I thought Ted this morning had a really interesting take on the split
http://www.eonline.com/Gossip/Awful/Daily2005/051130.html
Yep, you heard it last week and
prolly
choked on your turkey dinner. Mr. and Mrs.
Nick Lachey are no longer. It's sad, I know. Hope is a nice thing, and who needs
more bad family news at this time of the damn year?
But don't cry all over yer candied yams just yet. Ya see, there is
nothing remotely sudden about this split. Obviously. I was hearing about this back last spring from insiders on
Newlyweds--that J. 'n' N. were planning on separating then, but they had professional obligations to fulfill first.
Shame, really. I actually like them both. One of the least full-of-themselves duos I've met out here in Tinseltown. Too bad. Think they can work it out? Me neither.
Now, let's bypass all the more recent rag-reports that predicted this bustup and go back even further than last spring. Something was most telling...
I mean
way way back, as in
years past.
Tiger Beat magazine offices. 1999. A young and hardly
Britney Spears-level success Jess-babe sits in the lobby of the teen-mag HQ alongside her pop,
Joe Simpson. (Oh, and as long as we're mentioning
Missus Kevin Federline, doll-cup, you might want to ring up your hubby--I think he's got somethin' to tell you). Joe pushes. He tells the editors that his daughter
will be famous. He says they are
never gonna give up until this sensational fact occurs. He reminds the editors that Jessica is a rare commodity, i.e., a wholesome virgin. The gals on the
Beat are stunned by the dad's personal declaration.
And in the end, Jess
did certainly become a goofy bombshell of a star. But perhaps it wasn't entirely because of Pop's pure-style push. Maybe more do to with Jess' marriage?
I'd say so. And that's why, if you ask
moi, these two were kinda doomed from day one of the in-house TV show. I mean, after ya get famous off your wedding, there's really only two options: Make a baby. Or break it off.
And in the end, Jess
did certainly become a goofy bombshell of a star. But perhaps it wasn't entirely because of Pop's pure-style push. Maybe more do to with Jess' marriage?
I'd say so. And that's why, if you ask
moi, these two were kinda doomed from day one of the in-house TV show. I mean, after ya get famous off your wedding, there's really only two options: Make a baby. Or break it off.
All we can do now is hope. Jess-babe, please don't spend every non-hungover sec boozing it up with
Johnny Knoxville or that
Ashlee sista of yours. Or
Bam. Or
Steve-O.
Oy, can ya believe
that lineup?
As for you Nick-hon, I'll pay ya to give up on the whole music-makin' thang and find some new biz angle to go at. Actually, wait. I won't pony up anything until you also learn how to walk into a bar without giving every chick in the joint yer horny, droolin' glance.
Actually, wait again. Now that they're single, Nick and Jess can do whatever they damn want. Just be safe, kids, 'kay?
Papa Simpson wants the whole world to grieve with him...he just lost 1/2 of his cash cow
Oh sh**....^
His so-called "career" is going down the tubes fast. Pretty soon he will be an even more microscopic blip on the radar. Poor thing....
