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16-11-2007
  1
flaunt the imperfection..
 
softgrey's Avatar
 
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How do you feel when strangers stare ? - questionaire
We have discussed how sometimes strangers can stare...
checking out what you are wearing...

and we discussed whether it's a good thing or a bad thing...
who knows what they are thinking when they are ...right?
:p

but how does it make YOU feel when you KNOW someone is giving you the 'once over'..


you know...the scan from head to toe as they pass by...
the sideways glance at your shoes or your bag or whatever...


do you hope to get stared at..?
do you love the attention..??
do you think that everyone who is looking at you probably thinks you're 'hot'...or 'cool' or whatever?
do you strut down the street acting like it's a runway?
do you look people in the eye andd check out what they are wearing to?
do you just strut and ignore everyone because it's all about YOU?
do you hate people looking at you?
do you wish you could just be invisible?
do you love checking out other people but wish no one would look at you?
do you rush quickly from destination to destination to escape those prying eyes of strangers?
do you feel self-conscious-unsure of why people are staring?
does it make you mad-*you lookin' at me...?...
does it annoy you...*what?..what are you staring at?

or are you completely oblivious and don't even notice it....

:p

have a think and let us know how it makes YOU feel when a stranger stares....


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Last edited by softgrey; 16-11-2007 at 01:03 PM.
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16-11-2007
  2
oh! darling
 
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When I get the once over, I kind of stand more confidently!

In psychology, it's natural for people to do whatever they're doing a little better when they are in the prescence of an audience. So then, I'll just hold my head a little higher and walk with a little more pizazz!

Great thread idea! I love all the questions... keeping me on my toes

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16-11-2007
  3
meet the press
 
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we all had people giving us the look, and in my case, i have a mix of good and bad feelings. first, i think 'ok, this person is looking at me' and i take it as a bad thing. but then, i start thinking that there's a reason why that person was staring -either good or bad- i caused an impression oh him/her.
it turns out kind of uncomfortable when the looking turns into staring for a long period of time, for example when you're in a certain place, public transports, etc.
i guess getting stared at it's a thing you get used to. sometimes you love it, sometimes you hate it and can't think of why people are looking at you in that way...

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16-11-2007
  4
Meg
inspired contemplation
 
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it depends on their intention. Sometimes when people stare, I think it just because they are curious. If someone tries to do a negative once over like 'what is she wearing' I just laugh internally and don't take them seriously as usually they are wearing floppy jeans tucked into ugg boots and some sort of weird coach bag. This really only ever happens to me in small to mid sized cities. When I'm in London I never get negative stares but I'm also not a crazy adventurous dresser. I know susie bubble has had people make comments. Overall though, I don't really notice or care because I dress for myself


Last edited by Meg; 16-11-2007 at 01:45 PM.
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16-11-2007
  5
tfs star
 
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I live in quite a provincial town. It's inhabitants are Irish, relatively narrow-minded and clueless-generally-considering style.

So, sometimes I get comments like "LIKE YOUR SHOES!"..even though they obviously find my pink Vans-esque shoes positively repulsive..

Also, when I wear my neon-green Umbro by Kim Jones shoes people often glare and then speedily avert their gaze since it's similar to staring at nuclear waste..

Generally, I don't care what anyone says and usually I love any attention-positive or negative-that I get

Just can't wait to get the hell outta Ireland.

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16-11-2007
  6
backstage pass
 
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I love doing questionnaires.

I think all of my answers here will be different depending on how I felt at the time and what kind of look I was receiving. Sometimes I feel good, sometimes I feel bad. The types of looks I get are all over. I think the following phrases sum them up nicely:

- She's attractive.
- What a gorgeous [insert item of clothing] she has.
- What a b*tch for dressing better than me.
- OMG wh*re!
- <- Usually surprised by how differently I dress.

do you hope to get stared at..?
If I'm in a good mood, a few stares make me feel even better. If I'm in a bad mood they can make me feel worse. I don't think I need to explain what kind of stares I would welcome out of my list.

do you love the attention..??
If I'm in a good mood I will like the 'she's attractive', 'what a gorgeous X she has' and '' looks. I won't be bothered by the 'what a b*tch' or 'wh*re' looks and will normally take it all in my stride and put it down to their teenage insecurity and jealousy.

If I'm in a bad mood I will think, 'Oh, not now!' when someone seems to find me attractive, I will feel embarrassed when people gawp at me wide-eyed and the b*tch and wh*re glares from women make me feel bad.

do you think that everyone who is looking at you probably thinks you're 'hot'...or 'cool' or whatever?
No, I guess they are thinking all sorts of things from the way they look at me.

do you strut down the street acting like it's a runway?
Rarely. I will walk with confidence when I am feeling good, but I won't walk like a model else I think I will give off the air of being haughty.

do you look people in the eye andd check out what they are wearing to?
When I'm feeling all right I always look people in the eye and smile, but - although I will notice a few things - I don't aim to check out others' clothes.

do you just strut and ignore everyone because it's all about YOU?
I only ignore people when I am not feeling well or am in a bad mood. In that case I would not be strutting or thinking 'Oh, I have such a fantastic fashion sense.' LOL

do you hate people looking at you?
No, but I can get annoyed by it when I am in a bad mood or when it comes to receiving certain looks.

do you wish you could just be invisible?
When I am not feeling so great.

do you love checking out other people but wish no one would look at you?
I like to sit and watch people sometimes, but it's not usually because of their clothing. I don't mind people looking at me as long as they don't stare for so long it gets creepy.

do you rush quickly from destination to destination to escape those prying eyes of strangers?
When I'm feeling bad.

do you feel self-conscious-unsure of why people are staring?
When I am not feeling good, but then I remind myself it is probably my bad mood making me feel so self-conscious and afraid of what people are thinking.

does it make you mad-*you lookin' at me...?...
When I get the b*tch and wh*re looks, it can make me angry. It makes me feel as if these people (usually women) believe the world revolves around them and that I'm not allowed to dress nicely near them. I hate feeling that in their glares and it sometimes does make me want to remind them it's a free country, no woman is less worthy than them of having beautiful clothes, and that if they don't like seeing what I'm wearing they can easily turn their catty little heads!

does it annoy you...*what?..what are you staring at?
See above.

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16-11-2007
  7
seagreen serenades
 
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It depends on who is staring. If the person is wearing something I would like to be wearing, then I usually assume they are looking because they see something they too like. Actually, last week on a train, a girl whose outfit I loved got on and sat near me... and we both took turns discreetly looking at the other when we didn't think they would notice.

If someone disapproves however, I think they're worse at hiding it. The face says it all.

But to answer the question, it doesn't really affect me either way. I'd prefer if people didn't look though, since even unwanted attention can make you seem like an attention-seeker to others...

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16-11-2007
  8
The future is stupid
 
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Interesting thread softgrey

Quote:
do you hope to get stared at...
Not really...but first you have to differentiate between the daydreamers & the actual starers & that can sometimes be confusing & difficult.

do you love the attention...
Sometimes...I'm comfortable enough with myself that that I normally don't get nervous or uneasy about it.

do you think that everyone who is looking at you probably thinks you're 'hot'...or 'cool' or whatever?
No not right away...but if we're on public transport or another close public space together we could possibly start talking & then I might feel something.

do you strut down the street acting like it's a runway?
Sometimes yeah I do (but not in supermodel way) & if I'm feeling particularly great that day I'll even look at my reflection in shop windows as I pass by.

do you look people in the eye and check out what they are wearing to?
Oh yeah sure I do...I love looking right at someone when I pass them by. I also have this thing I do...after I leave my apartment in the morning the first person I see I always say *Good Morning* to them. I've gotten varied reactions to that & I enjoy it.

do you just strut and ignore everyone because it's all about YOU?
No..I'm not an egomaniac...I know that I'm only at the center of my own experiences.

do you hate people looking at you?
Well...I'm always walking or on public transport so there's not much I can do about it...I'll usually just smile & go back to what I'm doing if I don't want it to go any further...like talking...I seem to always get the talkers sitting around me!

do you wish you could just be invisible?
Absolutely not...you have to go out & be in the world & if I don't want to that day then I just stay home.

do you love checking out other people but wish no one would look at you? No because I might like staring back at you! If itís a guy and they catch me at it...I just hope they donít think itís because Iím attracted to them as this isnít always the case. Usually itís because they look interesting in some way.

do you rush quickly from destination to destination to escape those prying eyes of strangers?
Not intentionally...but sometimes I'm in a hurry, yeah!

do you feel self-conscious-unsure of why people are staring?
I don't really think about why they're doing it...but if I find the person staring at me particularly attractive then I might take it as a compliment.

does it make you mad-*you lookin' at me...?
It might if I'm in a bad mood or I think you're a creepy stalker type...then I'll just look away & go back to my book or magazine if I'm on public transport. I know how to have my privacy...even in public.

does it annoy you...*what?..what are you staring at?
If it does I might say (without sounding rude) to the person: *can I help you* or *did you need something* But you have to be careful...because then you've initiated talking! But honestly...I've usually got more important things to think about & do.

or are you completely oblivious and don't even notice it....
Yeah sometimes sure...particularly if I happen to be in my own little world at that moment.

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16-11-2007
  9
What fresh hell is this.?
 
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Strawberry, at the train story..

It used to bug me a lot. I didn't like it and I always thought it was a negative thing...
luckily that has changed but I took years. I don't really notice it that much any more. Well not unless they are flat out starring for quite some time.. That do make me feel uncomfortable..

basically, what I think that people are thinking when they are staring are:
*What is she wearing. ?
*That looks cool
*Haven't seen that before
*Oh my her hair is crazy

I have no idea how to tell the looks apart though.. I don't know if that's good or bad.

I think as you get older, you really stop caring what people think of you. Meg's 'I dress for myself' comment is a great example of that...

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Last edited by Tinetush; 16-11-2007 at 04:56 PM.
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16-11-2007
  10
flaunt the imperfection..
 
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melange and MMA- i LOVE that you answered it like a qestionniare......

...

strawb....i totally know what you mean if it's someone wearing something i might wear...i've had the same experience...

:p

seems like everyone's moods affect their reactions...


**and i love that MMA admitted to store window reflection thing....
...who doesn't do that sometimes...i always laugh when i see other people doing it...

sometimes they just look so 'yeah--i'm f*cking hot---that's right---look at me!'

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Last edited by softgrey; 16-11-2007 at 05:14 PM.
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16-11-2007
  11
flaunt the imperfection..
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinetush View Post
I think as you get older, you really stop caring what people think of you. Meg's 'I dress for myself' comment is a great example of that...

i don't believe anyone who says they don't care...
maybe you stop noticing...but if you are aware if it..it's hard not to care...



i actually noticed it more in LONDON....
because people ( everyone!! ) just stare openly there...
whereas in NYC, the last thing you want is for someone to CATCH you looking....it's almost like no one wants to give anyone the satisfaction of thinking that they actually like what they are wearing...
it's almost competitive...


crazy people......

...

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16-11-2007
  12
the crying of humanity
 
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Depends on the situation. When I'm in certain 'upscale' stores, I notice the employees glancing at my outfit to see if I'm worth a "hello" or not. Often times they take one look at me and walk away, which does hurt a bit. Generally, however, I don't really pay much attention to people staring at me - they're mainly just curious, and that's not a bad thing!

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16-11-2007
  13
Meg
inspired contemplation
 
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dressing for yourself doesn't mean you don't care what other people think, but you don't dress for them.

I can't really find an instance where people openly stare in London, i've never noticed it to be honest. The dressing there, for me, is so varied that most people don't care. Maybe the tourists are the ones who stare?! :p

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16-11-2007
  14
V.I.P.
 
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My reaction to staring is to wipe my nose on my sleeve. Gets 'em every time...

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16-11-2007
  15
backstage pass
 
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do you hope to get stared at..?
If i really like my outfit, yes.

do you love the attention..??
When it's from the right people, hell yeah!!!

do you think that everyone who is looking at you probably thinks you're 'hot'...or 'cool' or whatever? I can tell most of the time when someone is giving me an appreciative look, and this usually consits of them looking away as soon as you see them or being oddly serious, as if to conceal that they even acknowledged you.

do you strut down the street acting like it's a runway?
i actually always do, more so when i'm feeling confident, but often times i can't really tell, it's like i've trained myself to walk with one foot in front of the other. (people in my school take serious notice.)

do you look people in the eye andd check out what they are wearing to?
Sometimes if something is too good to let pass, i go right ahead and do a once over and if they seem nice i look them in the eye and dish a silent compliment.

do you just strut and ignore everyone because it's all about YOU?
when i'm walking alone, yes.

do you hate people looking at you?
depends on who it is...

do you wish you could just be invisible?
some days...

do you love checking out other people but wish no one would look at you?
i don't care that much when people look at me, so i do the same to others. (not assuming that they don't mind either)

do you rush quickly from destination to destination to escape those prying eyes of strangers?
No

do you feel self-conscious-unsure of why people are staring?
If i do not think i look good, i get very insecure but other times i just feed off of it.

does it make you mad-*you lookin' at me...?...
if it's a dirty look, it pisses me off and i give one right back.

does it annoy you...*what?..what are you staring at?

When people that i really do not care for or like at all do it, i feel that way, especially if i'm in a bad mood.


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