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19-02-2008
  31
flaunt the imperfection..
 
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giving never worn or barely worn things away to a good friend is always an option...
but sometimes it's not as easy as it sounds...
came across this article about it here...

from ft.com
Quote:
Better to give than to receive...

By Susie Boyt
Published: February 16 2008 00:34 | Last updated: February 16 2008 00:34

With the dreaded move no longer on the horizon but right round the corner, I have been making concerted efforts, like a dying man, to give as much as possible away. I have decided only to keep the things that I love. “Live Simply for Lent”, the banners outside the local church proclaim, and streamlining my things could be one way of doing this.
Giving things away, though, is anything but simple. The grief I felt on handing over four silk blouses (two unworn), to a good friend at the weekend took me by surprise. They suddenly seemed the most lovely things I own – one dove grey, one champagne coloured, one sky blue and one coral (my new shade) – as I put them bravely into her arms. My reasoning was they hadn’t been worn for three years and, although they looked decorative and alluring in my wardrobe, they don’t deserve their space, now that space is to be limited in our rental home. Afterwards, I blamed myself for not valuing them more and then it was only a few minutes later that I found myself feeling under-appreciated on their behalf. This is, undoubtedly, the worst thing about being a novelist: you tend to have all the feelings available, not just your own. If you feel discarded each time you discard, life gets very exhausting. I’m not as bad as the woman who cries each time she puts out the rubbish because she’ll never see it again, but you get the picture.
My friend was very pleased with the blouses, which helped, and as she left she told me: “If ever you see me wearing one of these and think, ‘Rats, I want that back,’ you only have to say,” which was very gallant. I remembered then how when we bought this house the children who lived here were lined up on the pavement sobbing as we arrived. It was hard to be pleased as our gain was so evidently their loss. I was cross at the time but I understand exactly now.
There is, I’m sure, an etiquette to offering nearly new items of good pedigree to one’s friends. I’ve never in my life been able to appreciate anything, however beautiful, given with the proviso: “It’s just too big for me now.” Yet what do you say when your behaviour implies that something you don’t want may be wanted by another? Does this not suggest some sort of criticism, either of the garment or the recipient? Is it ever flattering? If the giftee is much younger, one can plead the mutton clause but if the friend is a contemporary, how to phrase it?
“It doesn’t work on me, but I thought it might on you,” is fine for a person of high morale but no good for anyone touched by the occasional lapse of paranoia, and who isn’t?
“It doesn’t do anything for me,” sounds like the garment bears a curse or some mild innate recalcitrance. “The colour doesn’t suit my colouring,” could work but what if your friend boasts the same facial tones?
I am about to give some very high black patent chunky Prada sandals to a friend who is shoe crazy. I plan to take them to her book launch in three days’ time as a sort of congratulatory publication present. I bought them five years ago because they reminded me of some shoes that my sister Rose once owned, in which she looked very glamorous. Yet chunky has never suited me shoe-wise. In low spirits I sometimes feel I resemble a long-distance lorry driver, so I need to counteract this sensation with feminine things. A chunky shoe doesn’t help me feel like a heroine; a half-delicate shoe does. It’s not, as my friend Jake says, rocket salad. I have, however, enjoyed owning these shoes and their one lasting distinction is that they were on my feet when I had a very, very short conversation with David Bowie about his suit at the Serpentine party circa 2002. I faltered at this memory for a moment but urged myself in steely tones not to be sentimental.
“Might you be in the market for these? I love them but I never quite wear them,” I’ll say to my writer friend. Any giving of this sort must be lightly done. She will, after all, be doing me a favour by relieving me of stuff I can no longer accommodate. And if they turn up at the charity shop at the corner of her street in 10 days’ time, I shall be delighted to buy them back.


David Bowie! Of course I will.

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19-02-2008
  32
Power to the 99%
 
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^ I used to make the mistake of investing my "stuff" with too much importance. The experiences I had at those concerts I went to in the 80s--and 90s and oughts--are part of me now, and don't need paper to preserve them. The same is true of the conversation with David Bowie

If you believe that stuff is you, or your life, or your experiences, then you find it impossible to let go of. If, on the other hand, you believe that everything good in your life thus far has been incorporated in you, it becomes much easier to let go of the "evidence."

Clearing stuff out opens new space for new things in your life ... which is a good thing

PS Just this morning I found the worst performance review I've ever been given (nasty man, I expect his karma is catching up with him even now ), promptly shredded it without reading it, and took the whole mess out to the recycling cart. I am constantly amazed by the horrible detritus I find lingering around my house ... what the h*ll was I thinking to keep this stuff

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19-02-2008
  33
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^^
Ah, when I was applying for jobs I had a stack of rejection letters for some sort of 'filing' purposes that now escape me. I decided one day to literally burn them! It was so great!

Also, I looked around and all my ticket stubs, museum guides, and never finished projects were holding me back from things I wanted to do, read, write, live. I think also there is a certain liberating feeling in getting rid of scrap book like things - with it should be the certain feeling that there will be more exciting experiences ahead! My only exception being an excellent scrap book diary of sorts I kept while doing a semester abroad in london - complete with film reviews, mournful entries about boys, and my student id card with a jet black bob and chanel vamp lipstick - the first time it came out!

So anyways I tossed a bunch of things again this weekend, and now that I've been doing this for a couple of weeks on and off I see a big difference. Dare I say I even feel calmer when I wake up?!

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19-02-2008
  34
scenester
 
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Around twice a year ( or when I feel like I can't pull out an item without messing around with the others ) I will do a closet clearing. Usually I will take out ALL item from my cupboard and put it on my bed. I will try every single of them to make sure the fitting is still good and the item is still in tip top condition. Then I will sort into 6 category.1. the absolute love i cant live without -> go back to the cupboard.2. pieces that used to belong to my sis that I no longer want anymore will go back to her. We used to get clothes from each others closet and return it after we get bored. ( and after that it's up to her on what she want to do with it since it's actually hers ) 3. those expensive, impulse buy with good condition that have some reselling value will go to online auctions and such.4. items that I like & need but no longer fit, if it's still saveable, will go to tailor before proceed to go back to my cupboard.5. items that's still nice but I dont want anymore due to certain reason -> go to Salvation Army =D6. and those that's downright ugly -> off to rubbish chute.

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19-02-2008
  35
front row
 
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^I do something similar, although not with everything, just the sometime stuff.

But if I have a bad day, a lot of times, I'll take out all my drawers and refold everything and remove anything I don't need anymore. Yet I still can't close my drawers most of the time, especially my tshirt drawer. It's the downside/upside of working in a marketing department, free tshirts.

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20-02-2008
  36
Power to the 99%
 
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^ You make an excellent point about having a bad day. There is no better thing to do when you're upset than clear clutter. You reach a point where you've really worked it out of your system, and it also gives you something extremely productive to focus on.

I also have been meaning to come here & give you one of my best tips The very most inspiring way to determine what you really can let go of is to find out about someone who really needs some of your stuff--say someone whose house has burned, or someone who was previously homeless & now has a place to live. Suddenly you start remembering all this stuff you have that's very nice but you never use. The perfectly fine & barely used mint green corduroy pillows That seventh pair of salt & pepper shakers The bowls from eBay that you thought were ramekins The coffee maker when you don't drink coffee at home

So I did this over the holidays and came up with several boxes, several shoe boxes, and a couple giant shopping bags of very nice stuff. It was quite lovely to send it all to a nice new home.

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20-02-2008
  37
Power to the 99%
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by salomelovesjohn View Post
^^
Ah, when I was applying for jobs I had a stack of rejection letters for some sort of 'filing' purposes that now escape me. I decided one day to literally burn them! It was so great!

Also, I looked around and all my ticket stubs, museum guides, and never finished projects were holding me back from things I wanted to do, read, write, live. I think also there is a certain liberating feeling in getting rid of scrap book like things - with it should be the certain feeling that there will be more exciting experiences ahead! My only exception being an excellent scrap book diary of sorts I kept while doing a semester abroad in london - complete with film reviews, mournful entries about boys, and my student id card with a jet black bob and chanel vamp lipstick - the first time it came out!

So anyways I tossed a bunch of things again this weekend, and now that I've been doing this for a couple of weeks on and off I see a big difference. Dare I say I even feel calmer when I wake up?!
Yes yes yes that's exactly it!!! You said it so well.

And I think that's just fine about the scrapbook ... you do this in stages, and at some point you may decide that you can let go of those mournful entries If I feel like hanging onto something, I do ... probably about 1% at this point of the paper stuff I'm going thru. But you have to be in the right place in your head first ... if you're thinking like Miss Havisham you can't let go of anything

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26-02-2008
  38
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Oh I love the reference to Miss Havisham!!

I'm also loving the advice in Peter Walsh's book to make your spaces into what you want them for. My bedroom was moving away from my vision - part opium den, part oriental fantasy - into a messy area with a computer desk (gasp!) - so now I want to make it relaxing and romantic again. And rid myself of more things. Posted a bunch of things on Ebay. Sometimes even if something is beautiful if I'm not wearing it I think I should let it go back out into the universe for someone else to enjoy.

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28-02-2008
  39
windowshopping
 
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I'm not the most organized person, but my closet is super organized! Every season, I go through my pieces and decide what is wearable, what needs to be tailored, and what needs to go to the Salvation Army/Goodwill. Then, I organize according to Colin Cowie's system. It's as easy as 1,2,3.

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07-03-2008
  40
Power to the 99%
 
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Anyone have any inspiring stories for us?

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15-03-2008
  41
scenester
 
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Anything I haven't worn in two seasons, I throw in a bag and give away. Things I didn't wear in the past 6 months (for reasons besides weather), I attempt to create three looks with, and if it's impossible, I toss it. Shoes, I'll toss if I haven't worn them in a year, or if they look beyond repair. I check all my staples to find signs of wear and damage and debate what repairing/tailoring would cost versus replacing. Also, anything that no longer fits, I get rid of rather than letting it clutter my closet with a glimmer of hope that I might be that size again. Basically - it's closet genocide but after some major damage control, I have an excuse to go shopping again!

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16-03-2008
  42
jedinečnej krásy
 
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^sounds like a great tip for spring cleaning - one that i'll have to do as i haven't purged my wardrobe lately

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16-03-2008
  43
scenester
 
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haha yes I avoid doing it too much because I always go trash happy and get rid of a lot of things without thinking about it (and regret it later!) However, I just did a major purge and I feel a million times better

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17-03-2008
  44
Power to the 99%
 
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I'm continuing to clear out magazines ... the goal is one a day. Last week I hit 10

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Luxury is living a simple, elegant, and responsible life. Luxury is a reduction.
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17-03-2008
  45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovelylocs View Post
I'm not the most organized person, but my closet is super organized! Every season, I go through my pieces and decide what is wearable, what needs to be tailored, and what needs to go to the Salvation Army/Goodwill. Then, I organize according to Colin Cowie's system. It's as easy as 1,2,3.
What is that system??? I'm curious.

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