[Milada]

The water isn't very refreshing here unfortunately. I still try to drink as much as possible though. I do, however, drink a bunch of tea. Any kind I can get my hands on. I'm such a tea girl. It soothes me, curbs hunger, and relaxes my mind. It also makes me feel at home and reminds me of the people I love most, since I have to spend an extended time period away from them and it kills me. Every day I realize I am not living life to the fullest. I try to have a positive attitude, but their are definitely people bringing me down here. I'm trying to work around it, although it's not very good for my confidence.

Why do I find you so god-damn inspiring, fashionista-ta? You seem to have the answers for everything. A few of the things you've said like the traffic thing remind me of a book I partially read called The Secret, although that book had a few ideas that I couldn't buy into, so I put it down. It was all about attracting positive energy. That's the kind of person I want to be.

I try to play music all the time. I tend to associate specific verses of songs with memories. It usually works better in the negative way though. When a song makes me sad, I try to play it a lot to make it meaningless to me. I agree to getting ready in the morning to high energy go-get-'em music such as "White Wedding" by Billy Idol, "Kids" by MGMT, some Spoon, Britney, Daft Punk, & Kanye West. I usually also find that "Pigs" by Pink Floyd always keeps me going. It's my most listened to song on itunes, despite its length.

I've always admired stars like Clemence Poesy, Charlotte Gainsbourg, and Diane Kruger who just always seem to be so confident no matter what they're wearing and so happy. They give off such positive energy and can make even the most ordinary outfits look extraordinary and personalized. Whenever I put on a boring top with jeans, I look in the mirror and think, "I would have considered this genius on Diane."

I've been writing in a journal more and more. I keep one online for my friends and family at home to read. And I write privately as well, mainly to remind me of all of the good things I have in life, that I can still count on if all else fails. I have such a terrible attitude naturally where when things are going great, I look for something to go wrong and create problems.

Yea, so this post was all over the place and kind of a diary entry in itself for me. Might as well copy and paste this to elsewhere.

[fashionista-ta]

^ What answers I do have, it has taken me many years to find

I have never read The Secret, but yes, it's more or less the same stuff. Esther Hicks was in the original 'The Secret' movie/series/whatever it was, but was cut out when she was told to sign over all her intellectual property rights or be cut. I 'do not approve' of the way The Secret's author has conducted herself so I prefer to get the information from other sources. I go by the vibe I get. When you start looking into esoteric stuff, you find

* people who seem to have good intentions
* people whose intentions seem more nebulous and self-serving
* people with a 'witchy' vibe--no offense, but not my cup of tea

I do my best to stick with the first category. I wasn't going to say any more about this, but as long as I am It's been awhile since the traffic thing, but one other thing I did besides the journal during those weeks ... whenever I got stuck in traffic I would visualize it coming unsnarled and unwinding in that mysterious way it does, and flowing like it should.

It's really all a matter of getting yourself aligned with that flow.

As far as the situation you find yourself in, it's a little hard for me to tell how much is missing your family (some separation is just part of growing up and getting your own life) and how much is real discomfort with the situation you find yourself in, which would be a genuine signal from within to change it ...

[saturnine]

I find you very inspiring too, Fashionista-ta.

Great thread, though your posts in it have meant a lot to me especially

[fashionista-ta]

^ Thank you, saturnine and Milada, that's sweet

[Milada]

Ah so the boyfriend and I have broken up . . . for the time being I'm sure. More like prob for a few days. But it's from across the world so I'm literally alone in the world. I react by re-directing my wardrobe. Everything is sitting out on my bed. I think I managed to find a way to make white tights work on the bright side. That was a goal of mine. Although I'm frustrated because I closed the blinds to get changed, since my room looks out to a huge restaurant with tons of people in plain view. So I turned on my one light. And my host mom sees and she's like, "no, no, no. Electricity is too expensive!" After 3-4 tries she was like, "oh okay if it's for getting changed." Some things are NOT cultural differences.

Overall I don't think I've ever been more stressed than I have been this week. There's just been so much to take care of, especially with school and my volunteering commitments. I was doing well attracting good karma when all of a sudden everything when to ****. This has been an off week in every sense of the word. Although, I'm oddly mellow now, because I'm like, well things can't get worse, can they now?

I really need help with this positive thinking though too.

[fashionista-ta]

^ I'd say it's a really good sign that you're feeling oddly mellow

The thing to remember is that what goes up must come down, what begins must end, what expands must contract. There is a cycle to life that is pretty much what it is. You really can minimize the bumps in the road, but change is inevitable. And it is not always welcome.

What you can always control (given a certain amount of skill, from practice) is your reaction to what's happening. And more often than not, that is the difference between a good day and a bad day.

Btw, stress (and it's an issue for me too) is the result of not being fully present, of pushing to get somewhere you're not. The solution is to relax and align yourself with the flow that will take you to where you want to go. It's kind of like a martial artist who can just tap, and down the opponent goes. Because of a lack of skill we typically expend way more effort than necessary, and in the process we literally wear ourselves out (stress is superhard on the body).

[dumbfairy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esperanza i have a bit of eczema on my arms and i got a tan and the eczema has made my arms have lighter patches. im so sad n some ppl i knw look at me like wtf

I have psoriasis on my arms and Ta-ta is right,people who look at it and stare are worthless. Honestly. As long as you feel okay with yourself you have nothing to be ashamed of or embarassed about

[Modemoiselle]

first of all:good thread.

so i really don't like myself. even when i look in the mirror i just have to squeeze my eyes.. its because my facial skin. but when my best girlfriend is around and we get dressed for the club/party/whatever and listen to good music i forget about that fact...
so i really have to say that music is a good way too start something good

[fashionista-ta]

^

As the title of this thread says, you are so much more than your skin ... it is simply the skin you're in for this moment, but I believe you were before & will be after ... IMO you should love the essence of yourself, and let your dermatologist worry about your skin

[silk skin paws]

These are helpful tips.

[StellaMare]

I love this thread. I wish I could contribute with something as wise as fashionista-ta up there but in terms of being comfortable in my skin, bien dans ma peau as the french would say, I have a long way to go.

[LoveBug]

Self image is an issue that so many people are dealing with that I am surprised there isnt more emphasys on it in schools/work places. I dont remember dealing with this when I was younger but now at 27 years of age I find myself spending too much time infront of the mirror before I head out! For me it doesnt even has to do with the body image only but with the image I portrait to others personality wise. I find myself too often questioning myself "why did I say that?why didnt I do that".
I have a question for you:are you happy with who you are right now? Because I am still not the person I wanna be...

xoxoxox

[LoveBug]

Until recently I tought that if you are not very intelligent and educated you are not worthy of a big dose of self esteem. twisted ey?
I got good days most of the time and I try my day not to be influenced by the outward world and just keep a constant positive attitude no matter what happens around me.

[fashionista-ta]

^ I am ... but it has taken a long time and a lot of work to get there When I look back at how far I've come, I can hardly believe it. (I would describe for you the twit I used to be so you could be amazed too, but that would be too depressing for all of us ) I will be 42 in a few months ... so it is a process And I think a little discontent with who you are may not be a bad thing as it pushes you to do and be better. Back when, I didn't know where I was going, but I was sure I needed to make some changes and end up far from where I started.

The good news is, humanity as a whole is evolving and growing at an unprecedented rate, so if you want to join it, there's huge momentum behind you.

Just remember to balance any criticism of yourself with deep appreciation for all the things you're doing right, and all the progress you've made.

[fashionista-ta]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveBug Until recently I tought that if you are not very intelligent and educated you are not worthy of a big dose of self esteem. twisted ey? I got good days most of the time and I try my day not to be influenced by the outward world and just keep a constant positive attitude no matter what happens around me.

What is intelligence? What is education?

You might enjoy Martha Beck's book Expecting Adam. She and her (ex-)husband were grad students at Harvard when she learned she was carrying a Down's baby. It's a fascinating book, and Adam is a spectacular person. This book does a fantastic job of asking and answering these two questions.

I think what you say about positive attitude regardless really is the key to everything. Being a victim can be really tempting, but I find that creating your own positive experience from the inside out is exponentially more rewarding.