QUOTABLES (HUGE THIS WEEK!)
"I have to say, I am very inspired that both of you are showing that celibacy is a viable option for teens who simply aren't ready for intimacy and those who are older and terrified of the hose monster." -- Emma
"Wait, cucumbers can give you AIDS?" -- Finn
"I really hope [sexy is] not one of the requirements for Regionals, because with Berry and those tights, we don't stand a chance." -- Santana
"I get my information from Woody Woodpecker cartoons." -- Brittany
"I'm so turned on right now." -- Puck
"Just remember, when you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've had sex with. And everybody's got a random." -- Holly Holliday
"Just picking up some coffee. I like my enemas piping hot." -- Sue
Emma: I look forward to the opportunity to nail her to the wall.
Beiste: [
Laughs]
Emma: You know what I mean.
"You're finally going to let me motorboat those twins?" -- Puck
"I want to be like a Kardashian. I want a TV show and a fragrance. It will be called Zizes, and the slogan will be 'You just got Ziced!'" -- Lauren
"If your lovemaking prowess is as impressive as your skills of deduction, I'm in for a wild night." -- Lauren
Brittany: I really like when we make out and stuff...
Santana: …which isn't cheating because…
Brittany: …the plumbing is different.
Brittany: This relationship is really confusing for me.
Santana: Breakfast is confusing for you.
Brittany: Sometimes it's sweet and sometimes it's salty. Like, what if I have eggs for dinner? What is it?
"My sex tape with J.D. Salinger was a disaster." -- Holly
"I made out with a mannequin. I even had a sex dream about a shrub that was just in the shape of a person." -- Santana
"I'm damaged goods. Yes, it makes me terrific in bed, but it also means I tend to break men like you into Wasa crackers." -- Holly
"You get tenses for menses." -- Emma
"You're the biggest French wh*re of them all." -- Quinn
"My lips are sealed -- just like your legs." -- Holly
"Once, on a dare, I swallowed a thumbtack. And I'm 90 percent sure it's still there." -- Puck
"I like wooing you. Next to dropping my afternoon deuce, it's my favorite part of the day." -- Puck, the romantic
"I can make them into shapes like balloon animals." -- Puck re: hickeys
"The key is to use the curling iron in the bathtub to keep yourself from getting burnt." -- Brittany
"I want to make sure all the dances are what I call 'Finn-proof.'" -- Will
ONTD
) 
). chord did sound like an idiot is some parts 
