Suggest checking out the New Gothic thread ... as far as black, can't you just avoid wearing it next to your face?
Charcoal grey makes a softer alternative. (Btw, I believe our querent is an homme ...)
I think we also have a thread called A Soft Grey Season that you might also find interesting ...
I don't look that great in black either, but I also have the option of addressing that to some extent with makeup. It's so easy that I have plenty of black in my wardrobe anyway ...