I would definitely recommend using epilators. I've been using one for a while now for my legs and underams (and bikini when i'm feeling brave and a bathing suit is in order!). Although it is painful the first few times you use it, the pain gets less and less every time. I would suggest that you have a professional wax on the areas where you want to get rid of hair, and then when the hairs start to grow back I would start using the epilator as regularly as you can. I use it approximately once a week to get the hairs as they grow then it's not such a big job and doesn't hurt as much. The hairs definitely grow back finer and more sparce and I find it a lot less messy than waxing, and less expensive than having a professional treatment every few weeks.
I have the Babyliss epilator (it comes with an ice attachment which I have never used because I always thought it would be more painful when the skin is cold, but I'm not sure)