Shauna Sand

[labellevie]

She puts my name to shame...

(my name is Shauna)
But my last name is not Lamas.

 

[Kenysha75]

I know that was a few months ago. But you mean for the purpose of entertainment value?

Maybe...

 

[Kenysha75]

aCTUALLY shes a beautiful woman if you take all the trash clothes and make up but I guess that is the just the way she likes to present herself to the world...

 

[crow_watcher]

^Include removing the collagen from her lips and all that other "added" stuff? Yes, she IS a good looking woman.

 

[crow_watcher]

She puts my name to shame...

(my name is Shauna)
But my last name is not Lamas.

Shauna is a beautiful name . Shauna Lamas does that to herself.

 

[Kenysha75]

The Lucite Belle Of The p*rn Ball

The AVN Awards, which is the Oscars but with less STDs and more elegance, was held in Las Vegas last night, and of course the Empress of Lucite was the glistening load everybody bathed in. Shauna won several awards including: Best Performance by an Angel in a Staged Sex Tape That Was Leaked On Purpose, Best Performance by a Lucite Heel, Best Religious Experience and Best Horror Movie.

While the other p*rn starlets wore custom-made gowns from the Flirt Catalog, Shauna kept it real in vintage Fredrick's of Hollywood. And by "vintage," I mean it had a few cu* stains on the crot*h.


The Empress wasn't going to even bother putting on a dress. Clothes would have gotten in the way when she found herself in a men's room stall with a strange dude at the end of the night. When Shauna pulled the purple string off one of her ankles, her elegant ensemble came off and an already lubed up condom fell out of her va*.

Here's more freshwater pearls from last night's AVNs including: April Flores, Dave Navarro, Lisa Ann, Ron Jeremy, Sasha Grey, a ginge beauty in JLo's old Grammy dress, and Margaret Cho.

dlisted.com

 

[rosalynn]

Oh my god, it's like a monster's ball

 

[Rebe]

oh god, don't know what to say

 

[alicia753]

I'm pretty speachless

 

[IAmLordZen]

I honestly don't find her surgery-enhanced body appealing, and how does she walk on that heels? her feet must be sore all the time. And goodness, that bee-stung lips look sooooo exaggerated!

 

[Kenysha75]

Lucite Angel On The Water

Haul out the holly, because March 21st is officially my new Christmas! I have already been gifted with pictures of Chicken Cutlets sunning her hot cross buns in Malibu, and now here's pictures of Shauna Sand riding a jet ski like a graceful lucite angel dolphin gliding through clouds made of diamond dust. That's not water splashing. That's the jet-ski orgasming, because it had the epitome of elegance on its back. Cancel church, because here we have the father, the son, and the holy lucite.

Here's more of the Empress of Lucite and her new subservient in Miami yesterday. And you know that I'd lick CHERYL BURKE'S mop head if Shauna commanded me to, but she really needs to send that beat down Louis Vuitton bag to the Natural History Museum already. It's pretty much an artifact.
dlisted

 

[crow_watcher]

^Clear heels on the beach? This woman someday will be 70 years old walking with a cane in clear heels. Can you imagine the sight?

 

[crow_watcher]

LMAO@ myself. Everytime I see her, it's like you see something good that took a wrong turn somewhere, and came back tainted. But I do see she was an attractive woman. Thats the shame part of it all, in my opinion.

 

[Persephone G.]

Stripper shoes on the beach? Stay classy, Shauna.

 

[onehotgrrl]

Love the leopard Louis. barf

 

[Kenysha75]

The Exact Moment When A Young Boy Learns What Natural Beauty Really Is
In 20 years when this boy is standing at the altar getting ready to marry a half melted dildo with hair like a scarecrow's nut bush, lips like the swollen anus of a power bottom gorilla and breasts that look like two basketballs made out of salmon jerky, he'll think fondly of the moment he gazed upon the Empress of Lucite and vowed to make a beauty like her his wife one day.

And also in 20 years, I'll be pouring Ensure and blended Mother's Circus Animal Cookies into my feeding tube while a nurse reads me the previous sentence from a book titled: THE WORST SENTENCES EVER WRITTEN IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING. Memories.

Here's Shauna Sand and one of her lucite courtesans, fellow p*rn star Taylor Wayne, charming a young boy in South Beach yesterday afternoon. This is just like that scene in 8 1/2 where the young Italian boy learns about love from the local beach wh*re. But instead of local beach whores, the young boy above is learning about love and beauty from the modern day versions of Venus and Aphrodite.

Warning: There's a few bare nipples in the pictures below, so don't be surprised if you suddenly get a craving for grilled pepperonis and goat milk.
dlisted.com

 

[crow_watcher]

^This is a a sad statement, but Shauna is the better looking out of the two--women. Truly a SAD statement.

 

[Kenysha75]

More Like "Exquisite Angel Rehab"

Unless you're my neighbor who is staring at me through his window with binoclausrs, you can't tell that I'm dancing in front of my laptop in lucite heels, because God has sent down a virgin dove from heaven to deliver a very important message to the world: THE EMPRESS OF LUCITE IS GOING TO BE ON CELEBRITY REHAB!!!!!!! The clouds in my world had gone dark after Rue McClanahan's death, but a light wrapped in lucite is now shining through.

TMZ says that Shauna has clicked her exquisite lucite heels and is floating to Dr. Drew's rehab facility in Pasadena right now. They didn't say if her addiction is to lucite or elegant ensembles from the Frederick's of Hollywood outlet, but I have a feeling Shauna is just doing this out of the goodness of her saintly heart. Shauna heard that the show is in danger of being sent to the guillotine because they didn't have any big celebrities, so she decided to lend her A-list (DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH!) name so that the show can go on. The Empress of Lucite's heart is as giving as her vagina. The Mother Theresa of p*rn stars.

Shauna will join a cast that already includes Tila Tequila, Gummi Bear and Jason Wahler. See what I mean? It's like fine caviar fresh out of a beluga's vagina surrounded by rotten pieces of government cheese that have been nibbled on by rabies infested rats.

But Vh1 should really consider changing the name, because Shauna Sand is more than a celebrity. She's nothing short of an angelic goddess with hair that resembles the waterfalls in heaven. So yeah, a name change is needed.
Dlisted

 

[Kenysha75]

Stunning As Always....

Since Dlisted is my personal scrapbook where I collect pictures of Shauna Sand to show the young girl I become in charge of after a distant relative leaves her to me in the event of their death (that was a movie, right?), here's the exquisite lucite one spreading her beauty in Hollywood yesterday.

When my new daughter (I'll rename her Concepcion Lucite) is rolling me a joint, I will show her these pictures and tell her this is what a refined lady looks like. This is what she should perspire (typo and it stays) to become. I'll tell her not to listen to other people who say she needs to get a degree and become a lawyer or some shi*. No, all she needs to do is get a pair of exquisite lucite heels and the cheapest bathing suit she can find in the clearance bin at a stripper clothing store on 8th Street. Everything else will fall into place.

And now if you'll excuse me, some annoying as* won't stop knocking on my door. Wait. Can Child Protective Services pay you a visit even if you don't have a kid yet?
dlisted

 

[Kenysha75]

August 23rd 2010 "The Empress Of Flip Flops" Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It

New York is wetter than a Twihard's panties on Edward Cullen's fake born day, and it's obviously due to the fact that the gloriously beautiful Empress of Lucite defied all laws of natures by wearing FLIP FLOPS in Miami this past weekend!!! And not even elegant platform flip flops! Just basic flip flop farted out of the dry as*hole of any Big Lots!

This is a sight that makes my eyes (and everything) sore! Actually, my everything was already sore, but let's not tip toe into that topic when there's more important news to deal with!

When Shauna Sand doesn't wear her exquisite lucite stilts to heaven, the angels up above don't have a clear view of her stunning "sculpted by Michelangelo from a block of silicone" face. Because of this, the angels have begun their "We Weep For Lucite" world tour. So you better channel your inner Mike Holmes and start working on your floating shack, because the angels are not going to stop.
dlisted