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26-09-2010
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Melisande's Avatar
 
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Marjon I agree w/CollarScholar too..

For every "outer" quality that might be a good contender, I can think of a captivating person who does not possess it...

The only factor I think must be there is inner energy made visible.

A person could be extremely shy and not say a word, but if their eyes are bright and pure and full of curiosity...or languid, sensual and haughty, just to give two very different examples...or if someone is passionately at work in the flow of creating...when the essence of the energy that drives them somehow comes through, a person is more likely captivating.

But that energy must be visible. I also know passionate, extremely interesting people in whom that quality does not communicate until you get to know them very well, and that's probably not what we call captivating.

As someone mentioned I think it also has to do with being present in the moment.

That's why people are so utterly attractive and captivating when engrossed in work they love and do well...

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07-10-2010
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The expression they have as they walk past...where their eyes wonder.

I see so many heads down glued to an iphone or blackberry, its rare to see all the pretty faces looking around and straight forward, taking in their surroundings.

I find im captivated by women that have their heads high or cocked to the side, examining everything around them. I'm like that myself so i guess like attracts like!

And off the streets, in other environments...women who think before they speak, the power of well thought out speech. Very sexy and alluring. Im not saying you need to censor everything you say, but, a sentance with no ums, ahs, errrrs, is very nice!


Last edited by Juicy; 07-10-2010 at 09:08 AM.
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08-10-2010
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Is it sad that ever since this thread was started, I drop by and think hard on who have I met that could be considered 'captivating' and walk away?

And what I do have found captivating in people changes dramatically from those in the public eye and those I have met in person - and I suspect I'm only projecting myself through what 'captivates' me, I think when there's room for imagination, you can unconsciously (or consciously) paint a personality closer to what would be ideal for you or your expectations. Does it make any sense? probably not.

To me it always starts off as something visual but that can die in the span of a minute, I do find confidence arresting, same for style or physical beauty or any other first-impression attribute, but even if they all introduce themselves as the 'lead role' for someone's social charm, what ultimately 'captivates' me (aka. holds my attention for indefinite time) is all in the mind and the words and mannerisms they use to externalise what's in it.. I think wisdom, sincerity and the humorous realisation that you can never be entirely wise or entirely sincere are a constant in people that I would categorise as 'captivating'.. I know a man like that come to think of it, he just turned 64 but I'm not completely sure it's something you can only acquire with age.. anyway, he's very modest and elegant in his clothes and has such an uncomplicated albeit very.. intellectual? way of conceiving life, he's the kind of person you can't stop staring at and listening to and taking invisible notes to hopefully pick up on some of his ideas .. and he's also someone you can have a few drinks with despite all evident differences. On public figures, Charlotte Rampling has that 'captivating' effect on me as well (link!), and then some people involved in politics (politicians, journalists, analysts, etc).

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10-10-2010
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Confidence! Funny how confident people have a certain glow around them.
I wonder if scientists ever tried to figure out where exactly this glow comes from. Imagine if they were coming up with confidence pills that give you that glow!!!
I would buy them!!!

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02-12-2010
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-confidence
-good posture
-like all of you have said, an inner warmth radiating from their eyes and their smile
-slow, graceful movements/mannerisms

I think it also helps if you have a physical quality that makes you stand out, like being very petite or very tall, having very long or very short hair, or whatever. I would say that I know three woman who I find truly captivating:

The first is not what you would consider beautiful, but cute instead. She is very petite, and is a fabulous dresser. When you're around her, she makes you feel...important, for lack of a better word, because she really listens and really wants to hear what you have to say. She looks you in the eyes when you talk and has a very intense gaze. Not in a creepy way. But it's such a captivating stare, that you want to match her gaze but you're almost afraid to...does that make any sense? She also has this cool, aloof, detatched air about her, like she doesn't care if someone doesn't like her, but at the same time she comes across as very caring and sweet. Such an intriguing combination.

The second woman is very beautiful, and like the first woman, is a great listener. She's very shy, doesn't talk a lot, and is soft spoken, but somehow, when she does talk, everybody just shuts up and gives her their undivided attention. There's also something about her that just makes you trust her. I found myself telling her some very personal things within one of our first conversations. She's THAT captivating.

The third woman is my cousin. She is very pretty, tall and slender. She walks into a room and everyone looks at her. She's incredibly down to earth and has such a radiant and infectious smile. The thing I love the most about her is that she can have a great conversation with literally anyone and make them laugh. She truly has a light around her.

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03-12-2010
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Confidence is good, but I don't think it's particularly captivating, especially if we're talking about over-confidence. The women I find captivating are those who are humble, interested and kind. Humbleness is an important quality. To be a person who is interested in things makes you an interesting person... I love people who do out and do things, see things, create things, work on things that are simply for their own pleasure. I love people who think outside the box. I love people who ask questions and really listen to others when they are talking to them, with the right amount of eye contact and body language to convey that have a genuine interest in what others have to say. And I think that kindness is important, of course; I mean genuine kindness to everyone. I know everyone has that urge to bitch and backstab, but captivating people- in my opinion- keep the rudeness to a minimum and keep themselves to themselves, if you know what I mean.

The most captivating person I've ever met is one of my mum's friend's daughters. She is a year older than me. She is very shy. She isn't conventionally pretty- she has a very high forehead, long face, large nose and lips and a slightly crooked smile- but when you look at her properly you see that she is very uniquely beautiful. If she were taller I could imagine her being a model... she just has this striking look. Anyway, it's not just her physical appearance that I find captivating. She loves to play the piano. She has such a passion for making her own music. Whenever we visit her and her parents at their home, we go upstairs to her bedroom. She doesn't even start a conversation, she just plays the piano. When you watch her play the piano, you see something in her eyes- a passion, I suppose, a sort of fire- that just captivates you. Passion is captivating.

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03-12-2010
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couldnt agree more ^ passion is captivating.

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04-12-2010
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Obviously beauty and style are what first catches one's attention, but intelligence and kindness are what really make someone captivating to me. I'm also huge on mystery. Confidence is sexy, but I actually find someone who's shy/quiet/introverted more intriguing than someone who's an open book and puts his/her every thought/photo on facebook/Twitter.

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05-12-2010
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All of the people I have considered captivating, have all been so different. But the thing they have had in common is that they have had a very genuine, sincere way of being. They never tried too hard and had a integrity that really inspired.

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06-12-2010
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Their sense of humor, wit, personality, the way they look, confidence, quirks, the way they present themselves, talent, charisma and intelligence.

Tim Gunn and Johnny Depp would be good examples.

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12-12-2010
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A person is captivating when they let their inner beauty shine, as cliche as that might sound. They have such confidence, yet its not a cocky kind of confidence, its more of a quite sense of poise. They know who they are and have no desire to show off to others. Yet, people are still drawn to them. Also being humble plays a huge part in being captivating. I think some of the most intriguing people I've ever met are also the most humble too. Oh, and being quirky can also be captivating too! If their is something different about you and you know this yet don't care that can be really attractive.
In terms of captivating celebrities the first people who pop into my mind are Zooey Deschanel, Emma Watson, and Princess Diana (she was one of those people you couldn't help but feel that you knew). These women all seem(ed) like honest, old souls, who just knew how to brighten up a room.

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12-12-2010
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Ahh what a captivating question (ha-ha) and such refreshing responses! These are my thoughts on what makes a person captivating:

A captivating person has a deep sense of purpose and ambition. With purpose, people are not miserable and have something to wake up for. This breeds a positive mental attitude and I think people can sense this sort of drive in someone through the way they conduct themselves. That, and they smile a lot, have a bop in their step, and always take care of their health/the way they look. So at the end of the day, living a meaningful life makes someone captivating.

Haha wow, I'm quite the philosopher

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12-12-2010
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^ I love your response ErinW! You pointed out a few things which I hadn't even thought to write down. Its true, the most captivating people have something to live for, they have a sense of purpose and drive. If they live with passion and purpose then I think someone can be a captivating individual.

A captivating person also knows how too look for beauty in the small things. They know how to appreciate the big things in life, as well as the small. They are able to see the inner (and outer) beauty in everything. They also show other people how to view the world with this sense of wonderment too.

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13-12-2010
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interesting question...I have been thinking about that quite a long time. I even have a little book where I note down what fascinates me about certain people, to understand why it is that some people are extremely captivating.
What I have found out is that age doesnt play a role nor do things like being married/in a relationship, looking good, being wealthy...
It has often happened to me that I thought a person was only captivating until I talked to them. But I have also have met a few very captivating people especially:

A friend of my mother, 50 years old, single, teenage son, not really clasically beautiful but so good looking. Very true to herself, very "real", confident, energetic, so passionate about many things

What I find especially unattractive is if a person's confidence depends on other people. I know many girls who's confidence depends on other people telling them they look good ect ect.
Really captivating people dont question their own self worth (can you say that in English?)
they know that they are wonderful human beings, no matter what anybody tells them!

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17-12-2010
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common sense/decency, privacy, an eye for appreciating aesthetic beauty and perhaps even possessing it.

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