Revising the stereotype article

[Avant Garde]

Scans by me, from a local chinese american newspaper

 

[gius]

my parents are exactly the same. they've decided they would only pay for my tuition and living expenses if i were to choose a profession they agreed with. now i'm doing everything myself, saving my own money, so i can pursue this kind of education. it's hard but i can't think of wasting 4 years of my life in something i don't even like, even if it will give me some money so i can pursue my dream later. i'd rather do it now

 

[kem]

thank you acant garde for posting this.. i enjoyed reading it

 

[Avant Garde]

Your welcome Kem

 

[susie_bubble]

A very interesting read....but it didn't seem very coherent. What is the point she is trying to make? That Chinese parents are wrong about the arts sector? That fashion school is tough? Didn't seem to conclude very well.

I have to say though, this view of Chinese parents still prevails as most of my Chinese friends were practically forced into doing whatever course they're doing.

My parents on the other hand are WAY more liberal. They encouraged me to go for what I enjoyed and what I'm interested in. They had no idea what the hell I was going to do with a history degree (neither did I!) but they accepted it and thought it was great. My sister is at St. Martins and they're also equally happy with her.

My family and I always laugh about how narrow-minded some Chinese people can be about the 'right' career and the 'right' schools. Getting an econ degree doesn't always guarantee great jobs.

 

[Caffeine]

^Chinese parents do so with a strong reason. For generations, the Chinese are disadvantaged financially and politically. Without strong financial background, the only resources the Chinese parents can provide is education and helping their kids to gain fortune. As an average Chinese family, it doesn't have the money to support an artist from college on. Many college students from the rural area have to learn technical skills to be able to make money to pay for the tuition. Without the narrow minded Chinese parents, there wouldn't be sufficient engineers and financial professionals to support a 9% GDP growth every year.

In a micro level, I wouldn't be able to come to MIT after college to see a different country and learn how things can be done in a more efficient way if my parents didn't guide/force me to work so hard on my career. My parents accepted my choice to study architecture in college. But it was very difficult for them to afford my education. Luckily architecture is a hot major so I was able to make money by working for developers. Looking at the students in art schools, they all have well-off parents to support whatever they do. In my cousin's case, her mom (far more richer than my mom) supports her liberal art passion all the time and she spent lots of money for my cousin to get the best instructors. But my cousin is never able to work her way up. She is only three years younger than me and she is still living with her mom spending her money. Choice comes with a price.

The parents will tend to be more liberal if they have the financial resources to support the kids to do whatever they want and support a potential failure in the kids' career (in my cousin's case). In most of cases though, Asian parents are tough on career choices because they want to make sure their kids will be independent and successful. It's not necessarily a bad thing and I don't think that those parents deserve to be laughed at.

 

[susie_bubble]

^I apologise if I have offended you Caff. But unfortunately, I come from a background of 'newpsie' type parents where they can ALL afford to allow their kids freedom to choose a course and do not rely on their kids for financial support. This is what kills me.......... they are stiffling their children and voluntarily pushing them away by forcing a major on them and giving that 'Econ or no uni at all' ultimatum. Then the parents start crying off about 'Their kids not respecting them and running away' (which has happened on more than one occasion). Which is why, (and I will say it again...don't shoot!), the situation is mildly laughable because the solution is staring them in their face and yet they're too obstinate to see it. They want to push their kids away in favour of having their kids get a degree certificate in Engineering?

Furthermore, I think it does need to be made aware in not just Chinese society (Indians/Pakistanis also share this belief) that a 'liberal arts' degree does not necessarily mean you are wasting more money than if you were doing a 'hot major' or a science-based degree nor are your prospects more bleak. I am biased, I did History so I suppose that counts as a 'liberal art'. However, the choices open to a say history/English major are wider than if you were in medics where the only route is to become a doctor or a biology degree. There's more to the job world than 'the professions'.

At least here in the UK, a BA in History will cost 3 times less than a degree in medicine. Yet I don't see people who graduate in the liberal arts as flounderers who leech off their parents. I understand if people use the liberal arts as an escape from 'those subjects' then yes, these people should be ashamed of themselves for wasting their parents time, money and effort. But barring people from their passions who truly are passionate about a subject is just ridiculous especially when they can support their children's education, regardless of subject.

 

[Caffeine]

^you know, they are just being parents. They raised the kids and they spent all the $$ they make for the kids. It is what it is. I simply think that they shouldn't be laughed.

Here is how I look at it: as long as they pay for college, they have THE right to decide where they put the money at. The kids have the right to decide what they want to learn, but it is totally natural for the parents to say, "hey, we're not gonna pay if you study xxx major!". If the kids are passionate enough, they will take a loan and go with their passion, or get in the engineering major and have them fed. It's the kids' choice, not the parents. The parents' behavior is just part of the Chinese culture, and don't laugh at it. Just accept it while make your own choice.

 

[PrincessImp.]

Avant Garde, thank you for such an interesting article.
Unfortunately I was unable to read it in its entirety as one of the scans is not working for me.

Caffeine, susie, I think both of you made very good points though they may appear to be conflicting.
Yes, parents should not force their kids to major in the sciences/engineering just so to get a stable job when they start working (At least I think this is one of the points the article's writer is trying to make, judging from the gist of the posts.) But they do so, because they are being parents, ie they want the best for their children - even though it may go against what they(the children) want.

Bottomline is, parents just want their kids to heed their advice, as a lot of them think they know better. This opinion may not always be right, as everyone has a right to pursue what they love, but this mentality is especially prevalent in my part of the world, ie South-east Asia. That is not to say that parents will not support their children's college education in the liberal arts, should that be their children's choice. Examples of these extreme behaviour are a rarity nowadays, most parents will support their kids through college as they understand the importance of education.

For me, I am a software engineer. But I have chosen this path not because I was forced by my parents but because it was something that I wanted to do. I am lucky in the sense that I have parents who want the best for me and yet respect my decisions.

 

[susie_bubble]

^you know, they are just being parents. They raised the kids and they spent all the $$ they make for the kids. It is what it is. I simply think that they shouldn't be laughed.

Here is how I look at it: as long as they pay for college, they have THE right to decide where they put the money at. The kids have the right to decide what they want to learn, but it is totally natural for the parents to say, "hey, we're not gonna pay if you study xxx major!". If the kids are passionate enough, they will take a loan and go with their passion, or get in the engineering major and have them fed. It's the kids' choice, not the parents. The parents' behavior is just part of the Chinese culture, and don't laugh at it. Just accept it while make your own choice.

I think I still have the right to scoff at it.
I don't understand this 'Chinese Culture' excuse because this ignorance about other subjects apart from 'science' or 'professional' subjects is prevalent in other South Asian cultures too. It is Confucian philosophy to always respect your parents but he also talked about freewill too.

I do not blame these people for thinking the way they do but I will never understand their reasoning and I'm sorry to say I will always pity them because they have pushed their kids away with their actions - all for what? A bloody subject change!

PrincessImp - You also make some good points. And yes, I do understand parents wanting the best but unfortunately narrowminded-ness about the range of 'suitable' subjects can be obscuring their vision and perhaps a girl who really wants to study English is not able to make her parents see that 'Actually yes, English is a very good major'. I just find that sad.

Anyways....I'm kinda done with this subject coz I feel like I'm repeating myself.

Caff: Don't think I'm not grateful to my parents for tuition but I've just seen some miserable ppl doing degrees that they were forced into practically wanting to kill themselves by the end of it - it's not a pretty sight. I've seen parent-child rifts caused by such arguments. My parents are the closest ppl to me in the world and I just don't think any of this is worth it.