[ChiStreetStyle]

Personal style is well... personal! I would not appreciate unsolicited fashion advice. I think that's extremely condescending. What makes you more of a style expert than the person who dressed themselves! I think that with something as intimate as style, you have to be really careful giving advice. I would say the same thing about giving advice about relationships - do it very carefully and only in a constructive manner, and ONLY if asked.

[greengrassia]

i'm surprised to find so many people regard style criticism "condescending". for me, it doesn't matter that much, really. cause i don't see my clothes as part of me: the core of me has nothing to do with clothes, whereas has everything to do with my value, world view, ethics, etc. clothes are just clothes, plain and simple. they are maybe reflection of my attitude, but reflection is something shown in the mirror, it should never be misunderstood as the figure itself, which is the essence of me, as a human being.
so good criticism, i embrace it.
bad one, i laugh it off.
i know who i am and those things do not affect it a bit.

[imonabhaute]

It truly depends on the circumstances; the who, what, where, why and how are huge players.

One of my coworkers is kind of a jerk that says I try too hard (it's clear he doesn't or he thinks Khaki Dockers are the s***) and is doing it just cause he gets some sort of pleasure out of it. He and w/e jerk off the street makes a comment with ill intent often falls on deaf ears.

One of my other coworkers is so sweet and she has offered some comments that I like on piecing together outfits, makeup and hair styles. Comments that are actually thought out like; "That looks good, I think <bag/shoes/etc> would look great with that too!" Sometimes it's stuff I wouldn't necessary pair up on my own because it's outside my normal thought pattern, but that's not a bad thing, it's worth a try at home at least; a few times it's turned out fabulous. It's that she put some thought into it and means well makes me happy to hear her comments.

[Jenna-maria]

Why would I be offended?
It is my style, I dress the way I wanna, I put hair the way I wanna etc.
If someone have something to say, please say but I propably won´t remember what you said after 3 seconds.

[heyworld]

me and my friend ever talked behind my other friend back about her strange fashion style. after that, I felt regret. I think it's not necessary to give someone fashion advice if she don't ask about it. I think I have to respect her fashion choices. as long as she is happy with it, why would I criticize it?
also, I like people who are less judgemental. everyone is unique.

[justlooking]

I love talking about clothes so i wouldn't mind. I would never criticise anyone else's style though. Except for immediate family members haha.
I always say if i like something- i just can't help myself, it just happens
The only really negative comment i can recall (although i'm pretty good at forgetting negative things!) is when a friend said to me, 'i can't believe you chose that.' lol, i didn't give it a second thought! Though i do admit i was a bit ashamed of the negative retaliations that sprung to mind! But no, i wasn't offended. It was more

[Petit Lucille]

Quote:

Originally Posted by greengrassia i'm surprised to find so many people regard style criticism "condescending". for me, it doesn't matter that much, really. cause i don't see my clothes as part of me: the core of me has nothing to do with clothes, whereas has everything to do with my value, world view, ethics, etc. clothes are just clothes, plain and simple. they are maybe reflection of my attitude, but reflection is something shown in the mirror, it should never be misunderstood as the figure itself, which is the essence of me, as a human being. so good criticism, i embrace it. bad one, i laugh it off. i know who i am and those things do not affect it a bit.

Well, let me put it this way: Your values, world views, ethics, etc are the ones that define how you wear whatever it is you wear. Style is not just about clothes, it's the way you are. A visual part of it is how you dress yourself, either with clothes, or perfumes, make up, etc. If you are a free-spririt, it comes across even in your hairdo, so it is just as important as your ethics views.
When someone tells me how they would wear, it is a nice conversation, but if it starts out with "If I were you", I end it with "well, no, because if you were me, you would be me and not you, I'd never..."
But that actually made me think of the reason why it's not nice. People who give you advise usually don't understand your stye, or worse, they think they do... If they knew it, then you just talk about it, like have you worn it with this? That wouldn't be hurtful at all!

[greengrassia]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Petit Lucille Well, let me put it this way: Your values, world views, ethics, etc are the ones that define how you wear whatever it is you wear. Style is not just about clothes, it's the way you are. A visual part of it is how you dress yourself, either with clothes, or perfumes, make up, etc. If you are a free-spririt, it comes across even in your hairdo, so it is just as important as your ethics views. When someone tells me how they would wear, it is a nice conversation, but if it starts out with "If I were you", I end it with "well, no, because if you were me, you would be me and not you, I'd never..." But that actually made me think of the reason why it's not nice. People who give you advise usually don't understand your stye, or worse, they think they do... If they knew it, then you just talk about it, like have you worn it with this? That wouldn't be hurtful at all!

well, are you implying dressing up has nothing to do with technical point of view? that it has everything to do with your value, word view and ethics, alone? for me, i don't think i put that much of thought into dressing myself up every morning. sometimes i do, but most times i don't. so if i "technically make some "erros", like matching the colors or lengthes wrong, and i'm happy someone will point it out and save me from some further embarassment! it's really just that plain and simple
ofcourse personal style reflects a lot about a person, either conscious or subconscious, but the thing is we are humans, and style is just like everything else in our lives, there are aspects purely subjective, and aspects also objective, and i do make mistakes, i mean, the technical aspect of dressing up, i can be blind as well, like without taking a good look in the mirror so "error" happens, and that part has nothing to do with the core of me, and i will appreciate someone act as my mirror and shed me some lights. just like my world view is not flawless, yes, its personal, but as life goes on and i grow as a person, my style evolves so is my world view. we all learn from "errors", don't we?
my point is i just believe there are spritual core of someone's personal style, and also lots of technical aspects of dressing up. and that's the part i welcome others to address upon me, so i can reflect, and learn

[Petit Lucille]

What would you call an error when dressing? I don't believe there is right or wrong, just that more people agree in what is nicer.
I'm not saying that it doesn't get technical at all, rather than it's a mix of sensibility and thought, as everything is. If everything else, your values are based on thought and feelings. We are human beings, and everything is attached to both. Thinking is just as human as feeling is. When you improvise an outfit you rely more on your subcouncious and leave some of your preconceptions behind, until you edit it, where you put all your inhibitions to the test.. And none of this have anything to do with taking more or less time when dressing. Everything you do is a choice you take, some are more influenced by society's canons than others. So in a way, if someone criticized your outfit irrespectfully, is indirectly questioning your choices and the way you think or what you feel.

[greengrassia]

well, are we just questioning each other's thoughts and the way we think or feel? i don't take offense from it all. actually i think it's really great to stimulate each other to fully reach our capacities to think and reason ^-^ the same thing goes with someone questioning my choice of clothes, it's actually great that i get the chance to reexamine myself a bit.

[Petit Lucille]

I'm not questioning your thoughts at all, I'm just asking to understand your viewpoint. It's a good example of how personal perspectives can get!!

[greengrassia]

okay, let me go back to my original post, i really just don't care that much about clothes. it's a very personal attitude, and that's my way of thinking and how i feel. but i do understand for others clothes (or style) can be quite an important thing.

to me, style is a medium, not the entity. we somehow communicate the "entity" inside of us through the way we dress. but some people communicate less in this way(like me), some people communicate more. there are other mediums more important for me to communicate and express, such as photography. so style is quite secondary in that sense, like i said, it shouldn't hinder me,but to enable me to be free. that i don't wanna be bothered too much by it+don't wanna put too much conscous thoughts and feeling (efforts) into it. i want look nice, that's it.

and i'm, just like most of us, not born with style. i have to learn to combine my innate vision with the proper medium, like learning the technical aspects of dressing up, so that i can communicate better. there is no right or wrong, but definitely worse or better. so in that sense we can learn and improve, right? no one is born perfect. "an error" when dressing can be anything in technical domain, such as color, cut, fabric, etc. i can look like a mess when i don't learn, and just let my inner vision dictates on a whim. to find the balance between your inner self and outer self, the way you dress, the way you talk, the way you put thoughts in an articulate manner, takes some learning and hard work, at least that's how it is for me ^-^

and btw, sometimes we can't take distance from ourselves, like we are sucked up in our own egos, other people may shed some light so that we can gain some perspectives. maybe we don't always know what looks best on us ( here i emphasize "looking good', cause i think that's important), i think that's totally healthy and i welcome that, as long as it comes with a good heart. (hi, i don't always need to pick it up, right? but some perspectives are nice nevertheless)

[Petit Lucille]

We are actually saying the same thing, but with different words, in our own different styles!! Looking nice is something that you think is important, and therefore, it influences the way you dress, based on what is perceived as nice (or good).

[Tali]

I generally never chritisize, or give advise, unless asked for it.

I've seen that when you ask for opinions on your outfit, you can get a total WOW from one group of people and a total MEH from the other. I saw people WOWing outfits that I totally couldn't comprehend. While I've been thinking like "Why would anyone dress like this?" everyone seemed to be more than pleased. And the other way around.

As for my own outfits, I notice I get confused by people's remarks because many times they suggest things that are not my style, or in my opinion would make things worse.
Or they critisize the part of outfit I liked the most while praising the one I wasn't sure about.
I personally end up totally confused. That's why I constantly doubt whether to ask for opinions (this way you can also learn..) or not.

Anyway, people will always base their opinions on their own preferences, and who said theirs are better than yours?

[bunburyist]

depending on who was doing the criticising (ie if it was someone who had good taste or style of their own) it'd probably bruise my ego a little bit.