Outspoken, determined and utterly compelling: when Ruth Wilson talks, you listen. The star of The Affair discusses sex, being on stage and celebrating women of uniqueness with Ajesh Patalay.
“I go where I can find interesting, complicated, brilliant women,” says Ruth Wilson, who has played her share of them on stage and screen, including grief-stricken waitress Alison in Showtime’s The Affair.
But she isn’t just talking about the fictional kind. Like many people right now, Wilson is rooting for strong women everywhere. “In the last few years,” she says, “it’s been encouraging to hear more female voices speaking out about things that have been entrenched behavior for a long time. There’s been an opportunity for women to say ‘no’, in a very loud way, to say it’s not acceptable any more.
“And we’ve got Angela Merkel, Theresa May, Nicola Sturgeon – all these amazing women in positions of power [who] got there through talent, hard work and audacity. It’s really inspirational. They’re women of uniqueness. Just seeing them owning it… It’s tumultuous.”
Believe it or not, two minutes previously, we had been talking about trousers. “I like tailoring; I love a bit of trouser,” Wilson had said approvingly of her clothing rail for The Edit’s shoot, sitting down for tea at the Mondrian hotel in London. Then, boom, female empowerment. How did that happen? Well, the actress had just been discussing it with James Bond producer Barbara Broccoli, who was leaving the table as I arrived, so the topic was front of mind. “I was talking to Barbara about how we should celebrate uniqueness, certainly [among] women, rather than [making them] conform to what everyone else is,” says Wilson. “Being an actress, people want to put you in a box, to fit the mold, to wear the same outfits. It’s hard to stand out.”
This 35-year-old Brit has, however, managed to do precisely that, inhabiting a restless, often dangerous allure in roles that have won her awards, acclaim, and a cult following for her breakout performance as sociopath Alice in Bbc’s Luther – a character, says Wilson, “so delicious, baddy and fun, with language like Hannibal Lecter’s”, that it continues to set the bar for the parts she chooses.
The latest role to meet that criteria has been Hedda Gabler, in the critically lauded, Ivo van Hove-directed production at London’s National Theatre. Taking on Henrik Ibsen’s protofeminist heroine stirred up a lot in Wilson. “When we performed during the Women’s March, it felt electric,” she recalls. “It was a special day. If I wasn’t [on stage], I would have marched. Then I thought, what we’re doing on stage feels incredibly pertinent. At the end [of the performance], I said, ‘Thousands of people are protesting across the globe today. This play was written 125 years ago and it feels as relevant as ever.’” It fed her ambition to do work that resonates. “There’s a responsibility as an actress to reflect women properly. That’s important.”
Growing up in Surrey, the younger sister to three rugby-playing brothers, Wilson talks of being “a very emotional kid” who used to “throw myself around the room to music, expressively dancing”. But she always had a strong sense of civic duty. “When I was about 10 years old at junior school, there was no sex education. I think my parents gave me a book about sex, which I took to school, and that was it. I remember talking to my dad, who was chairman of the governors, saying we needed sex education. I just had the feeling that I should know this stuff and they should teach it. I have been pursuing little fights [like that] all my life.”
As a young actress, she had the same instincts. “About eight years ago, I was newly into the industry and I wanted to set up a festival for short films, written and directed by women,” she says. “I wanted to improve the situation, to get more voices and allow women to express themselves.” Sadly, her plans floundered. “I was a bit naive. I didn’t know many people and didn’t have weight behind me. Maybe I could do it now.”
She’s learned to pick her battles. In The Affair’s first season, for instance, for which she won a Golden Globe, Wilson says she really defined the character of Alison. “She suffered a major grief,” she explains. “It was important to serve that properly, to try to understand what it’s like to lose a child, so I was intent that that [grief] was going to shape who she is. It can’t just be said early on and forgotten. Since then, the show has become more plot-driven.” I ask how much control she has over her character’s arc. “You don’t have much,” she admits.
She’d love more scenes with the show’s other female lead, Maura Tierney, but that relationship – between the ex-wife and second wife of the male lead (Dominic West) – hasn’t been explored much. “I love playing with Maura, because she’s funny, brilliant and surprising. But last season, we had one scene [together],” says Wilson. “It’s sort of outrageous. I think there is a lot to excavate in that [relationship]. They could get on really well, you don’t know.”
When it comes to The Affair’s sex scenes, of which there are plenty, she says you have to trust your instinct about what you feel is right and wrong in the moment. “It’s hard because there is so much pressure, including on yourself. But there are times when I have to say, I’m not happy doing that anymore. It’s about understanding and trusting yourself, then standing up for yourself.”
You sense being a jobbing actress in Hollywood, let alone one as bullish as Wilson, can be isolating. “I don’t really have anyone,” she says, when I ask who she turns to for advice. “I don’t have a mentor; I don’t hang out with actors. My dad is great; I phone him up and he says, ‘Don’t do anything you don’t need to.’ But no one in my family has [acted], so I’ve had to carve my own path.
“Plus, being an actress is such a transient job. My friends from university have straightforward lives. I keep thinking I wish [I had that], then think I can’t bear the idea of a ‘normal’ life. Some girls imagine what their wedding will be like, how many kids they’ll have – that didn’t seem interesting to me. My parents are happily married, so I see the value in it, but I’m not sure I could live like they live. I’ve learned to be better on my own because I’m on my own a lot.”
With Hedda Gabler over and the new season of The Affair not shooting until August, Wilson is looking forward to indulging other passions. Like furnishing her new flat in London’s Southwark (“I’m looking at Pinterest a lot”) and traveling (“Maybe Japan, Burma. I want to get inspired again”). Most of all, she’s itching to collaborate with people from other disciplines: dancers, musicians, artists.
“That’s where you learn a lot,” she says, lighting up, “when you’re out of your comfort zone. No airs or graces, no one getting you coffee every two minutes. Back to using your brain and your creativity, scrabbling around the floor, devising something.” Back to throwing herself around the room to music, like that little girl in Surrey, having the time of her life.
See Wilson next in How to Talk to Girls at Parties this fall. Season 4 of The Affair will return on Showtime.