Can someone correct this for me, please??? TIA and karma will be in its way!
Saturday. You wake up and ask yourself how special is going to be this new day. You raise the blinds and it’s still too early, you disconnect the alarm clock, make the bed, pick up everything you dropped on the floor last night and you go inside the shower.
You think, at the same time that the water splashes all around, at the same time that every drop cools down a little more when it touches a little bit of your skin; you think, at the same time that you whisper bits of songs that remind you of him, and you realise that you’re making a fool of yourself even when you’re all alone. Not because of how you sing, but because that lyrics, that phrases and even the rhythms of the songs you can’t stop dancing to make you die faster, taking your breath away and then singing them louder. They weaken your soul, to give it to someone who’s willing to play with it, and they make fun of your tears –the ones that can’t stop welling up from your eyes. The ones that now and then were more than alive.
You go out from the shower, soaked in thoughts that make you tremble more and more; tearful, as always, because of not knowing how to end this story. You get dressed, tired, because you can’t even stand yourself, and you run away to that room without window, neither light, without door nor end. And you light a cigarette for you, to scare away all the proverbs that say so much about everything, and about what you would like to say and don’t know how.
You breathe deeply, and try to intoxicate yourself with the air. You close your eyes and try to remember the sensation that aroused deep inside you when you smoked with him. That swift flight that made you go crazy every time you passed by him, even the wind that made you dance when you were with his friends, to make him see that you were also happy with other boys.
Even now, in the darkness, you can remember how they were that kisses that you will never forget about. And that hands, delicate, and that eyes, that could fascinate you with only a look…
You blow on the ashes, and you put on a pair of high heels.
You go out of your soul’s room and realise that, in the light of the day, everything is so different…
It's by me :
Hi, I did some corrections here but I don't know if this is what you are looking for.
Saturday.
You wake up and ask yourself
how special this new day is going to be. You raise the blinds and it’s still too early
. You disconnect the alarm clock, make the bed, pick up everything you dropped on the floor last night and
[ ] go inside the shower.
[ ] At the same that the water splashes all around
you, [ ] every drop cools down a little more
as it touches your skin
. You think
. At the same time
, [ ] you whisper bits of songs that remind you of him and
[ ] reali
ze that you’re making a fool of yourself even
though you think you’re all alone. Not because of how you sing, but because
of the lyrics,
the phrases
, and even the rhythms of the songs you can’t stop dancing to make you die faster
while taking your breath away and
[ ] singing them louder. They weaken your soul
and give it to someone who’s willing to play with it
. And they make fun of your tears – the ones that can’t stop welling
[ ] in your eyes. The ones that now and then
, were more than alive.
You
come out of the shower soaked in thoughts that make you tremble more and more; tearful
[ ] as always
[ ] because of not knowing how to end this story. You get dressed
and are tired
[ ] because you can’t even stand yourself.
[ ] You run away to that room without
a window
where there is neither light nor a door with an end and
[ ] light a cigarette
[ ] to scare away
[ ] the proverbs that say so much
about everything you would like to say and don’t know how.
You breathe deeply
[ ] and try to intoxicate yourself with
[ ] air. You close your eyes and try to remember the sensation that aroused deep inside
[ ] when you smoked with him. That swift flight that made you
[ ] crazy every time you passed
[ ] him
, and even the wind that made you dance when
[ ] with his friends to
show him you were
[ ] happy with
the other boys.
Even now in the darkness, you
[ ] remember
[ ] those kisses that you will never forget,
[ ] delicate hands, and
the eyes that could fascinate you with only a look.
You blow on the ashes, and you put on a pair of high heels.
You go out of your soul’s room and realize that, in the light of the day, everything is
[ ] different.