Recovery : A Former Shopaholics Thread

[Psylocke]

I'm curious to know why you people want to recover? I'm quite addicted to online shopping but it's too much fun for me to even consider slowing down

I'm actually what you would call a smart shopper, though. I browse through all my favorite online shops when the new season stuff comes in, I receive e-mail on any new arrivals and - no kidding - I keep a handwritten list (that's usually about 6 pages long, haha) of all the things I want to get at the end of the season when the sales are on. I keep looking up the things on my list to see if I still desire it enough or else I'll cross it off. By the end of the season I try to get the things that I still crave and that did go on sale. (I think I might be an OCD shopahlic )
I rarely make any impulse purchases unless I go to outlets where 'stalking' an item usually isn't really an option.
But in spite of this sounding rather sensible I'm still only a student with a limited budget that buys only designer stuff, which still seems crazy to most people. Of course I make sure I don't go into debt but I do have to make a hell lot of sacrifices to be able to buy the things I want, but I'm completely fine by that.


Did being a shopaholic become a serious problem for any of you or do you just think it's not a good thing to spend so much time on money on something as unimportant as clothes and shoes?

 

[softgrey]

^^^keep doing what you are doing and talk to me in 15 years or so...
when you have so many clothes that you can't even remember everything that's in your closet...

 

[kimair]

I'm actually what you would call a smart shopper, though. I browse through all my favorite online shops when the new season stuff comes in, I receive e-mail on any new arrivals and - no kidding - I keep a handwritten list (that's usually about 6 pages long, haha) of all the things I want to get at the end of the season when the sales are on. I keep looking up the things on my list to see if I still desire it enough or else I'll cross it off. By the end of the season I try to get the things that I still crave and that did go on sale. (I think I might be an OCD shopahlic )

i actually used to do this before the advent of the interwebs...
i always walk around with a notebook and i would add in a list of everything i wanted to get...i would do this every month, then carry over anything i didn't get to the next month...
sometimes i would realize i didn't need something on the list, and i would drop it, or i would find it in end-of-season sales...

i don't think there's anything wrong with being a "smart" shopper, but there is a different between "smart" and "compulsive"
i found myself buying things i didn't need or something trendy that didn't fit in with my wardrobe...
i've tried to eliminate those purchases, and being able to take photos of things definitely helps...

 

[Psylocke]

^Glad I'm not the only one who's so fussy when it comes to compiling wishlists
Another good thing about online shopping is that when I'd have something on my list for months and then I see it irl and it looks nothing like I'd expected it to look like or I try it on and it look awful on me. It's so relieving to be able to cross off some more things off the list

I've never been one to buy lots of "cheap" things at H&M or Zara, generally don't buy trendy stuff so I'm glad about that. I've bought a few H&M basics in the past that I ended up wearing only once or twice because they shrunk so much or the color faded too much that I didn't bother doing that again...

^^^keep doing what you are doing and talk to me in 15 years or so...
when you have so many clothes that you can't even remember everything that's in your closet...

...which is why this probably won't happen to me I spend a lot of money on clothes but I never end up having much clothes because I buy few but expensive pieces, my closet is in fact pretty empty But I can see what you mean, opening your closet every morning and looking at tons of things you can't help but ask yourself why they're even there and being quite certain that you don't need even half of them, that's probably sort of irksome.

The reason why I asked is because I feel like so many people condemn people who cite fashion and going shopping as one of their hobbies and I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. Like when less successful people complain about rich daughters and wives who do nothing but go shopping every day. I don't see why people automatically assume they must have some sort of a complex or disorder, if going shopping is something you enjoy and you don't purchase things you can't afford, why not?
I know I will spend a majority of my paycheck on shoes and clothes once I'm working full time and have more money and I'm not sure I'll feel all that guilty about it

But softgrey is probably right, I'll look at it differently in a few years' time

 

[The_Ida]

I hope I won't be buying too much stuff when I go on full time. Because I'll be able to buy A LOT. And really...I like browsing more than shopping. I just don't see the point in owning a massive amount of stuff I guess.

 

[The_Ida]

I think the whole not owning too much stuff thing is a Scandinavian way of thinking. I remember Oprah did a show on Denmark, she went to some lady's apartment and asked very surprised "But where is all your stuff?!"

 

[softgrey]

psylocke---
don't get me wrong...i am a very selective shopper...i almost never purchase anything on impulse...i consider each piece quite carefully...
i bought my first designer piece at the age of 19...
a donna karan blazer...
in fact---i bought three...plus a skirt to match...

---it's not what you think...they were more than 1/2 off retail...
*i had a good job and i was just starting to make some real money of my own...
and that is the only thing i cared to spend it on...and some music...

i am now 40+ and i still have all of those pieces...
that should give you an idea of what we're talking about...

everything in my closet is good...and i love each piece for a different reason...
that is why it's there...
it's just that over many years...it does start to add up...



in terms of the way i shop...
i am more of a gatherer...
*the way you describe yourself is more of a hunter mentality--usually associated with male shoppers
but maybe you have more of a mathematical/analytical mind so it's fun for you...
that i can understand...
it's how a stylist would put together a story actually---
making a list of everything they want for the shoot and crossing it off the list as you go...making changes as necessary, etc...
except in a much shorter span of time, of course!......

i am always exploring and looking at what's out there...
which inevitably leads to some amazing discoveries...
and that is when it's hard to stop myself from buying yet another skirt, sweater, etc...
because there are so many really beautiful things in the world...
but my favourite things are always beautifully designed garments...

so-
yes...sometimes i can't help myself...and now i have a lot of stuff...
...

 

[ChrissyM]

psylocke maybe you're just not a true shopaholic then

you sound like a smart shopper with your lists etc.

other things start to gain more importance as you get older and your priorities shift so it's nice to know that you didn't buy a bag/shoes/whatever that you wanted but didn't need when an unexpected expense pops up and you have the money to take care of it.

i had bought a pair of white jeans for $70 (paige jeans that i got at tjmaxx) that needed to be shortened for me to wear them and i just had them in the bag on my closet door handle for the last couple months, unworn and unaltered.
i returned them yesterday and although they were nice jeans it made no sense to hold onto them.

i got a store credit that i'm sure i'll use at some point but i would rather use that $70 on something else than have those jeans hanging in my closet until next spring when the weather starts to warm up again.

 

[softgrey]

^^wht jeans are so hard to wear anyway...
plus- all you need to do is sit down in something once and they are trash...

i think that was probably the right decision...

 

[ChrissyM]

^^

exactly! was an easy choice once i actually opened up the bag
just took me a while to actually take action

glad i did though.
i actually picked up a catherine malandrino dress with an abstract american flag print (colors were more pink and blue/grey than red/white/blue) for $20 but i tried it on last night when i got home and i'm pretty sure it's going back.
even though it was heavily discounted at only $20 i know i have better stuff in my closet that i would choose instead of it every time.

decision made - it's definitely going back

 

[cologne_rocks]

Does anyone have a strategy on how to limit shopping excessess? I'm planning to spend money for clothes only if I richly deserve it... Let's say when I get good examination marks or when I have managed to slow down smoking etc

 

[softgrey]

well- i would like to point out that shopping does not always need to mean spending...
or buying...

shopping is the process of looking...
so i say---look, but don't touch...
pretend your are at a museum or something and just enjoy the view...

 

[Psylocke]

Very interesting points, softgrey and ChrissyM!

softgrey: Funny you say that's usually the way guys shop. Whenever I go shopping with my best friend I get so annoyed because he makes all these ridiculous impulse purchases, like buying a Rick Owens leather jacket or an Etro winter coat without needing it or really even knowing who the designers are or anything. I think if you do get a really expensive designer item it has to mean something to you, if you only buy it because it's expensive...
I did study Mathematics at University, so that is probably accurate about me being a analytical shopper And I wish I could shop like a stylist, the way I shop it takes about a year to put together a perfect outfit
It sounds like you have one hell of an amazing closet, though. I love that you keep all the things because they mean something to you. And if they've been holding up well for so long then I guess they were worth the money. But I assume that's what you're trying to say, that you have everything one needs and yet you still feel the need to get more stuff.


ChrissyM: Haha, yeah, maybe I'm just someone that loves shopping a lot rather than someone who's really addicted to it. What makes me think I'm a shopaholic are the lazy Sundays where I can spend 10 hours doing nothing but browsing through all my favorite online shops
That's unfortunate when you buy something and you end up realizing you don't need it at all and you're never going to wear it. Good thing you could return the items. But in that case I'd definitely say it's wiser to spend the money on something more important.

It's also good to know that there is eBay where you could still sell a designer item that you never wear if you ever end up regretting the purchase or if you need money for something else.

 

[softgrey]

yeah- i don't think anyone in this thread is actually a shopaholic that needs to be in some recovery program......
it's more of a tongue in cheek title to just keep us on budget and on target...
to encourage thoughtful purchases rather than impulse buys that will wind up on the closet floor or in a giveaway bag...

i see too many people just buying stuff and buying stuff and buying stuff...without even really thinking---
then the next day or weekend they are at it again...
*and then they often feel sick and guilty afterwards...

i feel sad when i see that...
most people like that don't even really appreciate what they have...
because they are always looking for something else...
...

i think now is a good time to start doing what kim was talking about...
pulling stuff out of the closet and trying things on to see how to wear them for fall...
the new season always brings new opportunities for new looks...


i got a lot of things at the end of season this year---
so i have a lot of new things that i have been waiting to wear when the air gets more of a chill...
i hope that will keep me busy enough to avoid purchasing anything new ---
at least for a little while!...

...

 

[lucy92]

maybe a good strategy is creating an excel spreadsheet with items you want to purchase, their retail price, possible shopping locations, how much you are willing to spend on each item etc.

if you have a long list in front of you, maybe it will dawn on you how much stuff you actually need vs. want.

 

[softgrey]

i hear about people doing that...
sounds very ocd to me and not very fun at all...
excel is my least favourite program...
...

i would rather make a picture book on polyvore-for example...
so then you see how it all works together and know what you really need and what is extra---

but yeah- that isn't really keeping track of the $$ so much...

 

[Tinetush]

I actually do that in Word. I write down what I want. approximately how much I am willing to pay for it. Where I might find it. And then I put in a picture of the exact thing of something that resembles.

I also prioritize by making the font another color.
And I categorize by season.

 

[runner]

well- i would like to point out that shopping does not always need to mean spending...
or buying...

shopping is the process of looking...
so i say---look, but don't touch...
pretend your are at a museum or something and just enjoy the view...

yes shopping is a combination of emotions, thoughts, and experiences
like pleasure in art

 

[softgrey]

thank you---i'm glad you understand what i mean runner...
the entire experience of shopping can be enjoyable...
it's not necessarily about making a purchase every time...

it may be compared to going to see some lovely animals in the zoo
vs. going into the woods and killing one to bring home!...


this is a good rule of thumb:
*only kill as much as you can eat---
*only buy as much as you can wear---

...

 

[advo]

I think the whole not owning too much stuff thing is a Scandinavian way of thinking. I remember Oprah did a show on Denmark, she went to some lady's apartment and asked very surprised "But where is all your stuff?!"

I think I read somewhere that you use 20% of your clothes 80% of time.

For me, this step is just something I need to do to cull my nasty habit of buying clothes and shoes that I don't actually wear. I've never put myself in debt or anything, but I find it harder to get dressed now than in the past, because I have so much clothes! It's like if you only own one blouse, then you know that's your only option but if you own 10 then you suddenly have to make 10 yes/no decisions just to decide if you want to wear a blouse over a top today. Or, if you own 10 LBDs like I do, it actually works counterintuitively of the usual idea of a LBD.