60swildchild
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The Case of The ****-Sure Groupies
Ellen Sander, The Realist, November 1968
THE CHORDS come flooding out of the amplifiers like a tonal wave, swelling to an impossible amplitude, blaring, ringing, pounding. A broad beam of noise is shot beating into the swarming crowd with great resonant thrusts and throbs. The amplifiers are complaining.
They press up against the stage, the young ones, their faces bathed in delight or clenched in crumpled ecstatic agony. They lean over the edge of the platform, clutching gifts and beads or notes or the group's latest album. And some reach, reach out, squirm on their bellies trying to get up over the edge of the stage, just maybe to-touch-one-of-them... once.
And when it was over
The lights turned on and the curtain fell down
They stood at the stage door and begged for a scream
The agents had paid for the black limousine
That waited outside in the rain. Did you see them?
Did you seeeeeee them?
– 'Broken Arrow', Neil Young, The Buffalo Springfield
"Did you see them, did you seeeee them, oh, Cathy, they're so beautiful! Look at that hair, that blonde hair – ooooh, those faces, Cathy, look at those faces! Oh, wow, the drummer, Cathy, the bass player! Let's go in back to the stage door, Cathy, Cathy, maybe we can meet them, talk to them, something, Cathy, let's go outside and see if we can catch them on their way out! Maybe we can meet them, talk to them, anything! Cathy, come on!!!"
Groupies. Their legions, bless their little rock and roll hearts. are growing geometrically. Often they work in pairs, sometimes in gangs. Their techniques for getting back-stage, which run from bribing, ****ing or knocking out security guards, and their methods of tracking a group down would put a private dick to shame.
(You call all the better hotels in town. If you're looking for the Stones, ask for a Mr. Jones, not Mr. Jagger because that way it's less suspicious.)
When I have the opportunity to watch them in action, it is not without a genuine sense of admiration that I note their acuity. And rarely can I refuse a trembling, pleading teeny when she begs me to take her with me as I flash my press card at the security men that guard the dressing room areas at rock concerts.
Cops and security men are a fixture at rock concerts. They belong there as much as do the fans and the group and the rock and roll press entourage. They personify the balance of tensions between rock and conservative society. They try to stop the kids from scaling the stage and causing riots.
Occasionally they succeed.
But when they try to keep the groupies from their prey, they haven't got much of a chance. For the groupies are girlchild guerillas with a missionary zeal. They'll cooperate with each other to outfox whatever stands between them and the rock and roll boys – but only to a point. That is, they'll gang a door to get inside, but once it's broken in, it's every girl for herself, unless there's been a previous agreement.
When the Buffalo Springfield first came to New York a crowd of groupies stood in the back of the house and divvied the boys up. If more than one girl wanted a certain Springfield they had it out as to which manner of lovemaking each would apply to what and to whom, right then and there so there'd he no squabbles when they got to him.
Some girls are specialists. The lead-singer-****ers are a particularly strong contingent, and lead singers who write are considered a tour de force by any groupie's measure. They dress like creatures out of some glorious romantic drama, scrawl gross amount of black around their eyes and wear the biggest, most gaudy baubles they can find, so maybe, maybe he'll see me.
The great ones, the super groupies, have real class.
There's one beautiful long lithe spade chick from New York. Lilly, with her enormous dyed bubble head and enormous dark glasses, who's been to Los Angeles to visit the Doors and been to London to live with the Stones. There's Cindy and Morgan who live in San Francisco and make clothing for the groups – and don't you know those fittings get pretty intimate.
In L. A. there are the G. T.O's, Misses Christine, Lucy, Pamela, Sandy, Sparkie, Cynderella and Mercy, a gaggle of groupies who have had this card printed up that they give to groups. They are said to have written torrid poetry about their rock and roll conquest which Frank Zappa may set to music for an album.
"The level of involvement with today's music is quite amazing. One example: Groupies. These girls, who devote their lives to pop music, feel they owe something to it, so they make the ultimate gesture of worship, human sacrifice. They offer their bodies to the music or its nearest personal representative, the pop musician. These girls are everywhere. It is one of the amazingly beautiful products of the sexual revolution."
– Frank Zappa, The Mothers of Invention in Life Magazine
Zappa knows. I'm very close to believing that Zappa knows where it's all at. When I first heard about the Plaster Casters of Chicago via the pop grapevine which claimed Zappa as the source, I honestly didn't believe it. Yo-ho, another paranoid Zappa fantasy unleashed on the unsuspecting great unwashed.
Some weeks later I was rapping late at night with Marshall Efron when this friend of his, the road manager from the Pacific Gas and Electric Company, comes in and oh, how's everything and the group is going great, one chick handed Frank Cook a note after a set which said "Dear Fuzzy, I came five times during your drum solo." and aren't these chicks outasite?
And I threw in the tidbit I'd heard about these groupies in Chicago, wow, I heard they make plaster casts of the groups' cocks, Zappa is spreading the word and who knows, may he it's true.
And the road manager. he laughs and whips out this card that says "The Plaster Casters of Chicago, Life-Like Models of Hampton Wicks – Rennie and Lisa" with phone numbers...