Modelling is a whole way of life. It’s not about the job really, it’s about the whole experience of travelling, meeting people, enjoying pure and new moments, feeling and being aware of your emotions, trying new ways of living and seeing life, discovering things you’ve never felt or had never seen before.
It might seem weird, but I try not to focus on the job itself; it kind of comes with this way of life as a by-product. Every day I try to remind myself it’s a new, beautiful day, in an incredible city, which I have to enjoy. I try to take every little moment and LIVE that moment. I have to say I try, because it's hard to escape society and the ever-present claim of living hasty lives - but I really do try.
Aside from modelling, I’ve finished my Bachelor in political and social sciences and my Master in communication management. It was four years of extreme commitment and discipline; although I didn’t realise that when I was actually doing it. Now, when I see how free life can be, I cannot imagine how I survived those four years of combining studies with modelling.
I have to say I’m not fully proud of my diploma. I mean, I am, but I’m afraid I did it partially to fit in with society, to do what you are expected to do, to walk in the line. I’m not proud of that part, because it says something about me. I chose for safe, and I guess I was afraid of the emptiness that comes with unpredictable decisions. I have a huge respect for people who just dare to jump, take a risk, go for it, without caring about the judgements that come with it. Because there will always be judgements, whatever you’ll undertake. It’s just about giving those judgements a right place and then moving on.
I'm inspired by people. I’m extremely grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to get to know so many magnificent and incredibly interesting personalities over the past few years. People and their opinions, their life stories, their ways of reflecting the world. A million views - all different ones, and yet in the end we are all quite the same. It broadens my view on life, it keeps my eyes constantly open for new feelings, new visions, new ways of relating to people and life itself.
To be honest, I grew up with a quite irritating, know-it-all character; not very open to others' points of view. Now I try to remind myself, every time I feel my thoughts are tending to judge something or someone, that, by listening, by being open, you can learn a whole bunch. It gives me so much joy to share thoughts and different opinions with new people, mostly because their different views encourage me to think, and that makes me more aware of myself, my actions and my emotions.
I am currently listening to whatever music I’m in the mood for. I tend to strengthen the way I feel with music. Which is great when you’re up, but a little masochistic when you’re down and depressed. Ha ha. Oh well, I guess I have this bizarre characteristic of enjoying melancholy and I tend to let myself go in the emotion I’m feeling. Sometimes I catch myself choosing particular songs that bring me back to moments that were heavy, loaded and sad, yet very interesting. I do particularly love the music of Cold War Kids, Absynthe Minded and Patrick Watson.
It might surprise people to learn that I started modelling because I was a complete mess. I had so many complexes, I was extremely shy and almost afraid of new people. When I was scouted I saw it as the only shot I had to change the way I saw myself. Maybe getting something positive out of the fact I looked like a weirdo could help me to grow stronger and care less. The feeling came gradually but, bit by bit, I managed to live and let go. I’m extremely grateful.
Don’t ask me about the future. It scares the hell out of me. Not only because I feel the huge pressure of living, loving, enjoying, and doing as much as I can before it’s too late. I feel I want to do so much before I turn a certain age, and even worse, I feel that I have been talking about the future my whole life, and suddenly I realise that I haven’t done anything but dream about the future, while time passed by...
I have this specific relationship with time and how it floats. I can’t relate to it, really. All of a sudden I turned from 18 to 22. How did that ever happen? ****. I mean, it’s going so fast, and thinking about later and future planning is one of my big sins. So, being aware of it, I try to avoid it, because it doesn’t make you happy and while you are thinking about tomorrow, you are not living today. Every moment is precious. Enjoy it, NOW. We’ll see about tomorrow...
