Nicole Kidman: I lost Tom's baby when I was 23

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Nicole Kidman has revealed how she lost a baby early in her marriage to Tom Cruise.
The miscarriage, which she has never spoken about before, happened when she was 23.

But she was so desperate for a child that she and Cruise decided to adopt less than two years later.

Kidman makes the revelation in an interview with Vanity Fair magazine, in which she also admits she has wanted a child of her own since she was 17.

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Now 40 and married to country music star Keith Urban, she adds: “I'm yearning to have one. I think I would be very sad if I wasn't able to have a baby. Keith knows I want one, and he has been getting there slowly.”

Kidman has previously revealed that she discovered she was pregnant by Cruise after he filed for divorce in 2001 — but miscarried weeks later.

The couple had been plagued with rumours about their love life and possible reasons why they had not conceived. They adopted daughter Bella, now 14, and Connor, 12.

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Kidman says: “From the minute Tom and I were married, I wanted to have babies. And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic. And that's when it came that we would adopt Bella.

"There's a complicated background to that, given that I never speak much about many things. One day maybe that story will be told.”

She adds: “My mother has an adopted sister, so it's been part of our family, and I knew it would probably play out somewhere in mine. I didn't think it would happen so early, but it did.”

The star also reveals she became engaged to someone else between the split from Cruise and meeting Urban — fuelling speculation that the man may have been US tycoon Steve Bing or pop star Lenny Kravitz, both of whom she dated.

She says: “I got engaged to somebody … but it just wasn't right. I wasn't ready. We weren't ready.”

She admits she was “lonely” when she met Urban and tells of being alone after winning her best actress Oscar for The Hours.

“You're in a hotel and you're like, 'Okay, well, I'm sitting in this big suite with an Oscar and I still don't have a life — what is wrong with me? Who do I jump on the bed with, and celebrate with, and order pancakes with?' That was painful, not having that person to share it with.”

Of Urban, 39, she adds: “I would probably say that two very lonely people managed to meet at a time when they could open themselves to each other. We were a mixture of frightened and brave.”

Kidman insists they have come through the trauma of Urban's alcohol and drugs addiction. He entered rehab four months after their wedding last year.

She says: “We were in a very, very, very bad, painful place and have managed to step through it.”
 
Stories like this just prove that all the money in the world can't make you happy. But it's great that she adopted anyway, but I think every woman wants a part of her to live in a child that she created with someone she loves.
 
That's quite a beautiful piece despite the sadness.

Speculations about her and Tom (And miscarriages) are numerous so I guess I'm not surprised. I admire her honestly :smile:
 
i wish her a baby soon! it must be difficult not to have a biological child when you have wanted one for over 20 years :(
 
I am so curious to know who she was engaged to but didn't marry...
my money's on Lenny Kravitz.

I wish her the best!!
 
I'm kind of awestruck with how much she and Keith have been through, and gotten through, together in the little time they've been together. It seems strong now. I hope they can have a child together since it's what they want. I really admire Nicole for being vulnerable, and for being strong, too. It seems like it's forgotten that it is possible, and pretty normal, to be both.
 
I love how gutsy it was to break that icy perfect persona everyone sees and talk so openly about things that are extremely personal and sad.

Kinda makes me like her more.
 
It's a sad reality that many people have to face these days, not being able to have a child on their own. It must have been hard for her to open up about it. It seems like it will be a good article.

However, did they have to airbrush her breasts so much on the cover? They look way overdone.
 
Awww... I feel so bad for her. I have always loved Nicole, but I do respect her for being so brave. :flower:
 
I feel sad for her but details like that just don`t belong into the public!

Why does she come out with that after all these years? No new film Nicole? :doh:
 
^ Well, her last film did bomb...
I think she has another coming out soon.:innocent:
 
I feel sad for her but details like that just don`t belong into the public!

Why does she come out with that after all these years? No new film Nicole? :doh:

Maybe she feels ok to come out with it now, after 20 years. It has no affect on anyone, I think she is a wonderful and descreet person and maybe she feels like sharing her story when it no longer really matters. I mean, it's such a rare thing in our age when we find out the next day about anyone's marriages, miscarriages and suicide attempts. I also admire the fact that she never felt the need to say anything bad about Tom Cruise (and everyone makes fun of him these days!) , even though I'm sure she's got plenty of nasty stories to tell.
 
That's sad if it is true, but I'm with Heroin Chic on this one. I'm tired of celebrities letting us know their innermost secrets, especially if they claim they want privacy like Nicole has claimed in the past. How would you like it if a complete stranger on the other side of the world knew you had a miscarriage? That is what makes celebs so much more different than us. They know people will actually pay money to hear about their problems and they know they'll get tons coverage for it. I think it's sick to market yourself by telling a bunch of strangers stuff they have no business knowing about. Either that was Nicole's intention or she just wanted people to feel sorry for her. I hope she never again claims that she likes to maintain her privacy.
 
I think that not being able to conceive when you want a child is one of the most painful things in the world.
 
But didn't she famously have a miscarriage right before she and Tom split? The rumor mill had it being someone else's baby hence the split. So why harp on the 1st older miscarriage and not the later one? Plus the "there's a story to be told there" quote sounds ominous - why bring it up only to be so vague.

I tend to think that the harping on about having a baby could be hurtful to her other kids after all she did adopt them as babies and they are her children, she seems to loose sight of that in her desire to birth a child. She is lucky enough that she has been able to have 2 children to parent - not all women who struggle with infertility have the resources to adopt.
 

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