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BBC News
Ten fashion tips for the unfashionable
Implausible styles worn by impossibly-skinny models - it must be London Fashion Week. But as the catwalks are dismantled, here's a rundown of the latest fashion indicators which have emerged over the past few days.
You might be feeling the chill this week and digging out your chunky-knit jumper, but the fashion world is looking ahead to next year's spring-summer collections.
While we hardly saw enough sunshine this year to bother taking off our winter coats, designers' thoughts are already on what we will be wearing next year when we prepare to peel off the layers.
So if you can't see beyond the more outlandish offerings on show to decode the coming trends, here are some key themes which will be hard to avoid.
1. The waist is in. Forget baggy, anything that accentuates that clinched-in look is a must. From belted jackets to hip-hugging pencil skirts, it's time to go tight again. If you can throw in a bit of tweed, all the better. Just take inspiration from Miss Jean Brodie.
2. It's time to start raising your trouser length, as jodhpurs and knickerbockers are making a comeback. Think gymkhanas and highwaymen. And what might those knickerbockers be made of? Why, tweed, leather and suede of course. But if you are feeling brave they were spotted in pink on one catwalk.
3. The decade de jour with fashionistas is the 1970s. Fashion ploughs through revivals at an alarming rate, so skip forward three decades and start dressing like one of Charlie's Angels to be cool next spring. We're talking big voluminous sleeves on chiffon and silk dresses.
4. Get into green. It's the new black and it's everywhere. Don't worry about looking like one of Robin and his merry men - they're the inspiration - just make sure you have green in your wardrobe somewhere.
5. Get sewing on the sequins and put them on anything you can. From sportswear to kaftans and from belts to boots, sequins adorned them all on the catwalks. Of course, if you want to blow the budget you could go for the Julien Macdonald take on the trend - a shimmering 1930s-style dress of silver sequins, with £2m worth of diamonds sewn onto the shoulder for that extra sparkle.
6. Next year's skirts are more forgiving to those with circumferentially-challenged legs. The move is away from the mini to an altogether longer look. The wraparound will see a comeback - as will lots of frilly petticoats. Granny will be delighted.
7. Spandau Ballet fans should dig out cast-offs consigned to the attic. Frills are back and blouses will be floaty and elegant. Not thrilled at the prospect? Well they can hide a multitude of sins. A frilled cami is a flirty little number and perfect for concealing a washboard-flat chest, while a frilly shift dress gives an impression of curves without revealing the belly that may also lurk beneath.
8. Designers are going heavy on metal. Don't worry, it doesn't mean you have to start growing your hair long and start listening to AC/DC. Metallic fabric has blazed a trail on the catwalk and has been hammered into beautiful figure-hugging clothes. The Cyberman lives.
9. Crochet is having a revival in everything from ponchos to cardigans and hats. You'd be well advised to use those dark winter evenings to learn a new skill and brighten up your spring wardrobe.
10. Don't forget the accessories to finish off the look. Over-sized pendants, wide leather belts and vertiginous wedge-heeled sandals have been on display at the fashion shows. Just watch out for uneven pavements or you'll be asked if you enjoyed your trip.