GO: So you couldn't smile. Well, you wouldn't smile in a Calvin Klein show anyway.
KM: Exactly.
GO: I had a front tooth fall out before my second wedding, right before the ceremony. I kept sticking it back in, but it wouldn't stay.
KM: Is that who you're married to now?
GO: No.
KM: [
laughs] Well, that was a bit of a bad omen, wasn't it? Losing a tooth.
GO: I know. I should have said, " Stop the wedding! Bad omen!" It's true, she did try to defang me.
KM: You seem better now.
GO: I am, thanks. So do you have career ambitions after modeling?
KM: Yeah. I'm already doing things. I'm doing Topshop. And I've got lots of friends in the music business who are always asking me to do things. Not that I want to be a singer, but I like doing things. Obviously, one day I'm going to stop modeling, but I think I will just move into something else.
GO: I think talented people just naturally move into other things.
KM: When I was modeling, I'd get bored.
GO: I know a lot of people who have had great second careers in the arts. Like John Waters. David Byrne makes interesting art. I saw this wonderful art exhibit in Basel by Malcolm McLaren, " Shallow (1-21)," a series of musical paintings and people tend to see Malcolm as an impresario or hustler, but what he's doing is really amazing.
KM: His son Joe is like that. He's a really good friend of mine. He does Agent Provocateur, and he started singing at parties. He's a crooner, and he'd just break into song at parties, and he would be amazing. I'd say, " Joe, you really missed your true vocation," and now he's making a record. He just played in Vienna to 40,000 people or something. He's very like his dad in that way. It's about confidence, I think. A lot of people don't dare to do things they dream about, but he just goes for it.
GO: So how did the Topshop thing happen?
KM: My friend Bella Freud has this charity for children in Palestine, and I said I'd auction a kiss. So I was at work, and a friend of mine called up and said, " I'm bidding on your kiss." And people were texting me, " It's at 10 grand, 20 grand, 30 grand." When I finally got there it was 60 grand. It was Philip Green [ Topshop's owner] betting against Jemima Khan, and in the end he gave it to Jemima. I'm thinking, "What am I going to do for 60 grand? It's going to have to be more than a peck on the cheek." So I started talking to him, and I said, "Well, I should do something for Topshop," and he said, " All right, come and have a meeting with me," and so I did, and that was that. We really get on because we're both from Croydon. It's really weird. My mum had a fruit and veg stall in Croydon's Surrey Street Market, and his mum had two shops just around the corner from the market. I didn't know he was from Croydon, until we signed the deal and had dinner and he told me.
GO: So it's stuff that you would wear?
KM: Yeah, it's taken from bits from my closet really. It's about just the right thing that you can't get. It's about just the right thing that you can't find in a second-hand shop anymore. I'll give them something and tell 'em how to do it, and it will come back, and I'm amazed. Sometimes you can't tell the new one from the original. It's so good. And it's cheap-- well, cheaper.
GO: Did you ever meet the queen?
KM: Yeah. I met her when I was 8, in Croydon, and I gave her a posy. Then I met her at Buckingham Palace. She was really nice and friendly. It was at a thing for women who have succeeded in the face of adversity.
GO: Gee, I had no idea.
KM: I know. It was so weird. All of these women-- Dame Judi Dench, Margaret Thatcher..
GO: They all had adversity? Maybe that's about that hats Thatcher wore.
KM: It was brilliant. All the bitchings that went on. Vivienne Westwood was there, and I introduced her to someone--we all had to wear these name tags-- and I didn't know who this woman was, and Vivienne said, " I think you're a disgrace! You're a disgrace to the fashion industry. How can you call yourself a professor?" It turned out this woman was the head of a university. I was just there in the middle. But it was funny, all these old dames.
GO: Do you think you'll get made a dame. That's the women's equivalent of sir, right?
KM: Yeah. I don't think so.
GO: Dame Kate Moss?
KM: Well, I've put in a request with a few friends. [
laughs] But you can't be a dame when you're under 50, can you? I've got a few years to work on it. Anyway,
dame sounds old.
GO: Do you ever find yourself driving around, and see yourself on a billboard and it strikes you as odd? Do you have surreal moments seeing your image?
KM: It was weird when I was doing those Calvin ads and people were spraying things on them like FEED ME. That was a bit weird. But other than that, I'm immune. But my daughter gets excited. " Mummy! I saw you on the telly!" Or, " We were driving, and I asw this picture of you. It was realyl big!" But I was on buses in New York when I was 17, so now it doesn't really do much to me.
GO: Speaking of when you were 17, I just saw the Calvin Klein underwear ad you and I did with Herb Ritts and Marky Mark.
KM: Oh, I was such a nervous wreck.
GO: It was strange. He was working so hard to be, uh, funky. He turned out to be such a good actor.
KM: But at the time he was such a d*ckhead. He wasn't very nice.
GO: As a writer, I had a hard time working with him. It was a struggle with the ebonics.
KM: They had to get Downtown Julie Brown to come in as a consultant to get him going. And David Geffen came down.
GO: Before the shoot Mark went to the Calvin Klein office, and Calvin had him try on every style of underwear. We were on the seventh floor, and the windows of the building across 39th Street were all filled with girls, waving and holding up signs: MARKY, WE LOVE YOU.
KM: He had a good body.
GO: He had a third nipple. That's supposed to mean you're a witch.
KM: Or be the sign of some kind of evilness.
GO: I don't know if he's really evil.
KM: No, he's not evil.
GO: Now, the Funky Bunch, maybe they were evil. Speaking of evil, how have you changed since you became a mum?
KM: I don't have house parties anymore. Everything's changed. It's all about her really.
GO: Does she take after you?
KM: Yeah. Everyone says so. I think she looks like her dad [Jefferson Hack], but her mannerisms are really me. Although when I was a kid I was so shy; I didn't say anything until I was, like, 13, when I started rebelling. I started kicking doors down and yelling, "I'm going out!" Up until then, I did not say boo to a goose. It must have been a real shock to my mother. Lila's now like I was then. She's really frightening. Well, not frightening, but much more outspoken than I was as a child. She hangs out with adults a lot.
GO: That's the best.
KM: So she's really confident around adults and can have a conversation with them. I didn't go to any parties as a child. I didn't know anything until I started living my own life. I used to sleep at the top of the stairs, watching my mom and dad as they watched TV. I thought, There must be
something going on.
GO: So what's the secret of your longevity? You've never been out.
KM: Touch wood. I don't know. You never know when it could end. But I think I have a good rapport with the people I work with and that really helps. If you like working with people and you always have a good time and you always do good work, then they're going on to book you again. I like doing what I do. It's not, "Oh, God, not that again!" I get into it.
GO: I know you're friends with certain women who were girlfriends of the Rolling Stones. Have you ever heard any Brian Jones stories? I'm a big Brian Jones fan.
KM: Anita [ Pallenberg] told me he was so naughty. He was naughty, naughty, naughty. I went to Christie's with her, to a rock 'n' roll auction, and I bought his coat, this Ossie Clark pink- and- white tweed coat. Like the Withnail & I coat, double- breasted with a high collar. He was quite short, and it fits me. It's so fabulous. How long did Brian go with Anita?
GO: I think it was probably a year.
KM: And Marianne [Faithfull] only went out with Mick for a year and a half.
GO: That was a long time in those days. So much was happening.
KM: I suppose when you're young a lot happens. I only went out with Mario [ Sorrenti] for a year and a half, and so much happened, it felt like forever.
GO: I loved Brian Jones's style. I hated that movie [
Stoned, 2005] about his death, but I watched it about four times just to look at the clothes.
KM: I got a call about playing Anita in that movie, and I phoned Marlon, her son, and I said, " Marlon, I've just been sent this script for the Brian Jones story. I'm meant to play Anita," and he said, " Oh, what's the line in it? 'Oops, he died." [
laughs]
GO: What's your favorite vintage period?
KM: The '20s, the'60s, and some '70s.
GO: Do you have clothes from the '20s?
KM: I do. I've got Errol Flynn's first wife's flapper dress. It's
gorge. I love that period. I like those amazing bias-cut dresses from the 30s, but it all went bad in the '40s, with the shoulder pads and all. I'm bidding in an auction on one of James Brown's suits. It's ivory with gold epaulets and gold buttons. I met James Brown! I danced with him on the runway at one of Thierry Mugler's shows. He was singing "Sex Machine" and I was dancing in a ball gown, and he turned around and danced with me. It took me a second to realize I was dancing with James Brown, I froze. His teeth were so white. He wasn't really singing. He was lip-synching. But he was incredible. And he was so nice. He said later, " You've got to come to my 50th-birthday party." I was thinking, Fifty? Right? I think he had lost count.
GO: Do you have any nicknames?
KM: Yes. [
long pause, laughs]
GO: Who's your favorite monster?
KM: The giant marshmallow from
Ghostbusters.
GO: And your favorite superhero?
KM: Wonder Woman. The outfit was so good. I once went to a stag party when my friend was getting married, and I went with all the boys because I was one of them. There were all these strippers dressed up in costumes like nuns and sailors and all that, and so all the guys had lap dances, and they said, "You've got to have one!" I said, " I don't want one," and they said, " Well, you've got to have one!" So I said, "Okay, I'll have Wonder Woman." And she got fresh with me. How rude. I went ballistic. I said, "Okay, that's it! We're leaving." But secretly I thought it was kind of great that Wonder Woman would do that.
Religion:
GO: Speaking of bad behavior, you've been everywhere and seen everything, so I wanted to ask you what you thought about the seven capital sins.
KM: Okay.
GO: Pride.
KM: Pride is a sin? Pride shouldn't be a sin!
GO: I agree completely. How about lust?
KM: Lust isn't a sin either.
GO: Envy?
KM: Oh yeah, that's a sin. Definitely. I mean, I've never committed it, but it's bad.
GO: Gluttony?
KM: Sometimes. Not one of my major sins.
GO: Sloth?
KM: That's a sin, but I don't really suffer from it. I like a nice break now and then
GO: How about greed? Well, that's a sin, but I'm not greedy. I would like a house in Ibiza. That would make three. That's not greedy, is it?
KM: It sounds reasonable to me.
GO: Wrath. I don't think that's a sin, either, do you?
KM: No, it's important to get angry at times, don't you think?
GO: I do. So in all your experiences, what have you learned about men?
KM: They are not to be trusted.
GO: What have you learned about women?
KM: They are fabulous. I love my girlfriends.
GO: What have you learned about rock stars?
KM: They like to stay up late.
GO: And artists?
KM: They're twisted.
Aaaand, a little racism:
GO: What have you learned about the English?
KM: They like to drink.
GO: Americans?
KM: They're a bit square.
GO: The French?
KM: They're rude.
GO: The Russians?
KM: They're sexy.
GO: Italians?
KM: Bisexual.
GO: What have you learned about money?
KM: I like it.
GO: Do blondes have more fun?
KM: Definitely.
GO: And why are all the hot chicks over 30?
KM: Oh, you're sweet. Well, really, I think it's because we know. We have experience.
GO: Older women can talk.
KM: I could talk when I was 20. I'm a lot better in the sack now.