What To Wear When You're 30-Something...

[princesita]

Yesterday we were talking ith some friends (thirty-somethings like me) about what looks stylish and what doesn´t when you cross the 30 barrier.

I don´t mean there´s something like "rules" but I think there are things that -even if you have a nice body to pull them off- begin to look kinda weird when you grow up.

For me it´s too low cut jeans, kiddish tops, grungey casual style. Some of my friends said long hair looks bad over 30 but I really don´t think so...
It is weird how perception changes. When you´re 20 you are sure what a 30 something shouldn´t wear, but when you ´re there you begin to wonder, as you don´t see yourself really different, but everybody´s perception about you really does, and somethimes you feel the clash.
I sometimes wanna scream to some of my friends...Please grow up! Dress like a woman and stop trying to kid yourself! But then I meet other friends who begin to look too "safe" and you can see how they kinda begin to look dated and stuck in 1995....


I usually know what to wear but l confess that I sometimes wonder...Is this appropiate for me? Am I kidding myself? Do I have the right perception about my own image?

Does somebody around here have those thoughts too?

 

[softgrey]

i don't think there are specific things...
i think it depends on your lifestyle...if you are married with kids in the suburbs, for example...i think it is different than if you are single or newly married in the city...

when i purchase now...i think about the future...will i still want to be wearing this in my forties...because i do investment dressing....my pieces last me a good 10-20 years...so that was part of why i didn't buy the strappy vivienne westwood boots...and bought the shoes instead...i can't see myself in my forties wearing what are essentially bondage boots...
i also see nothing wrong with long hair...i wear mine pulled up or back most of the time...but many of my friends...in fact most of them have long hair...and i think it actually adds to their youthful appearance...

the truth is that so many people lie about their ages in the media and also get 'work' done...so it's hard to know who is what age...

the biggest thing i have noticed is that i feel like i need to wear better quality clothing as i age...when you are young you can look good in just about anything....but as you get older...i think good quality clothing makes a difference in your looking your best...in terms of fit and tailoring...

my 2 pennies worh...

 

[Acid]

i dont think early 30's need to worry so much

but......after the age of 34 (this seems to be THE year where it all starts) you need to really take a look at yourself. liz hurley could pull off what she wore in her early 30's but now shes 39........she just cant in the way she used to, it looks sort of wannabe young again even though its only a few years difference

 

[softgrey]

personally... i think liz hurley looked like a scag from day one...it has little to do with her age...imo...

 

[princesita]

That´s just the point, Acid. Liz Hurley is looking somehow spooky, even if she has an amazing body, and I think it has a lot to do with her fashion choices. Well... her smile gives me the creeps...I wouldn´t want her for an enemy...

Anyhow, dressing younger is always tricky.Once I read Carine Roitfeld saying that if she dressed younger, she would look twice older because of the body/face clash.

I agree it is after 34 that it is difficult for oneself to realize things as you don´t see big changes day by day, but something slightly...off. You need good friends and BIG mirrors!

I also agree with Softgrey about quality, it adds a lot. A great bag, a superbly cut trench some really classy shoes are great, and they say: I know about quality better than anything.

Sizes are also something difficult, you just gotta let go the size 4 and accept a 6 even if you have to alter it a bit. Mature women bursting out clothes (or shoes ) are soooo lame.

 

[purechris]

Agreed about quality. As far as too low jeans and too short/tight tops, I don't thinkg they are appropriate under 30. One thing I wish 30something women would wake up and realize is not a good look is Juicy velour tracksuits, especially the full get up.

By 30, most people have had time to experiment with many diff looks and should have hopefully found a style that suits them. Wearing what is comfortable and a reflection of you is always appropriate. One of my good friends, who's 34 always looks very well put together and chic. Her look is basically all black with dynamite accessories.

 

[Hanne]

30 is just a number.

How you dress should reflect how you feel
(so if you feel young at heart.. myself included.....you probably look it....and get mistaken for a 23 year old, while those who feel like an old hag...probasbly look it).

 

[softgrey]

i was addressed as 'madame' over and over whilst in paris this weekend...and i was actually thinking quite a bit about this...at first it caught me by surprise and i was a bit put off by it...i wasn't entirely comfortable with the title...

but i found that after a bit i came to like it...because it meant i was actually treated with some respect ...which i admit i quite enjoyed...being an adult has it's advantages too ...you know...

 

[princesita]

Softgrey! You have just described just my state of mind!

I really enjoy being a madame myself, it´s really great being here and knowing what I like and how I like it, but in the beggining it´s kinda puzzling, isn´t it?

In this over-teenagerized world the beauty of a grown up woman is sometimes minimized, but that doesn´t diminish at all its glory. I´ve never looked back, and I feel more confortable with myself now than ever, but sometimes it can be difficult for women to see role models in the media who really embrace and love their age without fighting ridiculous battles to stop the unstoppable and to make youth longer.

People in the streets are just the most innocent opinion you can get of your image as sometimes people just say things like: you look younger, etc just as a compliment but a woman looks sooo silly when she says :Everybody tells me I look younger...

You look younger it´s a rather pitiful compliment.
You look great! That´s a great one...

 

[softgrey]

it definitley takes some getting used to...

and i agree that telling someone she looks younger is an odd compliment...i hear it all the time...and i never know how i'm supposed to respond...looking younger wasn't so great early on when i was trying to get people to pay attention to me from a professional point of view, you know...?

anyway...there is one look that i think is hard to pull off when you are older...and that is the whole gothic lolita thing...you can do gothic or lolita...but not both...

you look great! ...that IS a great compliment...

 

[TheSoCalledPrep]

everyone has such great ideas and thoughts swimming around in their noggins...

 

[strawberry daiquiri]

Originally posted by TheSoCalledPrep@Oct 26 2004, 12:22 AM
everyone has such great ideas and thoughts swimming around in their noggins...

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You're only realising this now?

 

[purplelucrezia]

Originally posted by strawberry daiquiri@Oct 25 2004, 07:01 PM
You're only realising this now? 

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Perhaps it's only been swimming so far.

Right now, all that I can think of this skin care ad on television... Look ten years younger! Quite honestly- I have no desire to look ten years younger. softgrey's spoken very well here, as have others. I think that I'd much rather look my age.

 

[stylegurrl]

All during my 20s I was mistaken for a teenager and carded at clubs etc.. I am so glad to now be 33 and treated like an adult. At this stage in my life, I find myself steering away from things like jeans, sneakers, t-shirts and super- trendy items. On the other hand, I don't want to look like a middle-aged school marm, so it's a matter of balancing youthful and classy.

 

[AmeliaRaitte]

I agree with so much that's been said here. Of course I speak only for myself, but I am only getting more confident, more 'happy in my own skin' as I get older. I too was called 'madame' on my latest trip to France this spring, and loved it. I feel like my 30s have brought with them some dignity, and possibly some elegance too (I'm sure I have selective memory when it comes to fashion faux pas of years gone by).

I do always ask myself, 'mutton dressed as lamb?' when I check myself in fitting room mirrors, and there are certainly things I wouldn't wear now that I would have worn without question ten years ago. But I'm definitely enjoying shopping 'to last', looking for that element of quality, of style rather than fashion, dressing like a grown up! Becoming a lady at last, not a girl any more.

 

[softgrey]

welcome aboard ameliaraitte...madame...

 

[softgrey]

another example of something i did not buy...leather leggings by ann demeulemeester...

 

[Fawn]

I think that as you grow older, you should become more aware of what you like and what looks good on you. You no longer feel the need to experiment as much because you've already tried everything and you know what you're most comfortable in.

I'm in my mid-20's now, and since I look younger, I make an effort to distinguish my look from that of a teenager's. I want people to see me as the mature professional that I aspire to be.

I think that someone who accepts their age is more appealing than someone who tries to dress younger. But everyone's different, I mean, look at Betsy Johnson, she can totally pull off the sugar princess look.

 

[AmeliaRaitte]

Originally posted by softgrey@Oct 28 2004, 03:08 AM
welcome aboard ameliaraitte...madame...

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thank you so much!

 

[helena]

I think this is a really interesting topic and I have been thinking about what I have changed since I was in my thirties. I think the main thing is that I buy more expensive (and therefore hopefully better quality) clothes. I have never really been that interested in wearing tight clothes or particularly short skirts so to that extent the general 'shapes' that I wear are very similar. However, I wear darker colours (especially on the bottom half) and I suppose I don't wear as much denim & overtly casual clothes as I once did. However, there is the subtext that I am probably wealthier than I have been in the past so that also partly explains the fact that I spend more (i.e not just the belief that I ought to as I am older).

As for the 'madame' thing - yes its odd. When I got married I kept my own name so I am not really used to being a 'Mrs' either.... I suppose I just like & appreciate the fact that people in France are really polite & address you formally unlike in the Uk where you are lucky if you get a grunt from whoever you are interacting with.

Re Liz Hurley - I just think she has bad taste. A better example might be Kylie Minogue. I think she dresses too young for her years. She needs to grow up & embrace a bit of sophistaication.

Actually I think thats it....i think women in their thirties OUGHT to be a little bit more sophisticated than their little sisters! B)