Beauty conventions are shifting, and ASHLEY GRAHAM couldn’t be happier. The model explains why she is on a mission to revolutionize our relationship with the mirror.
“My very first modeling shot was in a bra, when I was 12 years old. My mom had to sign a waiver that they would airbrush my nipples out. I was a tomboy and played a lot of basketball, but I was also the sort of kid that you had to keep motivated. My parents would ask, ‘Don’t you want to play sports, Ashley? Don’t you want to be in the theater?’ And I just said, ‘No, no, no.’ Then modeling came along and stuck, because here was something I was good at. Even though it was an outer, image-based thing, which wasn’t really me, it was also a personality thing and that was me.
My first agency was Wilhelmina; in high school I’d fly to Germany, London and New York. I was the first model for J.Lo’s plus-size clothing range. I was a US size 10 When I was 15 I signed with Ford Models, where I stayed until I was 25. They told me I was ‘plus size’, but that didn’t mean anything to me: I’ve always been tall with bigger thighs and bigger breasts. I was regularly told I wasn’t an ‘editorial’ girl until I went to IMG. Since I moved there a year ago, it’s been one editorial after the other: Vogue, Elle, Love...
My weight was never an issue for me until I moved to New York on my own at 17 and gained 20-25lbs; I went up to a US 18. It didn’t affect my work – I still got plenty of bookings – but I didn’t feel good, so I tried to find a balance. Now I’m a US 14, a size I’ve maintained for the past eight years. It’s not about conforming; it’s a size I feel good at. I am always being asked to gain or lose weight, but I am at a point now where I don’t care anymore. I love my body, I love my super-hourglass shape and I love showing it off.
My mom is a very encouraging woman. My whole life she told me, ‘You have to love who you are. You have an amazing personality, you have a great heart. Just be who you are.’ And it’s worked. Between being in the fashion industry and moving to New York at such a young age, I had to build a thick skin right away. But now, nothing intimidates me. I’m so confident that I feel like I can take over the world. I’m not making this up: I won’t suddenly lose 30lbs and tell you how much happier I am. True, I didn’t like my body when I gained a lot of weight. I was trying to like it – when you are plus size, you have to embrace your curves and accept your rolls. I have rolls now and I won’t airbrush them out on Instagram, but I was unhealthy then. I could feel it in my skin. And it was even harder to find clothes. I don’t think every store or designer has to make plus-size pieces, but I think if we get the majority on board to start thinking of a normal woman’s body, that’s where the change is going to be.
Now, I play with like 10-15lbs, which sounds like a lot to some people but that’s just my body, because I’m tall and thickset. But I think that you can be healthy at any size and my goal is to help and educate women on that. It doesn’t matter if you’re a size 2 or 22, you can be healthy as long as you’re taking care of your body, working out, and telling yourself ‘I love you’ instead of taking in the negativity of beauty standards.
You might say it’s easy for a model to feel good about herself, that laying claim to a kind of beauty makes feeling confident simple. But I think being told I was beautiful by my mom my whole life made the difference.
Of course, sitting in a makeup chair every day with people saying, ‘Oh, you are so pretty’, will help. But when you are told something your whole life the instinct is to believe it. And I’ve never felt ugly, even when I was called a ‘fat model’ in middle school. My mom never said, ‘I feel so ugly’, she never looked at her face and said, ‘I need a lift.’ I never saw her looking at herself negatively and therefore I never looked at myself that way.
But some people aren’t as lucky to have a mother like mine, which is why we need curvy role models. I was told to look up to Marilyn Monroe and J.Lo, because those were the only two curvy women considered beautiful. We need role models for young girls who say, ‘Embrace your curves. Who cares that your body isn’t perfect?’ There’s too much anorexia, obesity and suicide in this generation and nobody is addressing the issue. Young girls don’t have much to look at, curvy women are not on covers of magazines, they’re not talked about on social media as much as other celebrities. Jennifer Lawrence is the media’s poster girl for curves – she’s tiny.
There needs to be more education in schools, because that’s where eating disorders start. It’s not just about being healthy; it’s also about loving who you are. If you don’t love who you are, you are never going to feel 100 percent satisfied in life. It all starts with you. If you don’t love you, nobody else is going to be able to.
I think people need a purpose and my purpose is helping women who don’t love their bodies to embrace them. I look at myself naked in the mirror and say, ‘You know what, awkward butt shape? You’re not gonna get higher or rounder but it’s OK, because I’ve got Spanx for you.’ Your words have so much power. Every day, if you tell yourself ‘I love you’, if you give yourself one word of validation, it will change your mind. You might even start crying. I’ve done that before, especially in my weakest moments. And then you start to really figure out what the deeper issue is: is it your body, your job, your relationship?
Having a purpose in life has made me feel like I am meant to be here. I’m meant to spread the word and change beauty and body standards in the fashion industry. And even outside the industry, in my whole community. A year and a half ago, I started a group called ALDA – it means ‘wave’ in Icelandic – with four other plus-size models. We go to schools to talk about body image acceptance, the UN wants us to do a panel discussion... Things are happening, it’s exciting. Now is the time: people want to know about curvy women. We are in the middle of a great conversation, and we still have years before we hit the peak, but this is the beginning of a great adventure that is going to go on and on, I really believe that. Curves are here to stay.”
. Gorgeous face & endearing smile
