muttons, lambs and the big 40

[newprincesita]

Hi! I hope this interests some of you....

I was wondering the other day what adjustments should a woman do in her wardrobe when she arrives around 40 years old.

I know nobody SHOULD do anything, I don´t mean there are LAWS everybody must follow like sheep.... but there are some things that don´t look good anymore when you grow older...I mean that kind of advice.

When I see "a mutton dressed as a lamb" I can´t help but wonder...¿does she realize how silly she looks? ¿does she still see herself as a teenager? ¿what´s inside her mind? ¿What does she see really?

But then again it´s quite easy to make mistakes because times passes so quickly and you still feel young inside and if you still have a nice body you can really commit some big mistakes, I mean...sometimes you delude yourself without really wanting to.... Some people are colour blind other are age blind.

What do you think?

What would be your advice for a stylish 40 something....?

 

[Curious]

- lose the mini skirts (exception if you have astonishing legs and use hosiery )
- NO mid-riffs... if you didn't dump them at 30 that is


I'm sure there's more, but those are the 2 biggies off the top of my head!

 

[fashionista-ta]

garnethill.com

I totally hear you, newprincesita ... I have been contemplating this myself of late I am in fact wearing something myself today that I think is rapidly closing in on too young for me ... I bought it mail order so who knew? But it looks very Alice in Wonderland on me ... it's this skirt in black:



I'm kind of thinking one should ditch "girly" or "girlish" looks around that age, but I am still giving thought to the matter What do you guys think?

 

[trip]

hi, at forty i asked myself the same questions. 12 years down the line, i am living by the answers! it's pretty simple actually. simplify is the key word here. lose the trimmings. look at cut and line. get a great haircut (not necessarily short but cut if you know what i mean) invest in bags, shoes and coats/jackets. your jeans are fine forever. t-shirts need to go up in quality and down in trendy details. ditto dresses. lose the ditsy prints and ruffles. a ruffled top is ok paired with something tailored and sharp. tone down the makeup and jewels (jewellery can be terribly aging) furs should be worn as nonshalantly as possible (see carine roitfeld for tips, ignore anna wintour)if your bod is good, keep the bikini but make it a bit more substantial. def get rid of mini skirts and any that fall to the calf. knee length or to the ankles are the only way to go now in order to avoid matrondom. anything too pretty, too girly (empire lines are out!) and/or too trendy should be donated to the good will. ditto anything too revealing/seethrough. lace is a hard one and it's everywhere this season. use your discretion but go easy on it. most of all laugh, love, live your life and remember, life begins at forty! cheers!

 

[tinuvielberen]

Eh...these days, with people Botoxing and microdermabrading and Restylaning and staying in shape, middle age ain't what it used to be. I think 40 is a pretty arbitrary demarcation, really.

That said, by 40 you should have a sense of what your style is, of what looks good on you. Middle-aged women who haven't been able to develop a sense of style will often come across looking too "young," because they do what the young girls do: walk about in a mish-mash of unflattering trends (or else they embrace their inner frump, and quit caring).

So bows and flounces and lace are out, you say? What about Betsey Johnson? Her style of dressing is wild; but I can't imagine her any other way, and on her it works, I think. It wouldn't work on me; but then, it never would have.

 

[newprincesita]

Great insights everybody....keep them coming. It´s great to hear your opinions.

Let´s not forget low cut jeans...they look sad and when you are more mature.

 

[newprincesita]

[
So bows and flounces and lace are out, you say? What about Betsey Johnson? Her style of dressing is wild; but I can't imagine her any other way, and on her it works, I think. It wouldn't work on me; but then, it never would have.[/quote]


If you´re a rock star or at least if you work in showbiz you can get away with more...but I think the forties are a great time to refuse to wear some trendy items...even if some clothes still can "pass".

I find this refusal VERY elegant. Let´s let the girls wear the girly stuff and let´s wear the womanly stuff with joy!

Elegance is refusal as Diane Vreeland said...and even more when you are not a girl. I don´t want to cling to things that "pass" I want to find joy in wearing "grown up" stuff, this is the time to wear them!

 

[Pastry]

i think there is an odd reversal with shoes regarding age....i'm a guy, but the way i feel about high heels is that they shouldn't be worn by young women. a-they can be ageing....b-they can look pretencious. young women should stick to easier, chunkier,lower, flatter (i sound like donald trump ) styles..women over 40 can definitely turn some heads in a nice pair of elegant high heeled shoes. B)

 

[trip]

[
So bows and flounces and lace are out, you say? What about Betsey Johnson? Her style of dressing is wild; but I can't imagine her any other way, and on her it works, I think. It wouldn't work on me; but then, it never would have.

If you´re a rock star or at least if you work in showbiz you can get away with more...but I think the forties are a great time to refuse to wear some trendy items...even if some clothes still can "pass".

I find this refusal VERY elegant. Let´s let the girls wear the girly stuff and let´s wear the womanly stuff with joy!

Elegance is refusal as Diane Vreeland said...and even more when you are not a girl. I don´t want to cling to things that "pass" I want to find joy in wearing "grown up" stuff, this is the time to wear them![/quote]

yes! and remember, that now is the time one can truly carry off 'elegant'. as for betsey, i think she's incredibly talented and appeals to a certain type of girl, but she looks like a clown! as for botox/invasive facial procedures, well i don't agree w/them personally. i feel this fixation on eternal youth is damaging and ******* growth in other areas. i do believe in good nutrition, excercise and skin care but growing old gracefully has its merits! i intend to go with it and alter my look/style to suit the decade i'm in. so far, so good. a little secret i've discovered is if one accepts and dresses age appropriatly, one tends to look younger than one's contempories who don't.

 

[luckyme]

I agree with all of the above. I have really started to Invest in shoes, bags, scarves and jackets. Bascis are plain, high quality tee's and jeans, skinny but not too much and mid rise instead of low. I tend to look at my clothing choices now as an investment in quality and cut that will be more apt to be timeless rather than trendy. I want to wear well fitted but still fun clothes that represent the artist I am without being too immature looking.
Also, would like to add that I am much more aware of covering my upper arms now, then when I was in my 20's and 30's and they are not fat at all. I like to think that I wear my clothes now more than they wear me, although that may have always been the case.

Great topic.

 

[fashionista-ta]

I have not done any Botox, etc., but I *have* stayed out of the sun. Just yesterday a guy I met recently was quite surprised when I told him I was older than he is--he thought I was 7-8 years younger than I am (not uncommon), and my birthday's not far away, so I'd like to interpret that to mean that I have a few extra years to deal with this After all, 40 is the new 30

But I guess my basic rule is, am I truly comfortable in what I'm wearing? If not, that's a danger sign.

Totally agree about elegance ... I remember in college despairing that I could ever be elegant, I thought I just didn't have it in me ... a few years later, I realized I had just been too darn young

 

[Curious]

...I'm kind of thinking one should ditch "girly" or "girlish" looks around that age, but I am still giving thought to the matter What do you guys think?

I agree with the sentiment here. However, I think lace is feminine, not "girly", so I think you're good fine with that skirt Don't let the fact that I have one almost identical sway you


I'm really enjoying this thread. Excellent points everyone... especially concerning quality & elegance

 

[fashionista-ta]

I agree with the sentiment here. However, I think lace is feminine, not "girly", so I think you're good fine with that skirt Don't let the fact that I have one almost identical sway you


I'm really enjoying this thread. Excellent points everyone... especially concerning quality & elegance

I think the issue is really how I'm styling it. I saw a grandma (as in 70ish) wearing a white eyelet shirt jacket the other day & she looked fine. I wore it with black tights and my black flats with jet decoration and I swear I really did look like Alice. I think I need to wear it with a bit of a heel maybe ...

 

[tinuvielberen]

... as for betsey, i think she's incredibly talented and appeals to a certain type of girl, but she looks like a clown! as for botox/invasive facial procedures, well i don't agree w/them personally. i feel this fixation on eternal youth is damaging and ******* growth in other areas...

I used Betsey Johnson as an extreme example. She truly has a signature style that, I think, must reflect her personality. I for one would be a little sad if one day she cut off the neon locks and started wearing dark Chanel suits...As for minor cosmetic procedures like Botox, please. If some one is already dressing to look taller, slimmer, prettier, dyeing her hair, then heck what's wrong with a little Botox? A leg wax hurts more. You could argue that any fixation on appearance ******* personal growth, but that's a difficult position to hold when you're posting on a fashion forum!:-)

 

[newprincesita]

Grrrrrrrrreat ideas everybody.

Fashionista-ta I really like the skirt by the way, it´s very classy, I love the shape.

I find it very inspiring looking at great (and older) Hollywood stars pictures. They were not constantly obsessed with looking like teenagers.

But most of all I think constantly about clean cut and quality when buying clothes. No fads, just great stuff that would look good in 10 years.

Finally....I adored Carolyn Bessette Kennedy´s style. When making a decision about buying some clothes, I sometimes find myself wondering....Would she like this? Would she wear this?

Her style was perfectly suitable for a 40 years old, even if she was younger when she sported it.

She dressed always in such a classic and unfrilly manner, rather severe.....but that always enhanced her beauty...

She would have made a beautiful 40 years old lady....too bad she´s gone

 

[trip]

^
i think you got it.

 

[trip]

i'd like to see older women in america view themselves differently w/in the context of fashion.
and let's not forget the true originals - from edith sitwell to helena christiansen, who manage to skip around the rules perfectly! there's a fine line between flamboyant and theatrical!true bohemians have always managed to avoid either, colourfully and w/grace!

 

[softgrey]

i will have to come back to this thread..
really good topic ladies...

i do think that if you are petite by nature that you can get away with different things...because in a sense your size always makes you look a bit younger than you are...


and i do find that styling makes a big difference...
i am using much bolder 'statement' accessories now that i probably wasn't 'strong' enough to pull off when i was younger...

 

[Alliecat]

In my mid thirties I definitly see myself heading more towards classic lines and away from styles that dont suit my body. All that research completed while I was young, nubile and not afraid of wearing only silk chiffon on a cold day...

Jewellery for me is as Trip mentioned about a good haircut - important. I always envisage them going together. I am a chunky, heavy silver wearer. But for the past several years (if ever) have not touched any jewellery that wasn't of very good quality (and so have been jewellery naked.... a crime! - as I have been travelling and have not had suffiicent security/need for what I own).

I have now ended up making my own as I havent been able to find pieces that I like, or if I do that I will spend the large sums of required for.

Bad accessories will age a person and definitly head into Mutton/lamb territory.

 

[Melisande]

I agree with you Tinuvielberen. You know...age is a societal thing...who's to dictate what makes an outfit "young" or "mature"?...I say if you observe your body objectively in the mirror and know the person you are in your heart, you can come up with what suits you and your changing self at any age, despite what culture dictates.

A "mutton dressed as a lamb" is not horrible because it's an older woman dressed in so-called "young people's clothes". In fact, it's not even about the clothes. Sometimes it's really beautiful seeing mothers wearing their teenage daughter's cast-off clothing...silly sloppy cartoony t-shirts and all...when it shows how much joyfully involved they are with their family and couldn't care less what people thought. The same is true with Betsey Johnson's attire displaying her values as a person. Or Tina Turner looking great in minis. Or Vivienne Westwood strutting her sexy curvaceous punkified sixty-something body on the runway. I've seen grey-haired middle aged women look stunning in sleek minis. I think the key is respect for your own values as a person. A "mutton dressed as a lamb" is only as sad as anybody denying their true identity...young or old, male or female...yes, including adult women suppressing themselves to dress "their age".

Also, I think frilly, lacy clothing often looks better on older women... There is something so handsome about a strong, mature woman wearing romantic clothing...

I think we owe it to the upcoming generations to let them know that it's okay to be who you really are and that aging is something to be proud of, not "dealt with". We're living in grotesquely youth-oriented cultures, to the detriment of not only older people but the youth themselves.