Thought I'd bring this thread back up: 
I lasciviously enjoy removing Birkenstocks that attractive-toed young party hopping coquettes like drinking Paris Latsis' milk bottle comprised of sharp little blue pills that taste sour because Karl Lagerfeld spat gel-like marbles, so glistening and tasteless, erotically from his lower mandible, before seductively hoovering voluptuous marbles of gel-like hyphenated-fun into pert little sections, whilst gyrating around a filthy-cute piece of rather-old astro-turf, ravishingly tasty because boys like chicks melting over astro-turf during rabid cow infested rodeos lasting ages prior to desensitized electroshock therapy involving miniscule insertions of phosphorescent diptyque candles within reason-able timeframes, hereto forth revolving around antidisestablishmentarianism or whatever comes first to cretins assassinating stinky cheese, but causing considerable molten damage within scrotum tissue of festering scabs that leak everywhere and strongly resemble K-Fed licking cheetos crumbs and sneezing girls off, while Brittney staggers to the toilet where she sat crosslegged with her boyfriend whilst eating squid with dobermans who skipped cheerfully backwards towards the penthouse brothel with lemurs dancing with fairies drinking absinthe coupled him beside the table where they rode cowboys with grenades and beer steins when suddenly a crazy wombat, foaming kool-aid, burst into song even though they were encased in a bottle of lumpy lemonade which tastes acidic and smells like gasoline and was shaken-not-stirred with horrendous popped pimples which left scars all over which hurt like hell because they were entranced with a special razorblade soaked in Donatella Versace's saliva completed the disgusting array of Dooney purses lined up in a row with LSD and pesticide, bouncing gleefully beside ants with huge fat welts seeping liquid intestines smearing green sludge throughout their bodies leaking delightful juice all over the neck of the elegant alligator bag inside Eminem's white baggy rear end which disgusted Jessica Simpson who farted on the pool which overflowed with poop and turtles which she gagged and choked on the toilet plunger that stuck tightly to her collagen-enhanced lips, protruding grotesquely upward from her big butt that jiggled nauseatingly with flubber that bubbled like Moet with fire in the pants who jumped in fright and screamed like a cheap wh*re with broken garters who veered wildly across the hotel room and ran into George Bush darted quickly behind Hilary Clinton who then snorted out Bill's cigar to Nick Lachey who sucked greedily on lollipops covered with tapioca and last night's bloody snot from the fight he got into with Liza Minelli, who began to eat grass along with daisies and frog's legs but then stopped and fired a warning shot that was heard by a forgotten colony of dwarves that survives soley by injecting heroin into their enlarged noses that dribbled with mucus and blood then they started to bite the bums of the Backstreet Boys and which they screamed with laughter and had an asthma attack, waxing their armpits and eating their boogies and smacking their lips until dawn when FTV shows Gucci with M-A-C and Calvin Klein began to sing "Babaloo" and karaoke in Donna Karan's swimming pool which was the color of dried blood coupled with Paris Hilton's lipgloss and Mary Kate Olsen's toes which where curled menacingly around Ashley's ears - from which drooped the most exquisite chandelier earrings made with blue bubblegum, bloodied tampons, fossilised egg-mayo salad, and other such delicacies that I would die for but my extreme belief in Uggs and leggings was to much for Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise when they had their alien child who threw up other aliens that loves puppies which they killed and cooked, seasoned with a secret blend of boogers and poo, laced with orange juice and a bottle of tabasco which ho's and homeboys enjoy to drink until it got stolen by 'Lil Kim after her prison cell was set on fire by homeless fashionistas craving molasses candies and skinny jeans and were singing Popozao and dancing around the fire but the flame caught his adams apple and he started to sing Mary Had A Little Lamb when he heard a loud fart that came from Hilary Swank who punched the lights out of him when suddenly his cell phone rings and she plunged him to the ground using her Manolo Blahniks and strangled her own brother who has been using her for sex drugs rock & roll and playing Red Rover with Paris Hilton who bought a pooper scooper and a vibrator that resembled the face of Elvis and then became cold when she realised that Joan Rivers was made to dance for the other lady who was wearing a cowgirl costume and balancing sticks on her nose with poop hanging out of her nostrils that trembled with cat food and salmon that a hobo gave them out of his welfare rations enough money to buy a box full of black g-strings which usually were a size XL and used gisele's ipex bra to hold water bottles and plastic spoons along with a burger and indigestible raw meat which smelled like rotten potatoes and boiled tomato juice, but not as foul as Lindsay's armpits which stunk like curried cauliflower and rotten milk, and then they decided to eat some head cheese and listen to The Backstreet Boys who sound like fingernails on a chalkboard which made Vanilla Ice want to marry them so that he could punish them by dressing their hair like Tara Reid and cover them in radishes while Lassie bit her ankles and gnawed on her left earlobe and ripped her shirt which made Judge Judy finally smile and say "do you rember when we kissed?" "No, I don't" but she really did and shook her head whilst slowly moving foward towards the door, the out of the blue appeared Paula Abdul she decided to hump all the American Idols Michael Jackson impersonators who sneezed out chunks of their plastic nasal cavities, whilst humming the theme song to The Cosby Show and chewing laxatives that tasted like Jack Daniels and Prada socks she took away from Nicole Richie who finally started to eat normal food again rather than playing up anorexia and using her friends as shark bait instead of a salad with ranch dressing topped with one piece of grated rubber coupled with haggis-flavoured condom reduction and sweetened with sugar and toilet cleaning fluid that tasted sour and made her bite her tongue after she had already bit her tongue and it split into 17 pieces that dissolved into thousands of tiny little sugary Harajuku Girls who ate spicy Cajun food that I made using pig's knuckles and beernuts extracted from the intestines of Jamie Oliver's grandmother and from Teri Hatcher's hair which got bigger but then all suddenly fell out because instead of using old toenails she used old hair extensions from the set of the Golden Girls and Saved by the Bell and then she fell because her toes got caught in the upward escalator only if she had known not to get her acrylics done earlier that morning she would not have had a wardrobe malfunction however the bus splashed water on her new dress from the Reject shop on purpose because they think she has the most vile toenails from which the nail polish is wearing off, as well as Michael Jackson's real nose which he had surgically removed, sewn on carelessly to her nails thinking that she could smell things through her fingers but all she could smell was Paris Hilton's used condoms and Whitney Houston's smelling salts used to wake her from her drug-induced comas, however made her inebriated and utter in her sleep "I have my orthopedic shoes and my humidifier, take me to my people", however her people didn't want her because she smelled like rotten potatoes and stink-bombs a lethal combination indeed which caused a chaos
I lasciviously enjoy removing Birkenstocks that attractive-toed young party hopping coquettes like drinking Paris Latsis' milk bottle comprised of sharp little blue pills that taste sour because Karl Lagerfeld spat gel-like marbles, so glistening and tasteless, erotically from his lower mandible, before seductively hoovering voluptuous marbles of gel-like hyphenated-fun into pert little sections, whilst gyrating around a filthy-cute piece of rather-old astro-turf, ravishingly tasty because boys like chicks melting over astro-turf during rabid cow infested rodeos lasting ages prior to desensitized electroshock therapy involving miniscule insertions of phosphorescent diptyque candles within reason-able timeframes, hereto forth revolving around antidisestablishmentarianism or whatever comes first to cretins assassinating stinky cheese, but causing considerable molten damage within scrotum tissue of festering scabs that leak everywhere and strongly resemble K-Fed licking cheetos crumbs and sneezing girls off, while Brittney staggers to the toilet where she sat crosslegged with her boyfriend whilst eating squid with dobermans who skipped cheerfully backwards towards the penthouse brothel with lemurs dancing with fairies drinking absinthe coupled him beside the table where they rode cowboys with grenades and beer steins when suddenly a crazy wombat, foaming kool-aid, burst into song even though they were encased in a bottle of lumpy lemonade which tastes acidic and smells like gasoline and was shaken-not-stirred with horrendous popped pimples which left scars all over which hurt like hell because they were entranced with a special razorblade soaked in Donatella Versace's saliva completed the disgusting array of Dooney purses lined up in a row with LSD and pesticide, bouncing gleefully beside ants with huge fat welts seeping liquid intestines smearing green sludge throughout their bodies leaking delightful juice all over the neck of the elegant alligator bag inside Eminem's white baggy rear end which disgusted Jessica Simpson who farted on the pool which overflowed with poop and turtles which she gagged and choked on the toilet plunger that stuck tightly to her collagen-enhanced lips, protruding grotesquely upward from her big butt that jiggled nauseatingly with flubber that bubbled like Moet with fire in the pants who jumped in fright and screamed like a cheap wh*re with broken garters who veered wildly across the hotel room and ran into George Bush darted quickly behind Hilary Clinton who then snorted out Bill's cigar to Nick Lachey who sucked greedily on lollipops covered with tapioca and last night's bloody snot from the fight he got into with Liza Minelli, who began to eat grass along with daisies and frog's legs but then stopped and fired a warning shot that was heard by a forgotten colony of dwarves that survives soley by injecting heroin into their enlarged noses that dribbled with mucus and blood then they started to bite the bums of the Backstreet Boys and which they screamed with laughter and had an asthma attack, waxing their armpits and eating their boogies and smacking their lips until dawn when FTV shows Gucci with M-A-C and Calvin Klein began to sing "Babaloo" and karaoke in Donna Karan's swimming pool which was the color of dried blood coupled with Paris Hilton's lipgloss and Mary Kate Olsen's toes which where curled menacingly around Ashley's ears - from which drooped the most exquisite chandelier earrings made with blue bubblegum, bloodied tampons, fossilised egg-mayo salad, and other such delicacies that I would die for but my extreme belief in Uggs and leggings was to much for Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise when they had their alien child who threw up other aliens that loves puppies which they killed and cooked, seasoned with a secret blend of boogers and poo, laced with orange juice and a bottle of tabasco which ho's and homeboys enjoy to drink until it got stolen by 'Lil Kim after her prison cell was set on fire by homeless fashionistas craving molasses candies and skinny jeans and were singing Popozao and dancing around the fire but the flame caught his adams apple and he started to sing Mary Had A Little Lamb when he heard a loud fart that came from Hilary Swank who punched the lights out of him when suddenly his cell phone rings and she plunged him to the ground using her Manolo Blahniks and strangled her own brother who has been using her for sex drugs rock & roll and playing Red Rover with Paris Hilton who bought a pooper scooper and a vibrator that resembled the face of Elvis and then became cold when she realised that Joan Rivers was made to dance for the other lady who was wearing a cowgirl costume and balancing sticks on her nose with poop hanging out of her nostrils that trembled with cat food and salmon that a hobo gave them out of his welfare rations enough money to buy a box full of black g-strings which usually were a size XL and used gisele's ipex bra to hold water bottles and plastic spoons along with a burger and indigestible raw meat which smelled like rotten potatoes and boiled tomato juice, but not as foul as Lindsay's armpits which stunk like curried cauliflower and rotten milk, and then they decided to eat some head cheese and listen to The Backstreet Boys who sound like fingernails on a chalkboard which made Vanilla Ice want to marry them so that he could punish them by dressing their hair like Tara Reid and cover them in radishes while Lassie bit her ankles and gnawed on her left earlobe and ripped her shirt which made Judge Judy finally smile and say "do you rember when we kissed?" "No, I don't" but she really did and shook her head whilst slowly moving foward towards the door, the out of the blue appeared Paula Abdul she decided to hump all the American Idols Michael Jackson impersonators who sneezed out chunks of their plastic nasal cavities, whilst humming the theme song to The Cosby Show and chewing laxatives that tasted like Jack Daniels and Prada socks she took away from Nicole Richie who finally started to eat normal food again rather than playing up anorexia and using her friends as shark bait instead of a salad with ranch dressing topped with one piece of grated rubber coupled with haggis-flavoured condom reduction and sweetened with sugar and toilet cleaning fluid that tasted sour and made her bite her tongue after she had already bit her tongue and it split into 17 pieces that dissolved into thousands of tiny little sugary Harajuku Girls who ate spicy Cajun food that I made using pig's knuckles and beernuts extracted from the intestines of Jamie Oliver's grandmother and from Teri Hatcher's hair which got bigger but then all suddenly fell out because instead of using old toenails she used old hair extensions from the set of the Golden Girls and Saved by the Bell and then she fell because her toes got caught in the upward escalator only if she had known not to get her acrylics done earlier that morning she would not have had a wardrobe malfunction however the bus splashed water on her new dress from the Reject shop on purpose because they think she has the most vile toenails from which the nail polish is wearing off, as well as Michael Jackson's real nose which he had surgically removed, sewn on carelessly to her nails thinking that she could smell things through her fingers but all she could smell was Paris Hilton's used condoms and Whitney Houston's smelling salts used to wake her from her drug-induced comas, however made her inebriated and utter in her sleep "I have my orthopedic shoes and my humidifier, take me to my people", however her people didn't want her because she smelled like rotten potatoes and stink-bombs a lethal combination indeed which caused a chaos
