Drop out?

Jessica18Toronto · 27-09-2006

I don't post very often, but would appreciate some much needed advice.I have started school in Toronto(fashion management)this past September, coming from a tiny beach town. I am starting to regret it so much. I am only 18 and wish I would have taken an extra year to work and earn some more money. I also don't think mentally I am ready to live on my own, even with a room mate. I am just so confused and don't want to disappoint anyone. Have any of you ever taken a break, or "dropped out"- I hate that term though, because I don't feel it is fair. I love the city, it's not that, I just really don't feel ready.

VainJane · 27-09-2006

I'm notorious for never finishing anything. I've 'dropped out' of so many things, I've practically sold my soul to the Devil and tricked him into giving it back to me

And yeah, I certainly feel ashamed of some of the things that I've left (I have a hard time facing the 'adoring' grandparents sometimes). And at times I question the choices I've made.

But if you're not happy with where you're at and you are willing to live with the consequences of leaving, then leave. You're just in college, right? Tons of students change their minds about their colleges each year, you're situation is nothing new. No one will throw stones at you for changing colleges or moving back home. And believe me, compared to the crap I've done, you have nothing to be ashamed of if you leave.

The way I look at it, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow so there's no point in being miserable today.

spiralsnowman · 27-09-2006

I agree. This is your happiness we are talking about, which is not a small thing. Taking a year off sounds like a good idea (I did the same thing actually when I started grad school). Maybe you even can go to fashion school at a place nearer to your hometown, that way you can live at home while you go to school.

At any rate, your are still a kid really, and this period is a very confusing time for a lot of people. It's a time when you are trying new things in order to figure out what is right (or not right) for you. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, and it always helps to get advice from friends and family too.

smartarse · 27-09-2006

what i have seen and experience is that right after high school many of us aren't ready for pressures of higher academia. As long as you have your high school diploma it's perfectly fine to take time off and find yourself. As long as going back to college is still planned in the future. Trust me , i have friends who took time off after a semester of college. Parents must understand that not every child is ready for a challenging environment such as college/uni or even a community college. Because if a child is pressured unfortunate circumstance can arise and there's no turning back.

*If this is too much for the forum Mods feel free to delete... when i was in college, that first year at least 3 freshmen, one a Rhodes Scholar committed suicide. So for that, if you feel as a student not ready please take some time off. As for parents, they must understand that college is always there to welcome anyone at any age.

Baizilla · 27-09-2006

I am in somewhat same situation as you... 18, and questioning whether I've made the right decision about university.

I too feel like I am not quite ready for university yet, mainly because all of my classmates have a lot of life experience behind them, which they are able to draw on in any given situation, whereas I am the only one who is straight from high school, thus I don't really have any experience to lean on.
Unlike me, most of these individuals came to this education with a clear idea of their own identity, because after high school they embarked on a journey to find it...

Another issue is the fact that I am not sure whether this path is right for me, as I feel like I belong to a creative education, rather than business.

In the last couple of weeks, I've come to the conclusion that one's own happiness weigh more than anything else, and that one should not consider other's expectations when happiness is the subject in question. Disappointing anyone is the least one should think about.

Jessica18Toronto · 27-09-2006

Thanks for all the replies. It's really good to hear about how you have been in similar situations.

Ithillien · 01-10-2006

This time last year I stared doing English Lit at uni because it was the subject i got my best grade in at A level and it just seemed like the natural progression, however i had no passion for the subject at all. I was unhappy at the start of the course because my grandad died a few weeks into starting so it kind of disrupted me abit so i thought i'd give the course some more time to see how i felt about it. Anyway as the year went on i absolutly loved being at uni, made some great friends and liked living away from home but was still not enjoying the course. It took alot of thinking but i decided to finish the first year then drop out and do something i actually wanted to do.

Its really hard telling your family/friends etc that you're quitting but at the end of the day its you're future so do what makes YOU happy, its not up to anyone else. My parents took it less badly i think because i had a clear idea of what i wanted to do instead, my uni friends were dissapointed (I even had signed a housing contract for my house this year) but they accepted that i had to do what i want and i still go visit them etc.

Anyway now im doing a foundation course in Art and Design and looking forward to going to uni next year (A different one unfortunatly since they dont do the course i want at my old one) and when im at college i just think how glad i am that i did what i want, i visited uni mates earlier this week and although i miss being with them i just cant imagine doing english anymore.

long post...hopefully my ramblings helped someone lol

Sun_Goddess01 · 01-10-2006

Do what you feel and what is best for you. Dont turn up like me! I was applying for FIDM after I graduated Highschool, I did have plans to go to a University after transfering from a Community college. But anyways I got a call from FIDM asking if I was interested in going to their school and possibly get an interview with them. But I didnt because my parents felt that getting a 4 year degree would be best for me especialy career wise and they said if I want to get into FIDM I need to get my college degree first!. So im like okay I will do it but now im behind credits and wont finish college for a while maybe a little over 4 years. Its just hard to focus in school now because I feel that im missing out a lot of things and TIME.

I regret what I did because now im all stressed out and unhappy with school right now. If i didnt listen to them I would be in FIDM enjoying and learning things that I really liked. So follow your instincts and dont let other people get in the way of making decisions for you because it isnt their life even though they are your parents.

infamousJA · 07-10-2006

i would at least finish out the semester so that when you go back or go to a different school you at least have that taken care of instead of wasting this semester's tuition. i went to a school last year hated it and stayed there and ended up not going to class and not doing what i was supposed to. transfered to a new school and not much transfered because my grades were so bad. so if you not wanting to be there is going to reflect your schoolwork like mine did then definitely take a year or semester off but at least finish out the semester. i wasted 30,000 dollars last year and i feel so bad so yeah try to stick with it just for the semester. good luck.

HYZE · 11-10-2006

Would it be possible to transfer to another school? maybe closer to home? Even if it is, would that make any difference? If you're not happy, do what you need to. at 18 you have plenty of time to work out what you want and follow it up. if it's a subject you love, it might be worth thinking about whether it will get you where you need to go, if not take a break and find out what it is that makes you tick.

Don't worry too much about this though, I know it seems huge, but whatever feels right will be the right thing to do.

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27-09-2006	1
Jessica18Toronto rising star Join Date: May 2005 Location: Sauble Beach/Toronto Gender: femme Posts: 167	Drop out? I don't post very often, but would appreciate some much needed advice.I have started school in Toronto(fashion management)this past September, coming from a tiny beach town. I am starting to regret it so much. I am only 18 and wish I would have taken an extra year to work and earn some more money. I also don't think mentally I am ready to live on my own, even with a room mate. I am just so confused and don't want to disappoint anyone. Have any of you ever taken a break, or "dropped out"- I hate that term though, because I don't feel it is fair. I love the city, it's not that, I just really don't feel ready.

27-09-2006	2
VainJane fashion insider Join Date: May 2004 Location: Virginia and Seattle Gender: femme Posts: 2,040	I'm notorious for never finishing anything. I've 'dropped out' of so many things, I've practically sold my soul to the Devil and tricked him into giving it back to me And yeah, I certainly feel ashamed of some of the things that I've left (I have a hard time facing the 'adoring' grandparents sometimes). And at times I question the choices I've made. But if you're not happy with where you're at and you are willing to live with the consequences of leaving, then leave. You're just in college, right? Tons of students change their minds about their colleges each year, you're situation is nothing new. No one will throw stones at you for changing colleges or moving back home. And believe me, compared to the crap I've done, you have nothing to be ashamed of if you leave. The way I look at it, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow so there's no point in being miserable today. __________________ "But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."

27-09-2006	3
spiralsnowman backstage pass Join Date: May 2005 Location: Los Angeles Gender: femme Posts: 708	I agree. This is your happiness we are talking about, which is not a small thing. Taking a year off sounds like a good idea (I did the same thing actually when I started grad school). Maybe you even can go to fashion school at a place nearer to your hometown, that way you can live at home while you go to school. At any rate, your are still a kid really, and this period is a very confusing time for a lot of people. It's a time when you are trying new things in order to figure out what is right (or not right) for you. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, and it always helps to get advice from friends and family too. __________________ Well behaved women seldom make history. — Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

27-09-2006	4
smartarse V.I.P. Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Manhattan - New York City Gender: femme Posts: 5,024	what i have seen and experience is that right after high school many of us aren't ready for pressures of higher academia. As long as you have your high school diploma it's perfectly fine to take time off and find yourself. As long as going back to college is still planned in the future. Trust me , i have friends who took time off after a semester of college. Parents must understand that not every child is ready for a challenging environment such as college/uni or even a community college. Because if a child is pressured unfortunate circumstance can arise and there's no turning back. If this is too much for the forum Mods feel free to delete... when i was in college, that first year at least 3 freshmen, one a Rhodes Scholar committed suicide. So for that, if you feel as a student not ready please take some time off. As for parents, they must understand that college is always there to welcome anyone at any age. __________________ Head Over Heels* NatashaYarovenko.EditaV.ToniGarrn.KarmenPedaru.AliStephens.Sigrid.Selezne va.ChiaraBaschetti.

27-09-2006	5
Baizilla follow the lights Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Copenhagen Gender: homme Posts: 2,958	I am in somewhat same situation as you... 18, and questioning whether I've made the right decision about university. I too feel like I am not quite ready for university yet, mainly because all of my classmates have a lot of life experience behind them, which they are able to draw on in any given situation, whereas I am the only one who is straight from high school, thus I don't really have any experience to lean on. Unlike me, most of these individuals came to this education with a clear idea of their own identity, because after high school they embarked on a journey to find it... Another issue is the fact that I am not sure whether this path is right for me, as I feel like I belong to a creative education, rather than business. In the last couple of weeks, I've come to the conclusion that one's own happiness weigh more than anything else, and that one should not consider other's expectations when happiness is the subject in question. Disappointing anyone is the least one should think about.

01-10-2006	7
Ithillien backstage pass Join Date: Jan 2005 Gender: femme Posts: 744	This time last year I stared doing English Lit at uni because it was the subject i got my best grade in at A level and it just seemed like the natural progression, however i had no passion for the subject at all. I was unhappy at the start of the course because my grandad died a few weeks into starting so it kind of disrupted me abit so i thought i'd give the course some more time to see how i felt about it. Anyway as the year went on i absolutly loved being at uni, made some great friends and liked living away from home but was still not enjoying the course. It took alot of thinking but i decided to finish the first year then drop out and do something i actually wanted to do. Its really hard telling your family/friends etc that you're quitting but at the end of the day its you're future so do what makes YOU happy, its not up to anyone else. My parents took it less badly i think because i had a clear idea of what i wanted to do instead, my uni friends were dissapointed (I even had signed a housing contract for my house this year) but they accepted that i had to do what i want and i still go visit them etc. Anyway now im doing a foundation course in Art and Design and looking forward to going to uni next year (A different one unfortunatly since they dont do the course i want at my old one) and when im at college i just think how glad i am that i did what i want, i visited uni mates earlier this week and although i miss being with them i just cant imagine doing english anymore. long post...hopefully my ramblings helped someone lol __________________ When I grow up I want to be a Pirate. http://ponyforchristmas.blogspot.com/

01-10-2006	8
Sun_Goddess01 trendsetter Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CA Gender: femme Posts: 1,025	Do what you feel and what is best for you. Dont turn up like me! I was applying for FIDM after I graduated Highschool, I did have plans to go to a University after transfering from a Community college. But anyways I got a call from FIDM asking if I was interested in going to their school and possibly get an interview with them. But I didnt because my parents felt that getting a 4 year degree would be best for me especialy career wise and they said if I want to get into FIDM I need to get my college degree first!. So im like okay I will do it but now im behind credits and wont finish college for a while maybe a little over 4 years. Its just hard to focus in school now because I feel that im missing out a lot of things and TIME. I regret what I did because now im all stressed out and unhappy with school right now. If i didnt listen to them I would be in FIDM enjoying and learning things that I really liked. So follow your instincts and dont let other people get in the way of making decisions for you because it isnt their life even though they are your parents. __________________ Live Love Laugh

07-10-2006	9
infamousJA windowshopping Join Date: Jan 2006 Gender: femme Posts: 5	i would at least finish out the semester so that when you go back or go to a different school you at least have that taken care of instead of wasting this semester's tuition. i went to a school last year hated it and stayed there and ended up not going to class and not doing what i was supposed to. transfered to a new school and not much transfered because my grades were so bad. so if you not wanting to be there is going to reflect your schoolwork like mine did then definitely take a year or semester off but at least finish out the semester. i wasted 30,000 dollars last year and i feel so bad so yeah try to stick with it just for the semester. good luck.

11-10-2006	10
HYZE front row Join Date: Jan 2006 Gender: femme Posts: 318	Would it be possible to transfer to another school? maybe closer to home? Even if it is, would that make any difference? If you're not happy, do what you need to. at 18 you have plenty of time to work out what you want and follow it up. if it's a subject you love, it might be worth thinking about whether it will get you where you need to go, if not take a break and find out what it is that makes you tick. Don't worry too much about this though, I know it seems huge, but whatever feels right will be the right thing to do.