Ed Wood:
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: This story's gonna grab people. It's about this guy, he's crazy about this girl, but he likes to wear dresses. Should he tell her? Should he not tell her? He's torn, Georgie. This is drama.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime, grab some dinner, maybe?
Vampira: You mean a date? I thought you were a ***.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, no, I'm just a transvestite.
Criswell: Eddie, we're in show biz. It's all about razzle-dazzle. Appearances. If you look good, and you talk well, people will swallow anything.
Bela Lugosi: I refuse to drive in this country. Too many madmen.
Bela Lugosi: This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: And cut! Print. We're moving on. That was perfect.
Ed Reynolds: Perfect? Mr. Wood, do you know anything about the art of film production?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Well, I like to think so.
Ed Reynolds: That cardboard headstone tipped over. This graveyard is obviously phony.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Nobody will ever notice that. Filmmaking is not about the tiny details. It's about the big picture.
Ed Reynolds: The big picture?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Yes.
Ed Reynolds: Then how 'bout when the policemen arrived in daylight, but now it's suddenly night?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: What do you know? Haven't you heard of suspension of disbelief?
Editor on Studio Lot: You forgot the octopus.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, no, I'm saving that for my big underwater climax.
Bela Lugosi: Pull the string! Pull the string!
[
on the reason for the success of 'Dracula(1931)']
Bela Lugosi: They were mythic. They had a poetry to them.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Yes.
Bela Lugosi: And you know what else? The women... the women preferred the traditional monsters.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: The women? Huh?
Bela Lugosi: The pure horror, it both repels, and attracts them, because in their collective unconsiousness, they have the agony of childbirth. The blood. The blood is horror.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: You know, I never thought of that.
Bela Lugosi: Take my word for it. If you want to make out with a young lady, take her to see "Dracula".
Bunny Breckinridge: I realized that I have to take action! Goodbye, penis!
Dolores Fuller: Could you please keep it down?
Vampira: You're watching our Halloween movie, "White Zombie", starring Bela Lugosi, John Harron, Madge Bellamy, and a bunch of other people I've never heard of.
Mars Attacks!:
President Dale: Why can't we work out our differences? Why can't we work things out? Little people, why can't we all just get along?
Richie Norris: I want to thank my Grandma for always being so good to me, and, and for helping save the world and everything.
Grandma Florence Norris: They blew up Congress! Ha ha ha ha!
Martian Translator Device: All green of skin... 800 centuries ago, their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. For the fundamental truth self-determination of the cosmos, for dark is the suede that mows like a harvest.