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02-05-2013
  781
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twistelette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
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EvaH, that must have been a painful moment. It might help to ask yourself how your preference for a classic style has evolved, keeping in mind that having such a preference is in itself legitimate. What is it that you like about the way you look in that style, what do you get out of it? Is it the materials, the cut? (having a preference for sharp cut clothing lends itself to a preference for a classic style, I think, because in pieces like trousers and jackets, it's so obviously all about the cut in a way that, say, a bohemian style skirt isn't) Was it a reaction to the way other people dressed, or told you you should dress? Do you yourself feel you look/come across older than you are - is that a reaction you get from more people than just your fiancée and your family, or just them? Understanding more about what it is you like about the pieces you like, understanding more about why you prefer the style you prefer, will be a better 'place' from which to decide whether you want to change anything about the way you dress, and why.

 
 
02-05-2013
  782
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eizhowa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
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EvaH: I think sometimes people don't realize how hurtful their comments can be

I think the whole "investing" in your wardrobe can make your wardrobe seem more mature. Buying something you will outgrow isn't the best idea imo.

I do think it is important to consider what kind of signals you are sending out with your style. If you dress very classic, I think it will benefit you professionally. If you are going into medicine, looking older might be to your advantage. I always feel skeptical when someone who seems to be my age tries to give me medical advice (or to cut my hair). I remember reading "dress for the job you want, not the job you have" somewhere, over and over again. Your area of conflict seems to be your casual wear.

I think that the whole dressing "too old" can be amended with some tweaks. I don't think you should change your style completely to "please your man"... I looked at your Inspiration Board. Charlie Theron does dress slightly on the formal side, but she does combine it with interesting/younger pieces. She seems to be able to mix softer/causal items, such as scarfs, t-shirts and skinny jeans, with harder, more classic items such as blazers, pumps. Perhaps your wardrobe is lacking in the first? I think your pieces probably are fine, but perhaps you could accessorize in a way that "de-ages" your look? I have no idea how you dress. Your pieces can probably be combined in a million ways.

I think I can dress too "matronly" from time to time... I don't tend to show a lot of skin and I am very conservative in my heart (not in my politics. There is a difference...) I prefer my skirts to hit below the knees, I have no low cut tops (not even v-necks), and I prefer flats to heels... My favorite dressy shoes have a 2" heels. I look much older than a lot my peers in mini dresses and platform heels

Not so serious suggestion: Maybe you should wear sweats with a tank top (preferably with a stupid text on it) and pink earrings just to make him miss the mature you? (I am very dramatic sometimes...)


Last edited by eizhowa; 02-05-2013 at 07:36 AM.
 
02-05-2013
  783
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Lisbon
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Indeed that wasn't so nice, Eva But I agree with eizhowa with dressing for the job you want. I think sharp attire makes anyone look more serious, which is always good for a doctor. Also if you have a dress code for a job now, it's harder to dress down too much, I think.

But, the same way I said that a good pair of trousers, shoes or a blazer can dress up any outfit, I think a good pair of jeans, sneakers or a cardigan can dress the same outfit down. Picture any top with jeans and a blazer vs trousers and a blazer, for example. Add some sneakers or more casual looking shoes to it. If you want to keep the nice shoes, a cardigan instead of the blazer would also dress it down. You can still look classy and have a classic look in these, and all of those more "casual" items can still look dressed up in different combinations

I'm also told I dress older. I guess it's because I favour trousers rather than jeans. That in itself makes a huge difference. I actually wear trousers with sneakers sometimes... which is probably not the best look I also have a sweater, a hand-me-down from my mother, black with a crew neck and batwings. I wore it when I was 19 and I was told it made me look 30.

 
02-05-2013
  784
Power to the 99%
 
fashionista-ta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Hardly ever at Barney's
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twistelette View Post
no toddlers here but I see how you'd get there, thinking it might be me writing - it's a bit of a compliment for me! I like her blog a lot. and I like that top! the placement of the print is very nice, and I like the sleeves. let us know how it works out once it arrives? as for me, I've been hunting for some summer sandals. I found a gorgeous pair of Officine Creative sandals in a store nearby - cognac leather, slight platform (about 4 cm high, nothing too high), but not a heel, just a sort of straight platform, single band across the foot and straps around the ankle. can't find a picture of it anywhere, or else I'd share... anyway, because the soles are not 'bendy', all the weight of the shoe hangs on the anklestraps when you walk, and it's not very comfortable. I've tried them on twice now, willing them to be more comfortable than they are... my partner is also kind of in love with them (or should I say, with me in them ) and keeps coming up with reasons I should get them anyway. but they are a bit too expensive for shoes that hurt my feet... although... I could maybe get another hole punched in the ankel straps, so they will fit tighter on my foot. any of you have any experience with this?
Any price is too much for shoes that hurt your feet I know exactly what you mean ... sometimes this happens with a heavy sole too, extra pressure on the leather ankle strap. Recommend you keep looking for something that looks great and feels reasonable ... it is definitely out there

You know I will keep you posted on the blouse

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There's a need for more individuality today, and my job is to cater to women, not dictate to them.
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02-05-2013
  785
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twistelette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fashionista-ta View Post
Any price is too much for shoes that hurt your feet
oh, definitely! part of me was just thinking/hoping that this would be a 'breaking them in' issue, and if they were a little cheaper, I would probably take the risk on that, since they are so. beautiful. but from what you and eva said, it seems like it's just part of the shoe...

 
02-05-2013
  786
trendsetter
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
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On perfect items: I liked the article you posted Twistelette. Guess everyone has a different definition for "perfect". I do not think an item is imperfect because it will date. Of course, by shopping minimalist style it is clever to buy items that will last more than a season but I do not find stuff imperfect because they might be out of style in 10 or even 5 years. And really, I do not expect my items to last that long, I guess. As we were talking about a couple of pages ago, I would maybe want something different by then anyway. And if i really like something I do not care it other people think it is "so 5 years ago".

@Ta-ta:
Oh you know me too well Right now I am having an "I want to take all of my vintage clothes/things I do not wear ATM to the attic - now!-attack Maybe it is not too bad an idea. My clothing racks are working overtime.

Guess I can always ship it off too you or Eizhowa to store - such a nice offer of you gal's :p


BTW: I love, love, love your new leopard top. Think it will look beautiful with a pencilskirt and your Miu Miu bow heels.

@Eizhowa: if you are a size 3 we could maybe do our own community closet :p btw, you totally made my day with your comment about Eva offering to donate the cardigan. Sometimes I wish I knew you guys in real life

@Twistelette:
I know how tempting it is to purchase something that you want to be perfect, especially since your partner also loves them, but I think shoes should be comfortable when you try them on. In my experience there is no such thing as breaking in a shoe. Have you reached any decission about the ones you purchased from yoox?

@Eva:
very generous of you with the cardigan Sure it will make someone very happy.

I think one should dress for one self and not for anyone else. Maybe you should tell your fiancé that you respect his opinion and that of course you like him thinking you look nice but that the most important thing for you is to feel comfortable. That is my belive, anyway.

My boyfriend often jokes and says my style is "grandma-like". I respond by telling him that that is how I roll I like my vintage clothes and as Eizhowa I am very conservative and feel best by wearing something not too revealing. I have accepted and embraced that I must be an old soul And allthough I sometimes think that I might regret covering up as much as I do, when I am thirty and my body not all that .. firm, I do not feel like being uncomfortable for the sake of dressing my age.

Generally it sounds like your boyfriend do not quite understand or support your decission to do 5pfw. Have you talked to him about why you are doing it and what it gives you? Maybe he will understand. Any way I do not think it is his business at all. Pardon my feminism

@Fewormany:
I am sick of ironing too! I hate high maintenance clothes but the thought of wearing jersey for the rest of my life makes me sad.

Me:
bought my Zarah Voigt earrings yesterday. They are b-e-a-utifull and I love, love, love them. I wore them today with a silk-slip dress, leather jacket and pistol boots (all black).

The earrings were supposed to be my only purchase this month since I actually took a vow of not shopping but right now I am finding it hard to resist temptation, since a bag I have had my eye on for a year just was put up for sale at a crazy low price. And although I find it a bit pathetic that I can not even hold onto my own decissions for a couple of days I think passing on this opportunity and being able to cross the "cognac bag" of my list because of my own principles is a bit stupid.


 
02-05-2013
  787
Power to the 99%
 
fashionista-ta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Hardly ever at Barney's
Gender: femme
Posts: 13,670
Quote:
Originally Posted by Betinapple View Post
On perfect items: I liked the article you posted Twistelette. Guess everyone has a different definition for "perfect". I do not think an item is imperfect because it will date. Of course, by shopping minimalist style it is clever to buy items that will last more than a season but I do not find stuff imperfect because they might be out of style in 10 or even 5 years. And really, I do not expect my items to last that long, I guess. As we were talking about a couple of pages ago, I would maybe want something different by then anyway. And if i really like something I do not care it other people think it is "so 5 years ago".

@Ta-ta: Oh you know me too well Right now I am having an "I want to take all of my vintage clothes/things I do not wear ATM to the attic - now!-attack Maybe it is not too bad an idea. My clothing racks are working overtime.

Guess I can always ship it off too you or Eizhowa to store - such a nice offer of you gal's :p


BTW: I love, love, love your new leopard top. Think it will look beautiful with a pencilskirt and your Miu Miu bow heels.

@Eizhowa: if you are a size 3 we could maybe do our own community closet :p btw, you totally made my day with your comment about Eva offering to donate the cardigan. Sometimes I wish I knew you guys in real life

@Twistelette: I know how tempting it is to purchase something that you want to be perfect, especially since your partner also loves them, but I think shoes should be comfortable when you try them on. In my experience there is no such thing as breaking in a shoe. Have you reached any decission about the ones you purchased from yoox?

@Eva: very generous of you with the cardigan Sure it will make someone very happy.

I think one should dress for one self and not for anyone else. Maybe you should tell your fiancé that you respect his opinion and that of course you like him thinking you look nice but that the most important thing for you is to feel comfortable. That is my belive, anyway.

My boyfriend often jokes and says my style is "grandma-like". I respond by telling him that that is how I roll I like my vintage clothes and as Eizhowa I am very conservative and feel best by wearing something not too revealing. I have accepted and embraced that I must be an old soul And allthough I sometimes think that I might regret covering up as much as I do, when I am thirty and my body not all that .. firm, I do not feel like being uncomfortable for the sake of dressing my age.

Generally it sounds like your boyfriend do not quite understand or support your decission to do 5pfw. Have you talked to him about why you are doing it and what it gives you? Maybe he will understand. Any way I do not think it is his business at all. Pardon my feminism

@Fewormany: I am sick of ironing too! I hate high maintenance clothes but the thought of wearing jersey for the rest of my life makes me sad.

Me: bought my Zarah Voigt earrings yesterday. They are b-e-a-utifull and I love, love, love them. I wore them today with a silk-slip dress, leather jacket and pistol boots (all black).

The earrings were supposed to be my only purchase this month since I actually took a vow of not shopping but right now I am finding it hard to resist temptation, since a bag I have had my eye on for a year just was put up for sale at a crazy low price. And although I find it a bit pathetic that I can not even hold onto my own decissions for a couple of days I think passing on this opportunity and being able to cross the "cognac bag" of my list because of my own principles is a bit stupid.
Oh, I wasn't offering storage space, I was offering you my storage room to clean Trust me, it is a real not an imaginary task

The Miu Mius are a great thought Assuming the blouse works, I will definitely wear that outfit, and think of you.

So glad you love your earrings! and sounds like a good opportunity with the bag.

When I was younger, I often was mistaken for much younger than I was, and it was also preppy time, so everyone (or not just me) was dressing kind of matronly. You can do it when you're young ... when you're a bit older, you may not want to dress that way anymore, or you may want to give it some edge. When you get a bit older, there is no irony You'll see what I mean ... in the meantime, I see no problem. Also, I think there are a number of youthful aspects to the way you dress.

__________________
There's a need for more individuality today, and my job is to cater to women, not dictate to them.
--Alber Elbaz
 
02-05-2013
  788
trendsetter
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Denmark
Gender: femme
Posts: 1,363
Quote:
Originally Posted by fashionista-ta View Post
Oh, I wasn't offering storage space, I was offering you my storage room to clean Trust me, it is a real not an imaginary task

The Miu Mius are a great thought Assuming the blouse works, I will definitely wear that outfit, and think of you.

So glad you love your earrings! and sounds like a good opportunity with the bag.

When I was younger, I often was mistaken for much younger than I was, and it was also preppy time, so everyone (or not just me) was dressing kind of matronly. You can do it when you're young ... when you're a bit older, you may not want to dress that way anymore, or you may want to give it some edge. When you get a bit older, there is no irony You'll see what I mean ... in the meantime, I see no problem. Also, I think there are a number of youthful aspects to the way you dress.
I love organising so it would be a pleasure!

Hope the blouse works out. It is so gorgeous - and remeber to post in the combinations thread if you decide to wear that outfit.

I think I will purchase the bag. Too good to pass. That does mean that I will probably not get a new wallet this month but I guess my old one can be used a bit longer.

I do not think I dress that old neither but often I do dress more formal and convervative than people my age. I always did. When I was 13 my biggest wish for christmas was pinstriped trousers

Glad you find my style somewhat youthful though. And I think you are perfectly right about dressing conservative and how it suits you depending on your age I know many people disaggree but I think somethings needs a certain age to be pulled of. Like my girlier outfit that I feel I have become too old to pull off.

 
02-05-2013
  789
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eizhowa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
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Quote:
Tonight I'm going out for dinner and it really bugs me that all formalwear for men needs ironing. I would like to be able to wear a shirt without needing to iron it (and those shirts that claim to be iron-free are lying
Honestly, people make such a fuss about nothing. Just iron the front and collar and keep your jacket on

My national costume has a white shirt, and I admit that I am a bit lazy when it comes to ironing. I reason that I ironed it last time and that it will do

Organzing: I used to sit in toy stores and tidy when I was younger Too bag you live so far away, Fashionista-ta!

Dressing your age: First day of 9th grade I wore a brown/cream houndstooth suit (trousers and a blazer) and a short sleeve white shirt, all from Zara...


Last edited by eizhowa; 02-05-2013 at 01:19 PM.
 
02-05-2013
  790
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Posts: 1,363
Quote:
Originally Posted by eizhowa View Post
Honestly, people make such a fuss about nothing. Just iron the front and collar and keep your jacket on

My national costume has a white shirt, and I admit that I am a bit lazy when it comes to ironing. I reason that I ironed it last time and that it will do

Organzing: I used to sit in toy stores and tidy when I was younger Too bag you live so far away, Fashionista-ta!
I often just hang my garnment of choice in the bathroom when I shower, and call it a day things that needs ironing will get cringed so fast when wearing it that I really do not want to bother..

 
02-05-2013
  791
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^I am not unfamiliar with that trick either My bathroom has no ventialtion (except the door and window) so I have my own private steam room whenever I want

 
02-05-2013
  792
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eizhowa View Post
^I am not unfamiliar with that trick either My bathroom has no ventialtion (except the door and window) so I have my own private steam room whenever I want
Maybe I should try showering with the lights (and thereby also the ventilator) off :p

 
02-05-2013
  793
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Just remember to step out when it becomes difficult to breathe due to air humidity

 
02-05-2013
  794
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eizhowa View Post
Just remember to step out when it becomes difficult to breathe due to air humidity
Noted

 
02-05-2013
  795
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You're so funny.

Can't respond to all but LOVE the earrings, Betinapple, really lovely! And buying the bag you wanted for that long is a good decision no matter what.

I always get angry when my clothes are not handled well when dried, since usually doing laundry is not my task at home (but not for long anymore!), because everything gets wrinkled in a pile of clothes.

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