Keeping up with Peaches

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I See What Peaches Geldof Is Trying To Do Here

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The rotten lump of stupid that is Peaches Geldof wants you to think she's trying to be ironic and edgy by wearing Jesse James' favorite nightshirt, but I know what she's really doing. That nasty piece of trash is trying to divert your attention from her HOTTER and SESSIER friend. b*tch failed as usual.

Even though Peaches' ugly as* outfit is barfing the words "LOOK AT ME!" over and over again, she still looks like a dusty tumbleweed next to that Asian sex ball. It's as if Pat and Grandma Kim from All-American Girl had a secret love child. Giddyup! Giddyup!

Here's more of Peaches and her friends begging for an as* whoopin' on the streets of Los Angeles yesterday. Even the deformed cave cannibals from The Hills Have Eyes wouldn't eat their ***es. You know, because they don't attack their own.

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She is so horrible. I can't understand how she thinks wearing that shirt is somehow hip or whatever. Honestly, she's dressed like an USA skinhead and if she wasn't some rich kid from England trying to be cool, a lot of people on the street would think of her as white trash.
 
The Oldest Trick In The Fame wh*re Book

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Fire up the "L. Ron Hubbard wedding minister" hologram, tell Suri Cruise to pull out her barley girl dress, and decorate the space car with cans, because there's going to be a great big Scientology wedding (but probably not). Bruised Peaches Geldof and her boyfriend Eli Roth recently celebrated the impossible: SIX LONG MONTHS TOGETHER. It's like celebrating an extra chunky skidmark on your favorite chonies that just can't be scrubbed out. YAY! And here we thought that this beautiful union would end as soon as the drugs evaporated from Eli's system. That trip keeps trippin'.

Peaches and Eli continued the celebrations last night by having dinner at The Ivy in London. Not only did Peaches wear a coat made from Eli's freshly plucked butt hairs, but she also wore some kind of ring on THAT FINGER. A 14k publicity wh*re ring whose sparkles just scream "WRITE ABOUT ME!!!!" And here I am doing it.

Now I'm not saying that Eli didn't propose to Peaches (all-you-can pump as* sex is a major selling point for marriage), but I am saying that the ring is most likely her promise to fame to keep fuc*ing it until death (or the loss of all her Twitter followers) do them part!
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good, now she can be married and divorced twice before she hits 22
 
Oh dear, what was she thinking. I know people younger then her who have had longer relationships and managed not to get married!
 
Shes so stupid for getting engaged again, obviously it won't turn out well anyway. And seriously why would she dye her hair blonde after a lot of it has fallen out and is brittle?
 
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