Giving Birth

peasoup · 03-10-2006

i'm petrified of giving birth and my husband wants to start trying to have a child soon. i'm all for having children..as long as someone else wants to give birth for me

ladies...what's it like? is it as painful as the rumors say it is?

whirlygirl · 03-10-2006

Yes.

The good news is, after 40 weeks of pregnancy and all the discomfort that entails the prospect of getting a needle in the spine(epidural), being sliced open hip to hip, or just squeezing out a 7lb human will be welcomed relief.

Its worth it all, believe me.

signed a happy mom of two and willing to try again.

Hanne · 04-10-2006

Yes and No.

There are so many factors that you have to consider.

Low / High pain threshold
your choice of pain relief
straight forward labor / labor complications
how you handle yourself acceptance / panic

etc etc

You have to remember that you will mostly hear the horror stories.. the majority of the time everything goes well..

I had a pretty straightforward delivery 12 hours from the first irregular contraction to having my baby in my arms.

I have friends how have barely made it to the hospital.. that's how fast they delivered.. and others struggling for 4 gruesome days before being artificially 'started' and then having to accept a Cesarean because the baby could come out..

point is..you just don't know.. and that is perhaps one of the things that is the hardest to handle.. it's out of your control, if you choose to give birth naturally.

I was afraid of the pain.. I don't think my pain threshold is exceptional...it might even be on the low side..
What helped me was educating myself on what I could do to help myself during labor.
First of I took breathing lessons..
I read all there was to be read on pain relief methods, their pro's and con's.
And I made sure to inform my husband and write a letter to my midwife stating what I thought I'd like given different scenarios (normal labor vs prolonged labor )
You can work with your body and pain, let it's instincts take over or you can overanalyse, panic and act counterproductive to the whole process.

I had a tiny amount of laughing gas (nitrous oxide), I say tiny because I hardly dared take very much because I was told it would be taken away if I became to unfocused and 4 acupuncture needles in my back.
That was it.
And yes it did hurt, and I did ask if I could have an epidural when I thought I had had enough.. but by the time I requested it.. I think I only had 1-2 hours to go.. so it wasn't an option.

I remember thinking after wards.. Would I want to do this again ? Yes.. but not within the next 14 days

Labor is tough.. and most feel butchered afterwards... in fact that was a big surprise for me, because I'd heard so much about labor itself..but next to nothing about what went after it..the healing.. All along I had thought.. hey, once I've delivered I'm over the hurdle..

laasia · 04-10-2006

I'm scared of it too! You;re not alone

misssakura · 05-10-2006

I'm fascinated by this site: http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/.../painless.html

I never wanted to have children...but when I read it ..everything just CLICKED. That's the way I want it to be. I'm not a sexual person and I can't enjoy sex but if I ever had children I wouldn't want it to be in front of strangers, I wouldn't want people telling me what to do..i'd want it to be intimate and natural...

(edit: oh and my mum drove herself to the hospital and delivered in under 2 hours...that's what happens when you aren't afraid and when you let nature do its own thing)

hmr1 · 05-10-2006

I have a good friend who gave birth twice. Both were virtually painless (she had an epidural) and very quick (only about 30 minutes of pushing). She is a very relaxed person in general and took the whole "giving birth" thing fairly casually. She made jokes with the nurses and doctors- very chill. I think it's important to have a relaxed view of the process- as difficult as that may be.

boho_mess · 05-10-2006

Not really. I thought I had a really low pain threshold (based on ordinary scrapes and falls) but I surprised myself. I couple of things may help:
-- take a good birthing class such as bradley or birthing from within
-- practise yoga for good breathing and concentration techniques
-- sit tailor pose to open your hips up
-- hire a doula
-- remind yourself that it WILL end
-- do not be afraid/ashamed to ask for pain medication

Oh, and giving birth can hardly compare with raising the child. That's painful (but rewarding and fun at the same time) :-)

SiennaInLondon · 06-10-2006

Wouldnt do it. End of contribution

Actually that would be more to do with the effects on the body rather than the pain as I have a very high threshold. But then I am selfish like that! You know womens' bodies can cope with pain better than mens' because of childbirth. Try waxing a man. Oh the fun!

cuteshoes215 · 06-10-2006

lol..i can handle a bikini wax and it doesn't seem that bad. not nearly as bad as people SAY it is. does that mean I can have children and it won't bother me much??

Hanne · 06-10-2006

You can't compare..
the pain is not the same type of pain..
and think about it..you're not being bikini waxed for hours/days nonestop..atleast I hope for your sake that you're not..

Browneyes · 06-10-2006

I would love to have kids one day (not anytime soon though - I'm single and 22

) actually, what scares me more, at the moment, is not the physical pain but the responsibility and the changes to one's life.

MissWednesday · 06-10-2006

God, the thought of having kids is my worst nightmare. Not to mention childbirth as well!

So...good luck and all. I'll be thinking of you

misssakura · 06-10-2006

I do find it so odd when women have labour over 3 hours..it seems so unnatural :/

taperjeangirl · 06-10-2006

You just forget the pain as soon as you see your child for the first time. Sadly my daughter was born early so needed to go into special care. I made sure I could have my partner (who was next to useless during the labour) and my mum (who was a great help) with me.

peasoup · 30-12-2006

well..i hope it's not as bad as it seems because I AM PREGNANT! we're so excited!

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Browneyes backstage pass Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: a suitcase Gender: femme Posts: 709	I would love to have kids one day (not anytime soon though - I'm single and 22 ) actually, what scares me more, at the moment, is not the physical pain but the responsibility and the changes to one's life. __________________ Didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.

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03-10-2006	1
peasoup windowshopping Join Date: Sep 2006 Gender: femme Posts: 12	Giving Birth i'm petrified of giving birth and my husband wants to start trying to have a child soon. i'm all for having children..as long as someone else wants to give birth for me ladies...what's it like? is it as painful as the rumors say it is? Last edited by peasoup; 03-10-2006 at 05:44 PM.

03-10-2006	2
whirlygirl front row Join Date: Jun 2005 Gender: femme Posts: 441	Yes. The good news is, after 40 weeks of pregnancy and all the discomfort that entails the prospect of getting a needle in the spine(epidural), being sliced open hip to hip, or just squeezing out a 7lb human will be welcomed relief. Its worth it all, believe me. signed a happy mom of two and willing to try again.

04-10-2006	3
Hanne Storm &amp;amp; Sommer Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Cph Gender: femme Posts: 15,918	Yes and No. There are so many factors that you have to consider. Low / High pain threshold your choice of pain relief straight forward labor / labor complications how you handle yourself acceptance / panic etc etc You have to remember that you will mostly hear the horror stories.. the majority of the time everything goes well.. I had a pretty straightforward delivery 12 hours from the first irregular contraction to having my baby in my arms. I have friends how have barely made it to the hospital.. that's how fast they delivered.. and others struggling for 4 gruesome days before being artificially 'started' and then having to accept a Cesarean because the baby could come out.. point is..you just don't know.. and that is perhaps one of the things that is the hardest to handle.. it's out of your control, if you choose to give birth naturally. I was afraid of the pain.. I don't think my pain threshold is exceptional...it might even be on the low side.. What helped me was educating myself on what I could do to help myself during labor. First of I took breathing lessons.. I read all there was to be read on pain relief methods, their pro's and con's. And I made sure to inform my husband and write a letter to my midwife stating what I thought I'd like given different scenarios (normal labor vs prolonged labor ) You can work with your body and pain, let it's instincts take over or you can overanalyse, panic and act counterproductive to the whole process. I had a tiny amount of laughing gas (nitrous oxide), I say tiny because I hardly dared take very much because I was told it would be taken away if I became to unfocused and 4 acupuncture needles in my back. That was it. And yes it did hurt, and I did ask if I could have an epidural when I thought I had had enough.. but by the time I requested it.. I think I only had 1-2 hours to go.. so it wasn't an option. I remember thinking after wards.. Would I want to do this again ? Yes.. but not within the next 14 days Labor is tough.. and most feel butchered afterwards... in fact that was a big surprise for me, because I'd heard so much about labor itself..but next to nothing about what went after it..the healing.. All along I had thought.. hey, once I've delivered I'm over the hurdle.. __________________ .

04-10-2006	4
laasia windowshopping Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Lalaland Gender: femme Posts: 31	I'm scared of it too! You;re not alone __________________ Do You Realize that everyone you know someday will die And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know You realize that life goes fast...

05-10-2006	5
misssakura fashion insider Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Auckland/Berkshire Gender: femme Posts: 2,381	I'm fascinated by this site: http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/.../painless.html I never wanted to have children...but when I read it ..everything just CLICKED. That's the way I want it to be. I'm not a sexual person and I can't enjoy sex but if I ever had children I wouldn't want it to be in front of strangers, I wouldn't want people telling me what to do..i'd want it to be intimate and natural... (edit: oh and my mum drove herself to the hospital and delivered in under 2 hours...that's what happens when you aren't afraid and when you let nature do its own thing)

05-10-2006	6
hmr1 windowshopping Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 25	I have a good friend who gave birth twice. Both were virtually painless (she had an epidural) and very quick (only about 30 minutes of pushing). She is a very relaxed person in general and took the whole "giving birth" thing fairly casually. She made jokes with the nurses and doctors- very chill. I think it's important to have a relaxed view of the process- as difficult as that may be.

05-10-2006	7
boho_mess windowshopping Join Date: Mar 2005 Gender: femme Posts: 39	Not really. I thought I had a really low pain threshold (based on ordinary scrapes and falls) but I surprised myself. I couple of things may help: -- take a good birthing class such as bradley or birthing from within -- practise yoga for good breathing and concentration techniques -- sit tailor pose to open your hips up -- hire a doula -- remind yourself that it WILL end -- do not be afraid/ashamed to ask for pain medication Oh, and giving birth can hardly compare with raising the child. That's painful (but rewarding and fun at the same time) :-)

06-10-2006	8
SiennaInLondon V.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2004 Gender: homme Posts: 4,066	Wouldnt do it. End of contribution Actually that would be more to do with the effects on the body rather than the pain as I have a very high threshold. But then I am selfish like that! You know womens' bodies can cope with pain better than mens' because of childbirth. Try waxing a man. Oh the fun!

06-10-2006	9
cuteshoes215 fashion icon Join Date: Feb 2006 Gender: femme Posts: 3,529	lol..i can handle a bikini wax and it doesn't seem that bad. not nearly as bad as people SAY it is. does that mean I can have children and it won't bother me much??

06-10-2006	12
MissWednesday front row Join Date: May 2006 Location: Australia Gender: femme Posts: 205	God, the thought of having kids is my worst nightmare. Not to mention childbirth as well! So...good luck and all. I'll be thinking of you __________________ As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become Derelicte!

06-10-2006	14
taperjeangirl tfs star Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: The park of Belsize Gender: femme Posts: 1,586	You just forget the pain as soon as you see your child for the first time. Sadly my daughter was born early so needed to go into special care. I made sure I could have my partner (who was next to useless during the labour) and my mum (who was a great help) with me. __________________ Any sort of pretension induces mediocrity in art and life alike. Margot Fonteyn

30-12-2006	15
peasoup windowshopping Join Date: Sep 2006 Gender: femme Posts: 12	well..i hope it's not as bad as it seems because I AM PREGNANT! we're so excited!