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10-02-2011
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Menace's Avatar
 
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Would you be offended if someone criticized your outfit?
I've always wondered about this because I've always wanted to go up to a person (usually a classmate) and give them constructive criticism on their styling (who hasn't? )

Personally, I wouldn't be offended as long as they were nice about it and it wasn't a complete stranger that walked across the street to criticize my outfit (which then I wouldn't be offended, just maybe a little creeped out)

And yes, fashion and beauty is subjective, but I'm just asking... are you open-minded enough about your sense of style to not be offended if someone offered their "advice"?

Also, while we're on the subject, has anyone offered you fashion advice and did you take it?

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10-02-2011
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I'd definitely be offended. The way I dress is none of their business. If I want to pair these shoes with that dress and I like it myself, I don't see how it would be right for someone to criticize me unless I asked for their opinion. I think people should be able to explore and develop their own sense of style if they wish to do so.

No one has ever come up to me and offered me advice, but if they did I'd view it as a very condescending thing to do, unless it was in the right context.

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10-02-2011
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I used to have this "friend" who gave me comments on my way to dress or how to improve the look of my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes.

Well... went from happy to sad or angry more than one occasion.

I will ask, if I would like another persons opinion on how I look.

Thats way I keep my mouth shut, unless they want my opinion.

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10-02-2011
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I guess this is why everyone keeps their mouth shut!

I think "criticize" was too harsh of a word to use here... I meant it more like a "give their advice" ...but maybe they're the same, hm.

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10-02-2011
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My group of close friends have very different styles and I've thought a lot of times "she could wear that without those, or with these..." but if she's wearing it it's because she likes it, so why should I tell her my opinion?

I don't think someone ever came to give me fashion advice, but I remember one girl that everytime that she didn't like my outfit, she came to say it to me. I wasn't offended but I thought it was rude.

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10-02-2011
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You asked "re you open-minded enough about your sense of style to not be offended if someone offered their "advice"?" but I think your question itself is a little offensive as it seems to imply that if someone is offended by unsolicited criticism, they are not being open-minded.

IMO, it has nothing to do with being open-minded or not. In fact, nothing to do with style! It is more about etiquette. It's simply rude to say to someone, without being ask, how they can do something better or what they are doing wrong. Plus, maybe that person has some comments to make about your style back! amour_amour363 said it right, it is condescending to assume someone is open to your opinion.

Now, if I asked for it, not only would I not be offended, I would be appreciative!

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10-02-2011
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But when do we ever ask for opinions on our outfits other than to our friends and significant others (who would probably be too nice and care about you too much to be honest).

I apologize if the way I wrote the question offended you (or anyone), I didn't intend to offend anyone. But I do think that it takes an open mind to not be offended by "constructive" criticism though (obviously constructive in their opinion).

Obviously, it's normal to feel offended when someone insults you, open minded or not.
I guess in a way, it insults the ego? For those that have a fashion ego, which I'm now realizing probably everyone on this board has? Including me.

But like I said, if they were nice about it and sincere enough in their tone and presentation I wouldn't be offended. For example: "The color and pattern of that tie doesn't really match the color and style of your suit. Maybe try a ____" VS. "Your outfit is hideous. Go change your tie... or your suit, then come back."

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Last edited by Menace; 10-02-2011 at 12:44 PM.
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10-02-2011
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^ Although the intention is good, it still doesn't seem like anyone else's business. If someone likes a combination of clothing that doesn't appeal to you, they have every right to wear it that way. I'm sure if we all were styled in one particular way, fashion would be a far more boring place!

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10-02-2011
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Considering that most people would keep their thoughts to themselves, I'd wonder about the true motivations behind anyone's willingness to dispense unsolicited "advice" on my personal appearance.

When it comes to the human race, attitudes are far harder to fix than any outfit, so it's often better to be more concerned about what's in someone's head, not what's on their back.

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10-02-2011
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Honestly yes, I would go through immediate awkwardness, followed by gratitude that the person bothered to approach me with (hopefully genuine) advice on how I can look better, then I'd get to a 'what does he/she care?' phase and probably stick to that, because, the person doesn't know you, obviously your personal approach to style is unknown to them no matter how similar it is to theirs or how they think they get it, so the advice ends up being exclusively based on their style/taste/notion of fashion, or what they think will look better... there's a bit of arrogance involved no matter how good the intention is.. I know I would tell half of women to wear clothes their size instead of up to 3 sizes down because that's how I think they'd look better, but probably that half would also tell me to wear things more 'body-fitting'.. it's tricky. And unnecessary.

I do take and emit criticism if it's people that I know (closed or not so closed ones), these are people that have seen you enough times to sort of get what your style is so when they tell you that your breasts look saggy with that sweater you wear all the time, maybe they're right ..

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10-02-2011
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It would depend quite a bit on the style of the person offering the unsolicited advice. If I thought they had excellent style, then I would be inclined to consider their advice more carefully, even if I thought they were being condescending - and I think it's very hard to give unsolicited advice without coming across as condescending, if not outright rude.

I have occasionally been offered styling advice (I wouldn't call it fashion advice) and sometimes I have taken it.

I have often wanted to give advice, but never have, because it's often along the lines of "go home and start over".

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10-02-2011
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^ I agree, it really do depend on the person doing the 'advicing'

This thread made me think of en episode that happened a few years ago. I was travelling with some people that I did not know well at the time. We were in Vietnam where i had a pair of silver brogues special made. This girl, whom I was sitting next to on the plane, just looked at them and told me that she was sorry but just had to mention that she found them to be butt ugly
I was quite stunned at that remark, as most people do tend to keep that to themselves.

But it actually made me appreciate my shoes even more, as her style is so different than mine.
If she thought they were hideous I must have done something right

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10-02-2011
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Im very defensive about my looks. The thing is this: If someone criticizes me and they have a basis to do it. (read: They know what they're talking about) I will not only embrace it, I'll take it and thank the person for it.

Regretfully, very few people here know as much fashion as I do so I dont pay attention. On another note, I dress very very casual .. too casual. So most comments are quite accurate. (I distinctively remember when I had this gig styling for this mag and one of the suits saw me and asked someone from the crew who I was because he thought I dressed real bad and the crew member reply "You pay him to dress people") lol

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11-02-2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ultramarine View Post
Im very defensive about my looks. The thing is this: If someone criticizes me and they have a basis to do it. (read: They know what they're talking about) I will not only embrace it, I'll take it and thank the person for it.

100% agree!!!! Unless they are know their stuff....be ready to get a mouthful from me.

For parties i sometimes love to dress in the Neo-Burlesque style (a la Dita) for example, you know, cuban heel stockings, a vintage party dress, pin curled hair and red lips and SOME IDIOT 18 year old porter from my work said i was a gothic

Dont even comment *talk to the hand*

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Last edited by Juicy; 11-02-2011 at 02:10 PM.
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11-02-2011
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In a word, yes.

I'd never give advice to someone I didn't know, though the thought comes unbidden to me all the time. Things like, well, she's been looking at a lot of fashion blogs. Or, whoa, glitter.

But I rarely give advice, even to people I know like my boyfriend, who has an unfortunate penchant for 70s pimp style on occasion.

Because why should I? If people put any thought into their outfits at all, they do it to feel good about themselves. There's no need to burst their bubble.

This reminds me of a frenemy I once had, who would always say things like "I could never get away with that" whenever I wore something cute. Really, she was just working out her own insecurity and body issues.

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Last edited by quimby; 11-02-2011 at 03:18 PM.
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