Keeping up with Peaches

[Kenysha75]

Eli Roth And Peaches Geldof?!

Just when I was about to throw Eli Roth a compliment for looking sessy (aka like a waiter at a 1920s-themed murder mystery party) at the Oscars last night, I see pictures of him holding hands with Peaches fuc*ing Geldof! If you have no idea who Peaches Geldof is, just stick your finger up your b-hole, pull it out, smell it, and that pretty much sums her up.

Did Eli get the memo that Peaches is the worst?! I know Eli Roth gets hard for gore and horror, but this is ridiculous! I can't look at you anymore, Eli.
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[Kenysha75]

Just A Regular Night In The Life Of Peaches Geldof March 26th 2010

What better way to start your weekend than with a touching love story starring the rotten fruit of the UK's eye Peaches Geldof!

Over on Reddit (via Why We Protest), someone asked the question "What's your most WTF one night stand?" User Thatcoolguyben pretty much shut everyone's story down with his tale of the night he allegedly spent with (and in) Peaches Geldof! And he has proof in the form of a few pictures.

It's a long, winding, dirty journey through the sewer pipes which eventually ends in a puddle of vomit on the floor of a sauna in the Scientology Center. Glib.

If you don't have the time or the stomach for it right now, let me give you the 10-second version. Dude claims he met Peaches Geldof at a friend's apartment, ***EDIT*** did sex with her, passed out and woke up barfing all of his Thetans out in a sauna at the Scientology Center. The end. This was probably one of Peaches' tamer nights.

The complete story from the dude's fingertips is after the jump. There's also a couple of NSFW pictures of Peaches looking like the star of one of Vanilla Gorilla's wet dreams. JUMP!

Last Thanksgiving I was staying at a friends house for a few days before a trip to South America. I'd been spending most the time on the couch for the three days I was at the house. My friend lived with her boyfriend and one other girl who was "recording" her "album." I would occasionally see this girl leaving early in the morning and coming back late at night while I was on the couch. On my final day at the house, Thanksgiving day, the girl returns at about 2:30am (Thanksgiving festivities would start in a few hours.) I'd kicked back a few beers already and was having fun sitting watching TV. She comes in and pauses for a moment looking at me. She says "have you been living here the whole time I have?" I laughed and thought this question strange, she was showing how oblivious she was to the world. I said that I had only been at the house for 2 days. She sits next to me and we begin talking about tattoos, which both of us have a good amount of. She had a cute English accent and wasn't bad looking at all. The tattoo discussion leads to us deciding we should get each others names tattooed on each other. At 3am I grab my friends car keys, and head out. We drive all over Hollywood looking for a tattoo parlor, with no luck. ***EDIT** She told me she had a *********she brought with her from the UK and asked me if I was game. I was so the hunt began.

We drove all around LA looking for the supplies we needed. ***EDIT*** We stop at a Dennys, asking them for a stack of lemons. Once again we got strange looks but it worked. We get back to the house, where I was promptly yelled at for stealing my friends car, and getting warned what I was about to get myself into. Once all the commotion settles down, we go to the girls room and rig up. At about 5am I was high as a kite and we start to watch a movie. Things get hot and heavy and before I know it we're naked. ***EDIT***

This is where things get weird. Close to 8am she starts saying how someone was coming to pick her up. We'd continued to use all night so I was quite foggy about the happenings. I faintly remember her asking me for a ride and me driving her somewhere. I awoke at about 1pm in a sauna, throwing up all over the place. I started freaking out. I look around and see her on an exercise machine outside the room, looking in about the same shape as me. I get out of the room and people come past me cleaning the puke like it was nothing to them. I'm standing in the room groggy, in a speedo, and confused as hell. I look around and read some stuff realizing I'm in the Celebrity Scientology Center in LA. This girl ended up being a hardcore Scientologist and a D-List celebrity, and we were doing a process called Purif. I showered, got my clothes on, got her, and drove back to my friends, nodding out and puking the whole way.

Needless to say when I got back my friend and her boyfriend were pissed. I had "ruined" Thanksgiving. I sluggishly passed the day along and at 11pm went to LAX and flew to South America. Not until days later when I looked through my camera of the pictures of that night did I fully realize everything.

***EDIT***
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[ponytrot]

eww.

Nasty.

 

[The_Ida]

Uhmmm...

 

[Scott]

yeah she is some piece of work...or piece of something else,rather :whistle:

remember that story a couple years ago when she visited the shop of Mei Hui Liu's reworked/recycled vintage 'Victim' line and stole a few thousand £ worth of clothes. she's an idiot and obviously quite spoiled. and after seeing more and more images of her.....quite the trashy one as well.

 

[Kenysha75]

No Smack For Peaches

Sir Bob Geldof's precious daughter Peaches Geldof is apparently fuming mad (smells like canned apricots burning on top of compost filled with cat shi*) over the allegations that she took part ***EDIT*** which ended with a vomit party at the Scientology Center in Hollywood.

The story and pictures from Reddit user ThatcoolguyBen (Government name: Ben Mills) made the rounds yesterday, and Peaches lawyer is denying parts of it. Specifically, Peaches is denying that she got down with ***EDIT***. Peaches lawyer issued this statement:

"The allegations that our client was carrying and injecting heroin are denied, our client having consumed alcohol with the other individual leading to the 'highs' described and portrayed in the photographs. The evident unreliability of the source emerges from the also fictitious description of their trip to a Scientology center . . . Nobody who is not a member of that organization is permitted into such buildings."

***EDIT***

And here's a little video of Peaches Geldof being extra annoying when talking about Scientology. Grab a lemon ***EDIT*** before watching:

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[Kenysha75]

March 29th 2010 Peaches Has Been Canned

Peaches Geldof is no longer the face and body of Miss Ultimo lingerie after they pink-slipped her as* this morning. A rep for Ultimo says that they have chosen to distance themselves from her following the allegations that ***EDIT***. Ultimo had this to say for themselves:

"We have been in meetings all morning with regards to the stories that have surfaced over the weekend about Peaches and unfortunately we have no option but to terminate her contract.

Miss Ultimo is a brand geared towards a young female audience and as a company we have a social responsibility to ensure we are promoting only positive role models that young women can aspire to.

We are in the process of removing Peaches from the website and we are working with Debenhams to remove her visuals form all Miss Ultimo shops and window displays throughout the UK."

***EDIT***The clueless hos at Ultimo are probably going to replace Peaches with the innocent beauty known as Bombshell McGee.
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[Kenysha75]

Eli Roth Is Going To Tell Your Mom! April 3rd 2010

Eli Roth must be addicted in a bad way to the taste of Peaches Geldof's rotten compote, because he has written a creepafied open letter on his MySpace page to the mother of Ben Mills, the Reddit user who posted about ***EDIT*** and bang with Peaches last November.

Instead of spreading an entire tub of Desitin on his hurt butt, Eli dug up shi* from Ben's past (fair enough) and threw it at Mrs. Mills. Not only did Eli pretty much call Mrs. Mills a shi* mother, but he also posted the links to Ben's mother's Facebook and Twitter pages. Stalking your mom and making her cry: Eli has an app for that!

That's right. Don't fuc* with Eli's piece of the moment or tattle on you to your mom. The open letter is after the jump. Yes, this pathetic shi* is real. JUMP!

A letter to Meredith Bluett-Mills, mother of "thatcoolguyben."

April 2nd, 2010

To: Meredith Bluett-Mills

From: Eli Roth

Re: Your son Ben

Dear Meredith,

You don't know me, but my name is Eli Roth, and I am the boyfriend of a young woman named Peaches Geldof. Her name might ring a bell, as your son Ben recently wrote a sick, hurtful story about her that is now causing tremendous damage. If you do know Peaches, like many in America you probably know her from the gossip blogs as the daughter of Sir Bob Geldof. However, in the United Kingdom people have been reading her newspaper columns and magazine articles since the time she began writing professionally at age 13. If you lived in England you'd also know her as not just a television presenter and fashion model, but you might have seen one of her three documentaries that aired on British television, the first of which she produced when she was 15 years old. I realize this might be difficult for you to comprehend, as your 23 year old son Ben was expelled from Drew University and so far as I can tell makes a living as an "artist", but Peaches accomplished all of this before the age of 21. Perhaps a need for attention at any cost drove Ben to write such a destructive story, but upon closer examination, I believe there is something much darker at work with your son.....

Your son Ben appears to have a deeply troubled past with women, as internet searches show he was accused of holding a girl hostage at knifepoint in a dorm room, and was then later was accused of witness tampering in the ensuing trial. Whether you choose to believe it or not, your son Ben is a liar. There are photos of Ben drunk with Peaches, and he concocted a racy story which involved them ***EDIT***. I know you are quite familiar with how young adults can be irresponsible when alcohol is involved, as your son Jacob, who is the same age as Peaches, was once arrested for public drunkenness (see #3148). ***EDIT*** and then posted topless photos of them together as "proof," and instantly his story was everywhere.

At first Peaches and I thought nothing of the posting - the story was simply too preposterous. Your son's fairy tale culminates with him dazed and vomiting in a sauna at the Scientology Celebrity center, a place notoriously so high security that no non-member would ever be admitted and left alone, let alone a strung out one. But look closely at the specifics of your son's story: he did not pick a ***EDIT***. Why? Because not only has Peaches openly talked about drug use in her past, her mother tragically died from a ****** overdose when Peaches was young. Ben's story becomes much more salacious if he paints Peaches as heading down a similar path. Peaches does not have a squeaky clean image by any means, in fact, she's known for being brutally honest and open about her past mistakes in life. But she has also worked hard to grow up and overcome her troubled past, and is now drug free. Your son took details from Peaches teenage tabloid stories to make the story more believable, no matter how contrary they are to who she is today. Ben used the most painful events from someone's past to make himself famous, and it worked. It's sociopathic. Imagine if I had a photo of Ben with a knife next to a girl and after some internet research posted a story that he had held yet another girl hostage at knifepoint? What if there were new photos of your son Jacob drunk and someone made up a story about how he was drunk in public again, and the press painted him as an alcoholic? Peaches has worked hard to put her mistakes behind her and show she has grown up, and was doing quite well until this insane story came along, and the British press spun it into front page news. Peaches lawyer immediately came out with a statement categorically denying the hero*n accusations, but it was too late, your son had already done the damage.

Your son did not just post a false d*ug story on a message board. He took a bright, intelligent, incredibly creative young writer and damaged her ability to work until people forget about this or dismiss it as nonsense. Not only has your son's horrible lies now painted Peaches as "dangerous" to many who would potentially hire her, but companies like Ultimo Underwear are using this "scandal" as a reason to fire Peaches by saying that she is not a role model for young girls. And for what? Some psychotic story your son made up that people were all too ready to believe because it fell in line with stories from the past. Stories your son clearly read before he made up that post. He knew exactly what he was writing, the details were far too calculated. And that made it all the more destructive. These stories also send a dangerous message to anyone who has ever made a mistake, that no matter how you change someone can make up a sick story about you and everyone will revert to the worst image of your past.

The instantaneous connectivity of the internet spread this venom to newspapers all over the world, so now I am hoping this letter reaches you through the same medium. The night Ben posted the photos a mutual acquaintance called him and asked him to take down the photos and the story, and Ben's response was "fuc* off," so clearly he was not bothered by what he did at the time. Hopefully someone will notify you through by your Facebook page, your son Jacob's Facebook page, through your daughter Gabriella at Tulane, your twitter page, Jacob's twitter page, or one of your Twitter followers, and my words will ultimately reach you. I would send a copy to your at your Palo Alto address that I got from Jacob's arrest on the internet, but I don't know if you reside at that residence anymore. I would even ask the blogs and newspapers who were more than happy to run rampant with Ben's insane story to reprint my letter in its entirety in the hopes you see it. Maybe by examining the person your son hurt, he would attempt to be more like Peaches and become an artist beyond hanging himself from meat hooks. Ben writes such creative fiction, he could ask Peaches how she got her book deal. Or perhaps like Peaches he could write for newspapers and magazines published around the globe, although even that's getting difficult for Peaches now that your son has painted her as trouble with a hurtful story fabricated around details from a painful past. I hope you or your other children can help Ben realize the damage he has caused to (yet another?) young woman, and teach him how to behave like a human being. Although considering Ben's past history and recent actions, your record as a mother appears spotty at best. Perhaps you are the source of his anger, in which case I hope you both are able to find happiness without damaging other people's lives.

Sincerely,

Eli Roth

Los Angeles, California
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[Jenna-maria]

well, Peaches is no angel. she makes her choices, she goes with random men, she pose without clothes...I dont understand why Eli wrote that letter, it is Peaches who did her choice. I think no one should keep her safe, she should just face problems she have made.

 

[Les_Sucettes]

Is that letter an April's fools joke? I knew Eli Roth was a ridiculous individual, but that goes off the scale. They are perfect, but perfect for each other. Both charmless AND stupid. A match made in Heaven.

And by the way Roth, i live in the UK and i also only Know her as the talentless daughter of Geldof, anything she ever did professionally is directly connected to the fact that she's the fruit of someone's loins.

 

[dajrekshn]

the most fascinating person regarding peaches's life is,imo, her father. he's fascinating, just fascinating.

 

[clocked]

WHAT? sh*t OFF!!!!!

it's not that i even particularly like him. this is just SO random. and she's so nasty. man, i need to go wash my hands..

 

[girlalamode]

Eli Roth And Peaches Geldof?!

If you have no idea who Peaches Geldof is, just stick your finger up your b-hole, pull it out, smell it, and that pretty much sums her up.

I just love your description of Peaches
Made me laugh so hard!

 

[mamasarollingsto]

i love how twisted celebrities can be. whether the full story is true or not, there are naked photos of her with the guy, yet somehow she manages to get her boyfriend to defend her?!

 

[Over the Sea]

she makes me sad and her new boyfriend creeps me out! how old is he, like 40?!?!

 

[ckashie]

Judging by the movies he makes, Eli Roth's mother didn't do a stellar job raising him to respect women either.

 

[McClaire]

she makes me sad and her new boyfriend creeps me out! how old is he, like 40?!?!

He's 37 and she's just gross and infested.

 

[Kenysha75]

What A Beautiful Couple....

And I'm not referring to Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth. There's a good reason for why Eli Roth looks like a deer caught in a hairy no-no. The full picture from Cobrasnake (via ONTD) is after the jump. It's not safe for work or if you're eating something peanut butter-related. Cover your eyes, hold on to your partner's hand and JUMP!

BAM! Behold Peaches Geldof trying to win a pose-off with the furriest pair of nalgas in all the forest at Jeremy Scott's Coachella toga party this past weekend. Peaches tried to her best, but the second coming of Robin Williams' as* beat her. That as* is seriously some Berenstain Bears Got Caught With Its Hand In The Caca Jar shi*! As*hole looking like a guinea pig with a perm closing its eyes..... Since we can't get enough of gold furry creatures that growl when you pet them, let's go in for a closer look:

I will say that gold-covered as* pubes really do compliment Peaches' skin. And here's one of Peaches with Eli:

Yeah, after seeing her with Eli, Peaches really does look better next to a field of as* hairs. I'll give her that. More pictures at Cobrasnake if you dare or care.
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[McClaire]

Trash begets trash.

 

[The_Ida]

My eyes are bleeding. Have decided that I do not want to keep up with Peaches. Ever.