WheresMyUmbrella
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2004 Interview magazine conversation with Juliette Binoche:
JULIETTE BINOCHE: So, in two days I've watched three of your films, and I wish I'd seen more. I saw Amores Perros, and I saw your two new movies, La Mala Educacion [Bad Education] and The Motorcycle Diaries. I haven't seen all the others yet, but I will. What I really love in your acting is how you listen, and the way you re-create life in each take. I could see it in each movie I watched, even though they're very different.
GAEL GARCIA BERNAL: Oh, great. Thank you!
JB: Anyway, I've got, like, 30 pages of questions, so let's get started. What colors are you wearing?
GGB: What colors? Blue and white.
JB: And what did you have for breakfast?
GGB: I haven't had breakfast today. [laughs] I don't have breakfast often. I kind of grew up like that, just eating a big lunch.
JB: Don't you feel dizzy in the morning?
GGB: Sometimes. I don't usually wake up early.
JB: Tell me, what did you do last night?
GGB: I went to see a Spanish film called Mar Adentro with Javier Bardem. It was really good. And I actually did something unusual, which is that I didn't have a beer, so I woke up different this morning. Usually at a film festival I like to go out every night. It's kind of necessary to exorcize all the demons that get built up from talking about oneself all day, but last night I made a commitment to not have anything so I'd be very sober talking about how wonderful the film was.
JB: We've talked about your morning, so now let's go to your childhood. [Bernal laughs] From what I understand, both your parents work in the theater.
GGB: Yeah. My mother [Patricia Bernal] is an actress, and my dad [Jose Angel Garcia] is an actor who now mainly directs. In Mexico, theater is very underground, so if you're a theater actor it's very difficult to make a living. But it's also a very beautiful pathway to knowledge and to an open education. My parents were pretty young when they had me, and because there was no one else to take care of me, they took me to the theater with them quite often.
JB: Did you have sisters and brothers?
GGB: No. I mean, not at that time.
JB: Were you a planned child?
GGB: Oh, I think it was definitely an accident. My mother was about 18, and my dad was 22. I think it always comes as a surprise at that age.
JB: And if you had been given the chance to choose your parents, do you think you would have chosen them?
GGB: That's something I've never asked myself. There are plenty of choices that are presented to you, and it gives me a lot of comfort to know there is nothing that you can do about that one. When I was little there were times I wanted my parents to be normal. I wanted them to have a religion. I wanted them to have a job, like the parents of every other kid I went to school with. But there was a good side, which was that as a family we could get away with anything. My father and mother could dress up the way they wanted to, and when we were very late it didn't matter.
JB: So you had a lot of freedom and insecurity at the same time?
GGB: Yeah. Insecurity comes with freedom.
JB: Can you share a memory from watching your parents onstage?
GGB: I remember the smell of the theater they worked in--it was wood combined with the smell of people. In Mexico it generally rains at night, so it also had that smell of wet dirt. Also, the theater was in this big cultural center at the university, which had, like, seven theaters and a bunch of auditoriums and studios. I remember walking beside the center's walls and thinking how long they were. The spaces seemed infinite. And I remember going from one theater to another without going outside--just going backstage to see other shows, like 20 minutes to see a bit of some other play because there was a really funny part in it, and then going and having an ice cream. A lot of the actors or people in the theater had kids as well. They were my best friends.
JB: Are any of them actors today, like you?
GGB: One of them, Diego Luna--the other actor in Y Tu Mama Tambien.
JB: When you look back, did you know you wanted to be an actor?
GGB: I always wanted to act, but I never thought it would be my profession. I thought that I'd end up doing other things, but that in the meantime I'd do plays. It was a game and a fun escape. I guess I didn't realize how hard it really was. I mean, I thought I knew, but when I started to study theater and to work, I realized that I didn't. And that's something about theater that never ends--the learning curve is always there. While I was filming Y Tu Mama Tambien, I remember waking up on the day I had to do this complex scene, and all of a sudden I felt completely vulnerable with this sense of gravity pulling me to the earth. I don't know what happened to me, but I felt this pull. It sank in very strongly, and I got a bit scared. That's when I began to realize that I wanted to develop this craft inside me.
JB: Which scene was it in the movie?
GGB: The one where the two characters have a fight because one of the guys tells the other one that he f***ed his girlfriend. One of them wants to get into a fistfight, but the other one doesn't. The girl they're traveling with gets between them, and one of the characters pushes her. It was a moment of real clarity for me about acting.
JB: At 17 you went to drama school at the Central School of Speech and Drama in London. Acting must have meant a lot to you at that point.
GGB: Well, I didn't think of it being a lot when I was there, but in retrospect, yeah, I think it was quite heavy. I could have done with going somewhere that wasn't as hard as London, especially with no money.
JB: Give me words to describe your character.
GGB: Um. Let's see.
JB: Don't think too much. It must be spontaneous!
GGB: [laughs] Sleepy. Hungry. Tired!
JB: Give me words to describe your energy.
GGB: Earth. Food. Water.
JB: And words to describe your ambition?
GGB: [pauses] Shadow? Hopeful?
JB: And words to describe your aim?
GGB: Hmm, I guess, good. Tranquility. Love?
JB: Words to describe your lack?
GGB: Guts? Congruency?
JB: I don't know what that means.
GGB: Congruente, congruent. To do the same as what you say is to be congruent.
JB: Okay. Words to describe your needs?
GGB: Sleep and health.
JB: What are your words to describe your neuroses if you have any?
GGB: I still haven't accepted them.
JB: [laughs] Words to describe your soul?
GGB: Trusted? That's all I can say on that one. Can I ask you one question: When did you decide to be an actress?
JB: I decided at 17. I did a play at my school, which I directed, designed the sets for, and acted in, and at the end of it I knew that that was my world.
GGB: I have the same type of attraction. I used to love that kind of life that came with acting: the fact that there were so many people around you, and that some became your family.
JB: Do you think you need to dream and desire a lot to get the roles you want, or does getting parts in movies come easily to you?
GGB: I never thought of doing films, actually, so when the opportunity first arose, it was a nice chance to see what it was like. That was Amores Perros. After that they called me again for Y Tu Mama Tambien, so it was partly luck or destiny, or maybe both. Perhaps there was a little bit of working towards it as well, but without consciously wanting to. Then I started to enjoy being in movies--I mean, we Latin Americans hardly ever see ourselves in film, you know? So there was, like, an awakening that made me commit to this, and not only for me, but for what it created. I guess it strikes me louder to do a film in Mexico, in Argentina, in Spain, in Colombia, because I can understand it a little bit better than something that comes from another place that I don't particularly relate to. It's great that opportunities come, but I feel now like I have a responsibility; and it's something I want to nurture.
JB: What are the dangers of being an actor?
GGB: That's one of those questions I'm more interested in asking you.
JB: [laughs] Well, when I started, I was so open, I was not afraid of harming myself or feeling pain. It didn't matter to me. It was all for art. So I was very dedicated--and I'm still dedicated today, but in a different way. I think I manage sometimes to choose life instead of art, so if I feel that something is wrong on the set lifewise, I'm very straightforward about it. The danger as an actor is to believe in your myth, thinking of yourself in the third person and believing that when they give you a prize it's less about involvement in a group and more about yourself. Another danger is to do the same thing over and over, because as an actor you must renew yourself and take risks. You have to let go of a character like a snake lets go of its skin.
GGB: Well, I think I just got to that stage of responding to life rather than putting myself out there in a role.
JB: And in terms of your relationships with directors, do you see them as mentors or friends, or the opposite?
GGB: I'm really grateful for having been able to work with four directors I value a lot. Sometimes they become my parent, sometimes my friend, sometimes my mentor.
JB: When you get to the end of a shoot, what are you feeling usually?
GGB: That I need to go and have a haircut.
JB: Like you want to leave everything behind?
GGB: Exactly.
JB: What is your relation to silence?
GGB: I never thought that would be something I would ever look for. I mean, wanting to go to a party, wanting to run, wanting to swim--these things are more specific. But indeed, sometimes I do find that I want silence, which kind of surprised me. And sometimes that means having to put a pillow over your ears!
JB: I can only act when I have a relationship with silence, because it's neutral--like when you drive, you have to start there in order to go to first. Do you think of death often?
GGB: In Mexico you have death very close. That's true for all human beings because it's a part of life, but in Mexico, death can be found in many things: There is a big celebration called the Day of the Dead, there are the bullfights. And that's why there's the cliche that Mexico and Latin America are very alive, because there's always this awareness of death. Also, when you're little you're told really early that your parents are going to die, so you always have this notion and desire to celebrate.
JB: Do you have an angel?
GGB: I don't know. Maybe? I hope so?
JB: If God were to talk to you, what would you like him to say?
GGB: Whatever he has to say.
JB: [laughs] Do you believe in God?
GGB: No and yes. I think I kind of believe in nature. Maybe that's where he is. Or it is.
JB: If you had to say something to a child about life, what would it be?
GGB: Life is like a craft that's done little by little.
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*swoon*
