The commercial makes me cringe.
I'm cringing with you.
I first saw the print ad posted at GFY.com. Nearly choked on my morning coffee. Imagine if I had died with this image of Beyoncé as the last thing I ever saw.
This is really the epitome of lazy all around. I'm so endlessly tired of celebrities venturing into areas they know nothing about, simply to make a cheap buck, as if they were otherwise dangling on the edge of bankruptcy.
Fashion lines, the one-off collection etc. I can stomach, especially from people who are fashion-relevant, such as Chloë Sevigny, Kate Moss or Milla Jovovich. But celebrity fragrances make me nauseous. What are all these irrelevant names doing, invading the perfume industry they know nothing about, and has no connection to their professional work? I didn't know Halle Berry was particularly known for smelling good, although I'm sure she does. I, personally, wouldn't be caught dead with a bottle of Britney Spears' "Curious"
rolleyes
, especially if I had the choice of getting Very Irresistible Givenchy instead. And "Heat", the first fragrance from Beyoncé? Really? Please, don't make me laugh. I really need to pee.
Then again, watching these people desperately try to transform their names into "labels" is endlessly entertaining. B)
Still, whether you like celeb fragrances or not, you'd expect a fragrance by the name "
Heat" from the artist known as Beyoncé to at least be
hot, sexy, intense. Fiery as hell. Instead, I see we got some discolored toiler paper. I've seen B-rate straight-to-video action movie DVD covers with more spunk than this. Perhaps it's just the picture, but considering the theme they're trying to ride here, why the toned down red? Where's the deep, fiery #d40000 red? Why does the red lighting only slightly touch Beyoncé's hair? If this is what you're going with, then commit!
Then there's the photo itself. First off, I hate it when people wear hair split evenly on both sides. Very few people can pull it off in a way that doesn't make me cringe. Beyoncé Knowles is not of those people. And that she has her hair thrown back in the bargain doesn't exactly improve upon the look. Then there's the posing: Where is her neck? The way the photo's been cropped makes it seem that she's had to bow down her head to fit in the picture, which I sincerely doubt is what they were going for. The make-up doesn't speak to me either, nor strike me as particularly enhancing on Beyoncé. And don't get me started on that font...
Really, I do
not get "heat" from Beyoncé's awkward and stiff pose, that odious, tacky song playing in the background of the commercial, nor that nondescript bottle design, in any way. Thematic references don't always have to be literal, but you can't go half-way without it looking helplessly unfinished. I might be more understanding if they'd only had 15 minutes left of their free Photoshop trial doing this, but come to think of it, even I could be more productive with PS in that same time frame.
"Catch the Fever?" All I caught was a mild cold.