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04-04-2013
  571
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RedandNavy's Avatar
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eizhowa View Post

EvaH: I think your fiance should pay for the dress if it is that important to him Or rent, like Ta-ta suggested. You are lucky he notices what you wear at least
Haha, indeed! My husband would NEVER want me to buy a new dress for every occasion. Indeed, he wouldn't mind if I always wore the same in 20 occassions

 
 
04-04-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedandNavy View Post
Haha, indeed! My husband would NEVER want me to buy a new dress for every occasion. Indeed, he wouldn't mind if I always wore the same in 20 occassions
He is like this for houses and it is really annoying grrr

It really is interesting to hear all your reasons and stories.. Mine is very different. I have always been very fortunate but once I hit teenage years I started to feel very ashamed of it and built myself in contradiction to my mum (who spends a lot on jewellery, shoes and handbags and then a bit less on clothes). Once I hit 15, my focus was my real estate portfolio. That's the only place where I did not feel guilty of spending money. This and traveling. That's where the habit of shopping only on holidays started. However, I never wanted to spend "real" money so I would always focus on very cheap stores and keep my stuff for a long time. All the skirts on my Pinterest for example, dates back to when I was a teenager and I am now 23 years old.. I rarely had an issue with buying things I did not absolutely love or that did not fit. In fact, the very first thing I bought and was a bit disappointed about was the Vanessa Bruno sweater. I kept it because it is pretty and do the job so no regret here, I was just expecting something different for my "very first piece".

When I found this forum and this approach I saw it as a way to feel better about spending money on clothes. I thought it was a sort of freeing moment/space. Sadly, since I have very few limitations, I really am in an awkward space. Now I just think "I really like this and it is good quality. I will finally wear something not the whole world - my family - will be disapproving of and it will last even longer than what I have. Why shouldn't I take it?" I left a couple of things in my Pinterest to be really sure that I really like them, thanks to all of you I found a colour scheme AND I have a better idea of what I like and fit me (like eizhowa was saying: liking a piece of clothing as an object is different than liking it as something we could wear). So it is now difficult to see them sold out... Before all of this, I was never looking for anything, outside of occasional visits to store when I was on holidays.. This means I couldn't miss any good items or clothes I really loved Seeing nice things I considered going sold out is quite unpleasant indeed

This is where I am. I cleaned my closet because I realised (or wrongly thought) that most here had very few pieces. I think I just got confused with the pieces you buy each year and the ones you actually own and also use on a daily basis. I also cleaned it because it was ashamed of having so many items from my teenage years/ for so long without any clear direction and no "adult" wardrobe with quality pieces.. My plan was to donate everything, keep fewer and fewer old things until none remains..
Finally, I sometimes wish it was either the bag or the nice trip. It might be easier to actually out things in perspective and really focus.. Gosh I sound so ungrateful. I am sorry... I just feel like it would be easier to pass on things..

As for the dress: I don't really like my fiancé paying for my personal things. He is a bit less fortunate than I am and unlike me he is actually first generation and working hard on it. I prefer him to spoil his family I will just have a word with him, maybe try separate instead of dresses or just count those out of the 4-5 pieces. At least if we ever get a girl, she will have tons of beautiful (hopefully) vintage gowns to play with

/this is so long and I feel like I went to a counsellor. My apologies
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Last edited by EvaH; 04-04-2013 at 01:10 PM.
 
04-04-2013
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eizhowa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
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Gosh, there are so many people here now I can barely keep up

Quote:
Overall wardrobe: I am going to try to clean my wardrobe a little more. Without the emotional factor. I thought I was doing pretty wellas except from the Zara basics, wolford, 2 evening dresses and 1 blazer, everything is pictured. How many items do you have in your wardrobe? How many items should I be aiming for?
How many items you need probably varies a lot according to your lifestyle, but this is what I have (based on my memory):

Knits: 6
Blouses: 3 + 2 dressy ones.
Trousers: 5
Skirts: 4
Jackets and coats: 16 (What? It is cold here.)
Shoes: 15 (don't judge)
Dresses: approx. 20 (We've discussed this before. They are ALL staying:p)
Handbags: 1 + 2 clutches


In winter I use about 20-30 items. I could make do with a lot less. Your lifestyle and needs are probably very different from mine:/ I wish I had more of an opportunity to wear my dresses

 
04-04-2013
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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I'm probably different from a lot of you in the sense that I don't think I have to have very few items... I don't want to have a 30 pieces wardrobe, I just want to really focus on what I buy and make sure it does go with my wardrobe and is not just "pieces I like as objects" and that have no function because they don't go with what I own, or with my body, etc. I don't mind having 200 items if they all make sense together and to me - I just wouldn't go out and buy 200 pieces right now because things change: bodies, tastes, lifestyles.

 
04-04-2013
  575
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^ Same here.
But in the last couple of years I really learned not to impulse buy anything and to really make sure I need, not just want something. I had very few pieces that were unfortunate purchases, but I just didn't need so many, as I'm wearing my favourite ones the most in the end.
I became a very thoughtful buyer (sometimes even too much which leads to indecision) and choose every piece really carefully.
In that period I had to save money for more important stuff (for me, that is) that clothing and I am more and more aware how important quality is.

In the other news, my diploma work got published today again (in the other media) and I found those perfect heels for me.
I pinned them already, talking about McQ Alexander McQueen Leather Perspex Heel Sandal.
They are:
- reasonably priced (gotta love Yoox )
- the heel height is just right for my lifestyle (a girl has to walk, you know)
- seem very comfortable
- go really well with my wardrobe, colour and style wise
- they are something special, not just a classic platform sandals
- they are McQueen (I don't mind wearing designer things but get excited over some designers I respect, so this is definitely a plus for me)
- I instantly wowed when I first saw them, that's a huge indicator about how much I like something (some pieces grow on me over time, but in some cases I die a little inside immediately when I see something amazing)

I will get a reminder when the last pair in my size will be available to avoid unwanted problems again.

Sorry for a long post, but I am a wee bit excited.

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04-04-2013
  576
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Betinapple View Post
@Twistelette: That is definetly also a big factor for me. Limiting yourself in regards of money. I want the best thing available in my price range. And being a student that does not allow me to buy tons of new clothes each season.

@Ta-ta: Yes. Being picky is key. Today I bought - and returned that &Other Stories shirt. It was sooo nice. But at the end of the day if was not perfect, and although it is the closest thing to perfect I have seen it is just not good enough.

How are you liking your polka dot pants? Have you worn them yet or did you need to have them tailored?
They would have been fine as is, but the SA felt strongly they should be taken up slightly so there would be no break. (My alterations are free.) So that was done, and I picked them up last weekend. Planning to wear them this weekend I hope it will be a bit warmer ... I was envisioning wearing them with spring pieces and red. But I'm sure I will find a way It can be kind of fun to find ways to wear your new spring pieces when winter drags on like this After some spring weather it is cold and rainy here ... in the 40s today. Some people are making major efforts not to wear their fall clothes, but I can't say I'm one of them

Btw, lucy posted an interesting H&M article in the fair trade thread that may make you feel even better about that return

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There's a need for more individuality today, and my job is to cater to women, not dictate to them.
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04-04-2013
  577
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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I have previously had a paper clutter problem (which is now gone I'm happy to report), but I've never had a wardrobe clutter problem, so I don't worry about clearing things out. Because I buy good quality and take care of things, my wardrobe is growing, not shrinking. Shoes are easy for me to count ... looks like I have about 26 pair + my garden clogs. I also have no space issues or organizational problems with my wardrobe. If I had more space limitations, there are probably some things I'd get rid of. Some people like to have an extremely compact wardrobe, but honestly that can be an issue of its own People can compulsively get rid of things as much as they can compulsively hoard.

Like I've said before, it's a good idea to take emotion out of the picture, except where there's a specific negative association with a garment that sticks. That I think is worth paying attention to, and IMO that garment should be weeded/replaced if necessary ASAP. But I find guilt to be non-productive. I think it's good to frame things in a more positive way ...

It is a difficult situation to be without practical limits ... in that case you have to let your conscience be your guide. In my case, I really do feel strongly that I don't want to take more than I really will use and enjoy, particularly when I'm using new resources (i.e., not buying vintage), whether it's clothes, square footage, etc. I really do believe that 'luxury is a reduction.'

I think separates is a good idea ... I have some black velvet pants that have been very versatile. A black satin skirt might be a good piece to add at some point.

It occurred to me that Michelle Obama is known for repeating outfits, and apparently the leader of the free world does not object

I don't know a lot about rental ... I've read about bagborroworsteal, I think it's called--not sure if they have clothes? But I would imagine there are some good options out there ...

As far as things selling out, I know (polka dot pants) how annoying it can be when there are no other good options. I think as far as the items you're looking for right now, though, there are lots of good ones out there, and even more so as retailers start stocking for fall. So I don't think there is real cause for concern there, in terms of really having missed out on something ...

__________________
There's a need for more individuality today, and my job is to cater to women, not dictate to them.
--Alber Elbaz

Last edited by fashionista-ta; 04-04-2013 at 04:55 PM.
 
04-04-2013
  578
Power to the 99%
 
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Hardly ever at Barney's
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jinadaze View Post
^ Same here.
But in the last couple of years I really learned not to impulse buy anything and to really make sure I need, not just want something. I had very few pieces that were unfortunate purchases, but I just didn't need so many, as I'm wearing my favourite ones the most in the end.
I became a very thoughtful buyer (sometimes even too much which leads to indecision) and choose every piece really carefully.
In that period I had to save money for more important stuff (for me, that is) that clothing and I am more and more aware how important quality is.

In the other news, my diploma work got published today again (in the other media) and I found those perfect heels for me.
I pinned them already, talking about McQ Alexander McQueen Leather Perspex Heel Sandal.
They are:
- reasonably priced (gotta love Yoox )
- the heel height is just right for my lifestyle (a girl has to walk, you know)
- seem very comfortable
- go really well with my wardrobe, colour and style wise
- they are something special, not just a classic platform sandals
- they are McQueen (I don't mind wearing designer things but get excited over some designers I respect, so this is definitely a plus for me)
- I instantly wowed when I first saw them, that's a huge indicator about how much I like something (some pieces grow on me over time, but in some cases I die a little inside immediately when I see something amazing)

I will get a reminder when the last pair in my size will be available to avoid unwanted problems again.

Sorry for a long post, but I am a wee bit excited.
congratulations on the publication and I would get those puppies ordered if you can

__________________
There's a need for more individuality today, and my job is to cater to women, not dictate to them.
--Alber Elbaz
 
04-04-2013
  579
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eva, just a PS to what I wrote before ...

It occurred to me that it's easy for me to say just release the guilt, since it's really not an issue for me. Actually that really is what I do ... I just think about what I'm feeling and whether there's any good reason for it, and if not, I just let it go. If that's not possible for you, it seems like a good idea to go ahead & address it head on. I'm not sure it really has anything to do with your wardrobe per se, but it's fair to say it is manifesting there

Secondly, I don't know if you've given a lot of thought to what kind of consumer you want to be ... it sounds like it's something you've avoided alot. Something you might try is to get a journal and write down some thoughts about this. I think this might in turn give some direction to what kind of limits and parameters you want to set for yourself.

Btw, I bought my trench coat when I was still a teenager

If you can let go of judgment of yourself, I promise it will be one of the best things you ever do. It really doesn't matter whether you bought a skirt or whatever when you were a teenager, or in any other decade of your life. All that matters is, you have a skirt, and the question is, is it useful or not? Do you like it? Is it flattering? Does it go with other pieces, or is it likely to?

In one way, yes, a wardrobe is important, blah, blah ... it's how you present yourself to the world, it can cue others to take you seriously or whatever message you want to convey, etc.

In another way, it's delightfully inconsequential. You can be witty with your clothes, you can wink at the world. You can splash out with color.

No need to bring a ton of baggage about direction, adulthood, expectations, blah blah blah into the wardrobe. That doesn't sound fun at all! That is what you should donate, burn, toss, pass on ...

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There's a need for more individuality today, and my job is to cater to women, not dictate to them.
--Alber Elbaz
 
05-04-2013
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Wow, Eva, that was interesting. I come from a country with a high standard of living and can afford some things that others never could. I remember I had felt bad about that in the past. But there were always clear financial limits for me, being a classic middle class girl so I have no idea how I would behave and feel if I just could afford whatever I wanted. It must be more difficult to set priorities.

I do think that guilt shouldn't be your motivation for this. Let it be true style, elegance, reduction, sustainability instead (or whatever you choose). Think of Coco Chanel who revolutionized the world of the upper class with new simplicity. Think of a Audrey Hepburn, who went to slums and poor neighbourhoods in jeans and a simple polo shirt. Think of Michelle Obama, who sometimes wears her clothes several times and is not afraid of wearing cheaper lines. Even the Duchess of Cambridge has worn some dresses in several occassions. True elegance always has to do with reduction.

Personally I think you shouldn't buy too much right now because I think you have just started the process of buying quality and really learn about clothes. Buy piece after piece, slowly, and learn from everything. Enjoy your new items, live in them, see how they develop... Give yourself time to learn and care.

Even if your financial resources are huge, the worlds ressources are endless. That alone makes a 4-5 pieces approach a very reasonable and responsible one.

Oh, and have kids soon so you can invest into their education, hehe and make a difference in the world with intelligence and with who you are and aspire to be.


Last edited by RedandNavy; 05-04-2013 at 01:21 AM.
 
05-04-2013
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Of course I meant to write that the world's ressources are NOT endless!!


Last edited by RedandNavy; 05-04-2013 at 01:31 AM.
 
05-04-2013
  582
trendsetter
 
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@Barbaraa: Having few items it not my goal per se either. But I only want things that I love and actually wear. In the past year I have noticed that too many things around me does not feel good. Messy soroundings makes the inside of my head messy as well. Therefore I prefer decluttering. Not only as far as my wardrobe is concerned but also about everything else. Therefore I have never had space issues regarding my wardrobe.

@Jina: Congrats! I say buy the heels to celebrate, if they are within your current budget

@Ta-ta: looking forward to hear your thoughts on the pants once you have worn them. The styling ideas sounds great. I will have to find that article. Sounds intriuging.

 
05-04-2013
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Jina: Congratulations! And I'm with the others, hope those lovely heels can be yours!

There's some really interesting and wise thoughs & perspectives on here lately, thank you everyone!

 
05-04-2013
  584
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Thank you all!
I will most definitely get them in a week or so, just waiting for some discount code (it's a sin to order anything from Yoox without it, since codes are sent in the mail so often tbh).
Shoes will probably be a graduation gift from my mum and I already have quite a lot opportunities to wear them in the following weeks.
For a graduation ceremony I might wear them with organza dress I bought last spring in London or with Lanvin x H&M dress (yes, I have many combinations in mind already ).

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05-04-2013
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Jina: Cool shoes, congratulations and congrats on the publishing! So cool! I love the blue dress!

Tata: I started pinning a little. It's not all things you need and are looking for but it's more of an inspirational pinning if that is okay...


Last edited by RedandNavy; 05-04-2013 at 11:12 AM.
 
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