Keeping Up With Lindsay #2 (please put all Lohan news here)

[Nemova]

From LaineyGossip:

Crank at the Chopard party

Chopard celebrated 150 years last night in Cannes. My Marion showed up in a sparkly pantsuit and looked great, was gracious, and probably stayed well away from Lindsay Lohan who somehow skeezed her way in. They’ll never say because they’re too classy, but the point of these events is the suggestion that these celebrities represent the flavour of your brand so do you really think Chopard wanted Lilo around their diamonds? The girl who is curiously and consistently at the centre of several theft scandals? Please.

Look at her. That dirty face, that dirty hair, those ridiculous lips, and some telltale French Riviera bloating. Show these to the judge on Thursday in LA. See what she has to say.

As for whether or not Lilo is actually working here – she claims she’s promoting her upcoming turn as Linda Lovelace. There will be a photocall somewhere and no one really knows how that will help her, or advance the story. Whatever she’s doing behind the scenes is probably much more effective.


Photos from Wenn.com and KCSPresse/Splashnewsonline.com

http://www.laineygossip.com/Marion_...rsary_in_Cannes_18may10.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=99

 

[Nemova]

Okay, I won't post this one because I'd have to replace many words with ***, but you can read it here: http://dlisted.com/node/37311

Especially the part where Michael K. lists some of the ways LiLo could travel back to the US.

 

[Boomer]

So she really has to come back by tomorrow, Wednesday, to make court on Thursday...should be interesting...

 

[shoesexy]

btw. why she just keeps wearing 7 inche heels if she is clearly not able to walk in them?!

It's not the shoes.

I had to post this picture of Lindsay on a yacht last night because 1) She has a ridiculous pair of legs for a girl her size

It's the shoes.

 

[LUXXX]

Still stuck in Cannes...at this rate, she'll end up in jail for a simple bench warrant.

http://www.tmz.com/2010/05/19/polanski-lindsay-lohan-flight-probation-jail/

 

[Kenysha75]

Really chopard & lindsay?!!!b*tch bogus
Im lost for words right now are they so desperate for attention ?

 

[Kenysha75]

Lindsay Lohan Is Terrorizing Cannes

May 17th 2010

The floors of clubs all over Los Angeles will be a little cleaner this week, because Lindsay Lohan isn't around to spill drinks on them or stain them with her fake tan grease when she stumbles down in a drunken stupor. LiLo will be busy doing that in Cannes this week while she's promoting the Linda Lovelace biopic, which she's starring in. So if you see her doing a line, it's research! And if you see her doing another line, it's a reward for being so dedicated to her craft.

If LiLo wants to yell at the pavement for making her fall, yell at the toilet for making her barf into it and yell at a bottle of Jack for being too delicious, can she please do it with an even coat of fake tanner on her body? b*tch has the skin color of a freshly used piece of toilet paper. A little yellow here, a lot of brown here, a few speckles of orange and a lot of white. A mess! Since The Curious Case of Ali Lohan is always tugging at her as* cheeks, LiLo should get her to evenly apply a coat of TANG with a roller when she's taking a nap on the bathroom floor.
dlisted

 

[Kenysha75]

May 18th 2010 Blohan vs. The Volcano

dlisted.com
Lindsay Lohan's DUI progress report is this Thursday in Beverly Hills, and the judge has demanded that she be there or else there will be a bench warrant on her as* for not showing up. The problem is that LiLo is all the way in Cannes "promoting" her role in the Linda Lovelace biopic.

TMZ's sources say that LiLo, who is known to burp up clouds of smoke herself, is unable to get a flight back to the US due to ash from Iceland's volcano fuc*ing with the air space. Cue the remaining member of Milli Vanilli, "Blame it on the asssssh that was fallin' faaaaalllin."

If this b*tch doesn't show up to court, that judge better knock her down. If it was you or me, the judge would politely tell us to take our excuse, roll it into a tight ball and shove it up our culitos until it kissed our bladder and made a sound.

Ash my as* (no really, my as* is ashy). LiLo can easily turn her vag flaps into a hang glider and fly her as* over there. Or TAKE A KAYAK! Or charm a whale with the howls from your blowhole and get him to give you a ride back to California. b*tch has ways!

Here's The Delusional One wearing a DIY dress at a Chopard party in Cannes last night. My guess is that the security tag was at the bottom, so she just cut that shi* right off.

I also threw in pictures of other hos at last night's party including: some creature who crawled out of the Iceland volcano, Baby Jesus, Kate Beckinsale, Marion Cotillard, Wonks and Nicky Hilton.

 

[Boomer]

Well, last night was pretty much like the hundred or so before, huh? I spent a lot of time working in clubs and I've never seen the various managements be as lenient or forgiving as all of these guys...If she was in the places I worked, celebrity or not, she would have been escorted out within 30 seconds...

Lindsay Lohan Partying Away Last Days of Freedom
Tomorrow Lindsay Lohan is due in a Los Angeles courtroom, where a judge could toss her into jail. But she didn't let a little thing like that—or any allegiance to Mean Girls costar Amanda Seyfried—spoil her fun at the Cannes Film Festival last night.
Here's what went down.
Lohan and her entourage turned up at the Belvedere party and immediately parked themselves next to the stage, where Grace Jones was due to perform. Among those in Lohan's group was Seyfried's boyfriend, Dominic Cooper.
"They were having fun, paryting," an eyewitness tells E! News. "Lindsay was dancing."
Cooper is in town to hype his new film, Tamara Drewe; Seyfried, meanwhile, is back in the States promoting her new chick flick, Letters to Juliet.
At one point, Cooper was dancing on a couch while Lohan stood on the floor beneath him.
"They were being coy with each other," the clubgoer says. "Not really touch, but flirty. After Grace's performance the sat down at the table next to each other and were hanging out."
But the good vibes didn't last—at least for all the attendees.
British singer-model Sarah Harding, a member of the group Girls Aloud, had been at the club before Lohan & Co. arrived.
"For no apparent reason, Lindsay's bodyguard asked Sarah to leave the table," the party insider says. "Sarah got upset, but Lindsay's bodyguard made her leave the table. Sarah was causing a stir, yelling asking why, but it really wasn't clear why it happened."
Hmmm…Booting fellow celebs. Flirting with costars' guys. We have an idea why. Maybe she's just one Mean Girl, after all.

E! Online

 

[farou7a]

kate and marion look so beautiful!

LiLo mustve really felt out of place there

 

[Boomer]

You simply cannot make this stuff up!!

Lindsay Lohan has lost her passport!


May 19, 2010, (Sawf News) - Lindsay Lohan, who is required to attend a probation review hearing tomorrow in a Los Angeles court, has lost her passport in Cannes and may not make it back in time.
The judge in the case, Marsha Revel, has said that if Lindsay is not in court by 8:30 AM on Thursday, she will issue an arrest warrant.
Lindsay's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, tells TMZ that efforts are on to ensure Lindsay's presence in court at the hearing.
"I was on the phone with Lindsay's assistant the entire night and we're doing everything we can to resolve this issue and get her back to L.A," Holley said.
Sources tell TMZ that Lindsay has an appointment with the US embassy in France at 9 AM on Thursday for a new passport.
It remains to be seen if the process involved in issuing of a replacement passport, travel procedures and Newtonian laws governing trans-Atlantic flights can together accommodate Linday's quest to be in court in time. If not, maybe the judge will relent, in which case Linday's father - who is reportedly in LA to plea with the judge to send his daughter to rehab, not prison - will have to bide his time.

 

[farou7a]

hahahah

OH my GOD.

she 'lost' her passport?

 

[Boomer]

"Lindsay Lohan

, who is required to attend a probation review hearing tomorrow in a Los Angeles court, has lost her passport in Cannes and may not make it back in time."

My translation: Lindsay Lohan (famous Princess of Entitlement) ditched her passport to buy several more days of partying on the Riviera and perhaps provide some sympathy when she eventually gets home and is arrested at LAX... "It wasn't my fault, anyone can lose their passport in the Mediterranean when they fall down several times on a yacht!! WAAAAAHHHAA!! Mommy- Help me!! "

 

[isa.b.elle.]

she has lost her passport?!!?!?!?
now she's really setting new standards for the term : HOPELESS

 

[shoesexy]

Her dog ate her homework ..... yeah, right.


I still bet the judge gives her more rope ...

 

[Boomer]

^ Yup...The judge may just say "Those damned French!! They hate all of our big movie stars!! blink They just love making a victim out of you, you poor girl...I'll bet some maid at the hotel stole it to sell on E Bay!! Don't worry, Lindsay, I'll have the FBI and the State Department look into it...Just chill out at Crown Bar and give me a call in a few months...BTW- great pictures in Us Weekly- you looked really sexy!! See you at Brad and Angelina's party next week!!" B)

 

[Jennika]

It’s Mean Girls all over again.

And it’s the ongoing saga of that skint.agg.scag Lindsay Lohan who insists on cocking up her life over and over again. She was supposed to get on a plane this morning from France to head back to LA for her DUI progress hearing. Yesterday they were floating around the excuse that she might not make it due to volcanic ash. Please. The ash is only affecting flights to the UK. France to Germany and then connecting to North America – at press time – is fine.

So we need a new bullsh-t reason. Because she’s still in Cannes. And TMZ reports that she’s lost her passport. She WILL miss the court appearance. Her lawyer explained that:

"I was on the phone with Lindsay's assistant the entire night and we're doing everything we can to resolve this issue and get her back to L.A. Lindsay is distraught because it was her intention to get back to L.A. today to do more alcohol education classes and appear in court tomorrow."

Was it really her intention?

Last night Lilo was at a party. At around 2am when she was dancing and flirting with Dominic Cooper, and eyewitnesses at the party say she certainly didn’t seem too “distraught” about her passport. When they mysteriously left together around 3am she absolutely didn’t seem too “distraught”. And when they returned and giggled and suggestively whispered with each other until well past 5am, “distraught” was the last word you’d use to describe her.

Save your f-cking lies for your mother.

This b*tch has no regard for authority, principle, no respect for anyone or anything beyond what SHE wants to do. You are welcome to continue to insist that this is sad smut. But there’s nothing sad about a crank twat who just can’t get her priorities straight because she’s SELFISH. Sad smut wasn’t the reason she was getting down with Dominic Reid. Sad smut isn’t the reason she’s here in the first place. She’s here because she’s an *******. And you know she will be lording this over Amanda Seyfried the first chance she gets. It’s who Lindsay is.

As for Dominic Cooper, I interviewed him this morning at 10:30am. He was managing rather well. Will fill you in on this shortly. Suffice to say, he’s still in Cannes. And so is Lindsay. And curiously enough, on the advance tip sheet for a party happening tomorrow night, her name was ON IT. So if she was supposed to be back in LA, how come someone told the party organizers that she’d be showing up?
http://www.laineygossip.com/Lindsay...or_court_hearing_19may10.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

 

[Boomer]

^ Simply amazing..If even half of the stories were true, it would still be awful...

 

[Jennika]

I Suffice to say, he’s still in Cannes. And so is Lindsay. And curiously enough, on the advance tip sheet for a party happening tomorrow night, her name was ON IT. So if she was supposed to be back in LA, how come someone told the party organizers that she’d be showing up?

see, I believe this to be true. Lainey is in Cannes right now and something like someone's name on a party list would be foolish to make up. And that more than anything shows that Lindsay clearly never had any intent to be at her hearing on time.

 

[Boomer]

I'm beginning to feel sorry for her lawyer!! Can you imagine having to go in to the judge over and over and try to explain Lindsay!!