[Zazie]

I was once a stylist for a short time at a fashion magazine, and tbh, I hated dressing up then, as my mind was full of images of what I wanted to see in an ed, the storyboard, the narrative, the light, the mood, the models, the textures, getting smaller designers to custom make something you desperately want in the picture or DIY yourself,....there is SO MUCH. I just wore black jeans (I owned 10 pairs) and either a white or black t, with a jacket/blazer/coat plus flats all the time, zero jewelry except for ear studs, while the editorials were getting more and more elaborate. I cannot imagine how stylists can spend so much time on their own outfits when there are tons of things to do in preparation for the shoot and then the actual shoot itself as the mind is often saturated with both details and the overall picture that you must never lose. As a perfectionist, you obsess over every polaroid, frustrated that what you are getting isn't the "picture" in your head, wondering why and how it can get closer without offending the photographer, makeup artists, models, agitated by the time, etc.... You're just exhausted, mentally and physically. You just don't really care too much about your own style as your work is where you have channeled all your energy. You live on staples, the Japanese, the Belgiums, you streamline yourself even though you're given loads of "stuff", you try not to go to the PR parties, knowing that they're all super nice to you because it costs them $$$$$ to pay for ads and getting featured in an editorial is a bonus, etc., fashion shows are a pain except for the more interesting designers, there is so much cr*p out there, and you're sometimes forced to use them as you're pressured by the magazines' sales dept., etc...

I would say I'd personally only wear 10% of the clothing items I used in the eds, I can think up fantastical tableaux that suit the particular style/story/season but which I will personally NEVER wear. I can fully appreciate designers whose designs do not suit me, but are wonderful pieces of art in their own right, despite my own preferences. You've got to separate your personal style from your work, both come from your person, but from different places. You need to be passionate about your likes but also be able to be objective to a certain degree and project away from yourself to other peoples, situations or events around you.

I think the elaborately outfitted stylists who are photographed everywhere in expensive outfits aren't "real" stylists, but function more like PR for their magazines, like my senior editors. They were bitchy, did very little actual styling but lots of "business" meetings, vetoed my spreads since they were "in charge" even though they were unimaginative and cared little for the work, fortunately, I was left lone as long as the readers liked the eds. As a real job, it's really thankless and limiting after a while, even though I'd love to do it again as a one-off, missed the creative energy.