The Mush Pit’s Bertie Brandes talks fashion fixes, beauty regimes and her brand new West End play David Mamet satire Speed-The-Plow with Tina Fey’s teen dream, Lindsay Lohan
She fits the bill pretty well doesn’t she? Wrapped in pink shearling, all freckles and the perfect pout. But as at home as Lindsay Lohan might be on the front of a magazine, there’s no question she’s got more going on than your average cover star. Since her days acting alongside herself in The Parent Trap, snogging Chad Michael Murray in Freaky Friday (eternally jealous) and playing Cady Heron in the ever-relevant Mean Girls, Lindsay has become something of an institution.
Predictably berated by the press for refusing to simply sit pretty, adored by fashion weeks and front rows the world over, and idolised by, well, us, Lohan rocketed into our hearts in an explosion of pre-teen movies and she never left. Ever since she taught Tyra Banks to love herself in Life Size, we knew she was on to something. A few days after her Wonderland shoot, we caught her on Jimmy Fallon having a bucket of ice tipped over her head wearing thigh-high leather boots which her publicist concurs were “probably Gucci”. Everything about Lohan is ridiculously glamorous and brilliant, and we’ve been hanging off her every word (outfit and, honestly, music video) since Hallie Parker pierced Annie’s ears with an apple and a needle way back in ‘98.
Luckily, we don’t have to dream of packing off to camp in order to feel close to Lohan anymore (it’s probably frowned upon for 24-year-olds to go anyway), this year she’s bringing Hollywood to us, by way of the Playhouse Theatre. Yep, Lohan’s set her sights on London (as if you didn’t already know) in order to play Karen in David Mamet’s brilliant Speed-The-Plow. Karen is a complex character, quick to be judged by the others yet slow to reveal her inner objective. There are obviously certain parallels, and Lohan’s eager to point them out. “This is a young girl who sets out for Hollywood and stumbles into something new, I can relate”. Speed-The-Plow seems to attract big names, the last time I saw it was at the Old Vic with Kevin Spacey and Jeff Goldblum. There’s something about how it both glamorises and undercuts Hollywood that must make it tantalising for anybody familiar with the industry. “I’ve been there, just in different ways” Lohan agrees, as though she’s ready to teach Karen a thing or two about dodgy producers. The role feels as though it was written with her in mind: a strong, determined woman hidden behind the façade of somebody perhaps a little out of her depth. Of Mamet, Lohan has nothing but praise: “He is a brilliant writer with so much conviction” and I suspect Mamet will be equally as enthralled. He’s not the only Mamet she’s keen on either, she’s a “big fan” of his daughter Zosia (AKA Shoshanna from Girls, AKA the virgin AKA the funniest one) too.
I wonder how terrifying it would be to walk out on stage and see father and daughter eagerly awaiting from the front row. Pretty terrifying I’d imagine, though nerves don’t seem to be a huge issue for Lohan, perhaps unsurprising for one of the most famous child stars on planet. Maybe nerves are a bit like puberty, totally hellish for a bit and then tossed to the back of your wardrobe like an old bra. “This is my life, it’s what I’ve known since I was three years old” explains Lohan – “It feeds my soul”. It’s easy to forget that she’s been dealing with the stress and exhaustion that accompanies her job for over two decades, and at the moment she seems revitalised by her new role. Every time Lohan threatens to give up acting for the quiet life, something draws her back in. In this case, it’s the brilliance of Mamet – but whatever it is, she consistently keeps her audience entranced. There is certainly something of those old Hollywood movie stars to her, something maddeningly compelling, and it’s no surprise that she cites Frances Farmer and Clara Bow as her dream roles.
I suppose, just like the legends of Hollywood must have known, when it comes to holding your nerve the trick is staying focused – something she doesn’t seem to have a problem with. I wonder (desperately hoping) if we’ll see her at London Fashion Week, but she’s not convinced. “I’m not sure, my only thoughts right now are on this play”. “Maybe on the weekend” she adds, though with a schedule as rigorous as the one she’s about to embark on, I’m not sure the once-notorious socialite will make it out far. Instead she’s prioritising “staying healthy, spiritual, happy and focused,” which all sounds rather grown-up and sensible. There’s no question fashion week will miss her if she decides to pass it up for a good sleep and a detox, though. Lohan styles herself most of the time, and she clearly knows her J-Brand from her Jeremy Scott. “Always Hermès” she replies when I ask what she loves to wear, which is amazing enough on its own, but is followed by “Karl Lagerfeld, Hedi Slimane, Miu Miu, Chloé and Harry Winston”. Yep, Rachel Zoe is probably quaking in her artfully distressed boots because here is an actress who clearly knows what she likes. She remembers the first time she felt like a million dollars as when she wore a “seven-carat cushion cut from Cartier” (which is a really, really, really sexy diamond for the uneducated among us) and confesses to having a wardrobe stuffed with “Isabel Marant, YSL and Chanel”. Her most hoarded item? “Leather jackets… or boots”. She’ll probably need a new pair of thigh-highs after Jimmy Fallon though, I think the last pair might be a bit soggy.
While she might be gearing up for one of the most rigorous acting experiences of her life, Lindsay’s not too busy to share beauty tips. “Sleep, drink water and meditate,” she advises. Oh, and “stay on a boat”, which might not be quite so easy when you live in north west London, but I suppose there’s always Camden Lock. For someone so comfortable on a red carpet, she certainly knows how to switch off, but maybe that’s natural when getting dressed up has been part of your job description for as long as you can remember. Not that she minds of course, I mean who would when they can say things like: “in The Parent Trap, I wore a specially made Chanel suit. I was 10.” And with that, the legend of Lindsay Lohan lives on.
