Recovery : A Former Shopaholics Thread

[softgrey]

^^^you can return any beauty product purchases at sephora...
i know for sure because i bought 7 mascaras to try and then returned all but 3 of them...
i bought with the full intention of returning whatever i didn't like...
the salesgirl told me to...
cause they were all so expensive and i was stressing about which one to choose...
i wanted to try before i invested so much money...
but you can't try mascara, you know?

i was pretty concerned that they wouldn't actually take the stuff back...
but no one even blinked an eye!...
*they write it off as a loss on their taxes, so they don't care...

**
btw- it's not a regular habit...
i've only done it that one time when i was obsessing about finding the best mascara...
that was about a year ago...
but i found the whole idea really interesting and appealing...
made me like sephora a lot more, actually...
...

 

[softgrey]

i think europeans might have more qualms about making returns. maybe they feel cowed. to them, it might be awkward. for Americans its old hat.

maybe that's true...
i can't say...

but the people i know who never return anything are all in the US...

i can see how returning could feel awkward if the sales people are rude about it...
but i never even try stuff on anymore, i just take it home to try it and then return what doesn't work...
so i have no qualms about it...
it's not like i spent hours in the store with them waiting on me hand and foot...
i just went in, paid and got out...


i know one person....well...maybe more than one actually...
who likes to just go and try stuff on...
without ever intending to buy a thing...
i hate that...
as someone who used to be in retail...
i have a lot of compassion for the sales staff and i don't ask any of them to help me unless i am pretty serious about making a purchase...
it's only fair...imo...

anyway-
trying stuff on is the danger zone...
cause if i don't try it on...
the chances that i can resist the purchase are much greater....
but if i put it on and it looks good...
well...i'm gonna buy it no matter what it costs...
if i don't try it on i can usually convince myself that it really wasn't that great anyway...
......

 

[Desi]

I took a few of the recommendations in this thread. Unsubscribed from a lot of mailinglist and selling off a handful of goods I do not really need in my wardrobe. Stalking is kind of impossible for me since I make 100% of my purchases online and the workers at my local post office are meanies.

 

[Betinapple]

I should be in this thread. It is not that I spend that much money (ahem..) or money I do not have, but I can almost always find something that I can not live without - and I MEAN can NOT live without. Somehow, I feel that I will be miserable if a certain item, that I am lusting, does not end up in my wardrobe, and then I "panic". I've been pretty good at returning things, but sometimes I end up wearing things a couple of times before realising that I could live without them.

I've thought about limiting myself; boycotting online shopping AND looking at online shops unless I NEED something, but I'm a style blogger, style and fashion is my hobby, and I love looking a clothes, without actually buying them, and I can spend 5-6 hours at real life shops just looking without being tempted to buy something, since I have developed a sincere want for nice quality, and have become rather picky.

I do not think that I am that bad, but I would like to learn that I CAN live without that gorgeous dress. I have to buy books for my education soon, and actually I feel guilty spending money on shoes and dresses, when I should save them for books.

What helps me is:

- Writing lists of outfits which can be made of things, which are already in my closet. Sometimes I make polyvore outfits as well or play dress up.
- Alterating clothes. Shortening dresses, changing buttons on shirts/cardigans, adding elbow patches to sweaters etc. I love sowing and it feels like getting new clothes.
- Re-organising my clothes. I love a clean, simple wardrobe.
- Selling the clothes I do not use
- Shopping for/with others. I love spending my girlfriends' money
- Making lists of what I want and more importantly NEED and staying focused. I use the 4-5 piece french wardrobe strategy, which have been wuite helpful.

 

[softgrey]

***i went into zara today....

and........................i didn't buy anything!!!...!!!...!!!...

...

 

[kimair]

^^^

that's great soft!

i am a big fan of stalking...
i can't tell you how many times i've gone into the barneys here and just did a tour around, briefly stopping to oogle the celine bags...
what's funny is there are only 3 SA's for bags on the main floor, and i know they're thinking "oh it's this crazy woman who comes in here and doesn't buy anything" (even though one of them sold me my ps1)...

i also take photos of things...the iphone is perfect for this...
then i can see if i can find it cheaper or if it will work with my existing wardrobe...

i have stopped getting so many fast-fashion pieces from h&m, zara, urban outfitters, etc. in favor of getting pieces that are better made with a longer lifespan...
i've also been looking at accessories from smaller designers or individual sellers for more unique pieces...
i cannot however, unsubscribe from all my email subscriptions...i get some styling ideas from them...

 

[Betinapple]

I actually think I'm doing really good.

Yesterday on my tour around the town I avoided going in to any thrift stores, because I know that thrift shopping is my biggest problem, since there is only one of every item. Also saw a great top at H&M, and even though it was insanely cheap, I told myself that I didn't need it, which is the truth. Feels gooood.

 

[ChrissyM]

kimair i'm the same with the email subscriptions...
i've begun deleting A LOT of them without opening but on occasion when i have time i do like to open them up and have a look

and i agree, they sometimes have some great styling that translates well for me.

*I haven't bought anything the last few times i've been to zara...
but that may be because the clothes often fit me weird
i've tried stuff on the last couple times and then left empty handed.
which was fine with me.
just goes to show that i didn't really want or need what i was trying on
and the fact that they didn't look/feel good on obviously makes them much less desirable.

 

[Tinetush]

I hate returning things, especially online. But this actually makes me rethink my purchases, and I often walk away empty handed. And if I really want it I will come back after a few days and get it. I actually think I have avoided buying quite a few things that I would never have worn this way.

Chrissy, I haven't bought anything from Zara for a long time either, often the fit is weird on me too, especially on some of the dresses. And I really think that a lot of the pieces have become overpriced.

 

[Betinapple]

@Chrissy: I often see great garnments from Zara - on others! When shopping in their stores I never find anything, and if I do, the fit is totally off. The only thing I ever bought at a Zara store is a scarf. Even though it can be a pain, if the clothing makes you love fabulous, I think trying stuff on sometimes can be a good "cure" - cause if it doesn't fit right, which things often do not do on me, because I'm curvy and small, it makes the desire to buy them go away.

 

[softgrey]

yay for all of us!...
...

kim- you are so funny about the bag stalking...
...

and i agree with you guys...
zara's fit is weirdly inconsistent and often wonky...
i just thought i might get a little cheapy thing to fill in a gap in my wardrobe...
but everything was just 'eh'...

i did kind of like this one pair of leggings though...
...
oh dear!..i might be in trouble...
two days later and still thinking about them...

you know what that means...~~~!!!...
.........

 

[ChrissyM]

^^

in my mind that usually means "i'm meant to have them" and i go back and get them...

if you're planning outfits in your head two days later then you know you'll get some use out of them

 

[Geostud]

Do any of you listen to/read Suze Orman? She said something before that really stuck in my head to reconsider purchases, "You have to learn to love to save as much as you love you to spend."

 

[kimair]

yep that to me is the sign you need them, especially if you're already planning outfits with them...

have you guys heard of the 30x30 remix?
you take 30 items in your closet and remix them into 30 outfits...
i've also seen people do it where it's not necessarily 30 items, but it's anything in your wardrobe...
so instead of shopping in a store, you're shopping your own closet...

i feel like the majority of the time when i was shopping, i would buy something that was either exactly like something i already have or very similar, and i would end up returning it (another hassle)...
even now i find things in my closet i forgot i had, and it's like i've rediscovered it and can't wait to pair it with other pieces (but not new pieces)...

 

[Lapin de Lune]

The quote about learning to love to save is excellent. My issue is that my income is sporadic rather than regular (freelance illustrator), so when I receive large payments I literally freeze and can't bring myself to spend. But then I also know that saving is a real hassle in my situation, because I can't predict or plan ahead too much, so there is this anxious desire to spend it whilst I have it - a torment!

I am currently pulling myself apart over two choices: a Mulberry bag or a new set of separates for autumn. I feel that the bag is more important (I currently don't possess a decent bag) and that it would be a much finer investment, yet the urge to add more separates to my wardrobe is winning at the moment. I tell myself that separates can always be purchased throughout the year, but a Mulberry bag only once in a rare blue moon for me - so perhaps the bag is the wisest idea since I can currently afford it.

Luckily, I am not feeling too spendthrift-y these days, and it takes me a long time to accumulate new additions to my wardrobe. Thanks to this attitude I am growing to love the clothes that I already have even more, and the planning for the future feels more exciting.

 

[softgrey]

well---
i went into a store today thinking i was going to buy something that i really shouldn't and spend more money on it that i should...

but the people in the store were so stupid and clueless that i got so annoyed and just left with nothing...

so i just want to say -thank you- to the stupid and clueless retail sales staff...
you just saved me about $300...!!!
...

 

[Desi]

i bought a Number (N)ine tanktop. Also a store that was sold out of a pair of sale boots I wanted, had got a return. Didn't purchase them yet.

otherwise I have been doing pretty good.

 

[luckyme]

yep that to me is the sign you need them, especially if you're already planning outfits with them...

have you guys heard of the 30x30 remix?
you take 30 items in your closet and remix them into 30 outfits...
i've also seen people do it where it's not necessarily 30 items, but it's anything in your wardrobe...
so instead of shopping in a store, you're shopping your own closet...

as much as i love this idea its way too much work...but on the same par i do tend to "flush" out each season when i change my closet over, and that lends itself to revisiting what i forgot i had.

i do love susie orman's advice, but i have to say youth and retirement are galaxies away when this concept come into practice these days.

 

[cologne_rocks]

I have two big problems.

1. I always plan weeks in advance what kind of "expensive item" I'm going to purchase next. I hate it. I already know that my money for October will turn into a Dries van Noten bag and some Burberry scarf. I don't include basic stuff from Zara, COS etc in my "calculations". I really want to stop buying expensive stuff, I'm a 19yo student, I actually can't afford a bag for 1000€.

2. I often do not ever wear the stuff I buy...

 

[Desi]

^similar to me because I too plan out my purchases months in advance. But i have to wear what I buy unless it simply does not fit or is some type of "fashion party" item.