What To Wear When You're 30-Something...
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RedandNavy
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I agree that it's not just the number (age) but the changes in life that may make us rethink our style. I have two kids, a two years old and a 3 month old, and some pieces that I bought 2-3 years ago just feel akward now. It's the girly or "rocky" stuff that makes me feel like "common, they are the kids now, not you". The daily life with my kids makes me realize I've grown up and I'm not part of the "youth" anymore. Not a bad thing but this makes me prefer a style that is more that of a lady than that of a trendy young girl.
I have also struggled with the problem of shoes - and still do. I love heels and wore them daily before but honestly, a walk with two babies in heels is just... a bit funny. When I have to run after my two years old in heels and a skirt that does feel a bit wrong. So I invested in some nice and very comfy flats, too. I still wear heels but I mostly save them for the occassions when my kids don't make me run after them.
I don't want to look like I've given up though. I think it's such a pity that sometimes people just don't seem to care anymore about what they are wearing when they have kids or when they grow older. Sure, we get lines and wrinkles, the body changes and in a way we are maybe not that pretty and fresh anymore. But I think that should make you care more, not less. The most stylish women in my book are btw 50-70 years old. That's when you really see whether someone cares and knows what he's doing or not. I admire women (and men) who still invest in their looks in that age (if it's not by overdoing plastic surgery, which can look ridiculous). You do not need to be trendy anymore at that age but it certainly looks great if you've found your style.
I have also struggled with the problem of shoes - and still do. I love heels and wore them daily before but honestly, a walk with two babies in heels is just... a bit funny. When I have to run after my two years old in heels and a skirt that does feel a bit wrong. So I invested in some nice and very comfy flats, too. I still wear heels but I mostly save them for the occassions when my kids don't make me run after them.
I don't want to look like I've given up though. I think it's such a pity that sometimes people just don't seem to care anymore about what they are wearing when they have kids or when they grow older. Sure, we get lines and wrinkles, the body changes and in a way we are maybe not that pretty and fresh anymore. But I think that should make you care more, not less. The most stylish women in my book are btw 50-70 years old. That's when you really see whether someone cares and knows what he's doing or not. I admire women (and men) who still invest in their looks in that age (if it's not by overdoing plastic surgery, which can look ridiculous). You do not need to be trendy anymore at that age but it certainly looks great if you've found your style.
RedandNavy - yes, I totally relate to what you are talking about. Especially not being a part of youth culture. When I see high school kids, for example, I absolutely cannot relate to them. Instead, I see in them my son in the future. It's a significant shift! In terms of shoes, I already wore a lot of flats, but I've been very into low heels. But more things like boots with a low heel or low wedge sandals. I agree that spindle-y heels aren't great for chasing kids. I think the challenge sometimes is looking good on the weekends. I mean, during the work week, you can wear your normal clothes. But weekend clothes need to be able to stand up to some really rough activity. Hmm ... sorry, I think I'm getting off topic and talking more about what to wear when you have young children! There's some overlap ...
my daughter is 8. 
i am enjoying each stage of life, i have to say. i enjoyed my clothes when i was a child, an adolescent, a teen, a young woman and now, well, i can still relate to my 'a girl who is no longer a girl' identity. it's basically been me, whoever i am
making choices that fit the various stages. so while the choices have changed, the style, my style, that guides me has really been the same, if that makes sense. it's just been a different interpretation of that style for each age.
occasionally i accidentally bring things home that don't work yet, but will in 10-15 years. they are me, but they aren't me yet.
i am enjoying each stage of life, i have to say. i enjoyed my clothes when i was a child, an adolescent, a teen, a young woman and now, well, i can still relate to my 'a girl who is no longer a girl' identity. it's basically been me, whoever i am
making choices that fit the various stages. so while the choices have changed, the style, my style, that guides me has really been the same, if that makes sense. it's just been a different interpretation of that style for each age. occasionally i accidentally bring things home that don't work yet, but will in 10-15 years. they are me, but they aren't me yet.
i think victoria beckham and carla bruni are dressing ideally for women in their 30's and early 40's.
i think sheath dresses with hemlines above or around the knees are GREAT for sophisticated women. thats what i plan to wear.
french connection usually has a lot of these types of dresses (some are knockoffs of beckham originals) for a reasonable cost.
i think sheath dresses with hemlines above or around the knees are GREAT for sophisticated women. thats what i plan to wear.
french connection usually has a lot of these types of dresses (some are knockoffs of beckham originals) for a reasonable cost.
softgrey
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well ladies-
tourist and hiheels...
maybe if you guys want to talk about mommy style we can have a thread just for that...
i haven't tried a search, but it's possible we already have something like that...
i know we have a maternity style thread...
so we must have something about yummy mummy or something...
we should, in any case...!
try doing a search and if you don't find anything feel free to start one if you guys want to continue the chat in that vein...
cause there are girls in their 20's etc with kids as well who would probably join the chat...
it's a very specific (sort of REDBOOK) topic but i think a lot of people would be interested...
tourist and hiheels...
maybe if you guys want to talk about mommy style we can have a thread just for that...
i haven't tried a search, but it's possible we already have something like that...
i know we have a maternity style thread...
so we must have something about yummy mummy or something...
we should, in any case...!
try doing a search and if you don't find anything feel free to start one if you guys want to continue the chat in that vein...
cause there are girls in their 20's etc with kids as well who would probably join the chat...
it's a very specific (sort of REDBOOK) topic but i think a lot of people would be interested...
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Lapin de Lune
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I'm fully with you on this.
Also, not all bodies alter so significantly through the 30's, either. Lately I am of the mind to dress in ways which make me feel comfortable, or which suit my 'look', as opposed to tailoring my style to adapt to some vague number in age format. I only started to wear skinny jeans in my 30's, and they have been such a great thing for me, and seem to suit my shape and style far more than the wider leg pants that I wore throughout my twenties. I have become a bit more 'petite' as I've grown older, so perhaps this has more to do with it than age considerations. Knowing what suits me, and what to reject.
I wonder if some of these considerations differ depending upon whether we have become mothers by this point? I haven't, personally, so my daily activities and priorities differ. Then again, this particular issue could also be relevant to a 20-something, so..
As I have grown older my tastes have also altered, so this is why it is ultimately easy to adapt. I simply don't desire to wear lurid patterns, micro mini's or hotpants. Then again, I've been taken in by the cuteness of dungaree dresses recently (although I haven't purchased one), which actually do suit my look, but still....you just reach this point where you know when to say no. I hope!
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other than id'ing that i have a daughter, i don't think i was saying anything about 'mommy style' and i have to admit, it's an angle to fashion that i do not relate to one single bit.
anyway, i think "30-something," just as a thought for anyone reading this who is approaching or just in the early 30s, is not a category that fully covers the whole 30+ experience, because early 30s are quite different from later 30s, as those almost become pre-40s. oh my.
anyway, i think "30-something," just as a thought for anyone reading this who is approaching or just in the early 30s, is not a category that fully covers the whole 30+ experience, because early 30s are quite different from later 30s, as those almost become pre-40s. oh my.
Really?
Getting into my 30s unfortunately means giving up on many cheaper brands
especially denim ones. Suddenly I want to wear FLARES like Elle MacPherson 
and I am confronted with a sea of skinny jeans! All under £30 while straightleg jeans or ones simply flattering not to a teenage shape are all over £150!
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Lapin de Lune
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Something else I have begun to notice as I get older (or perhaps it isn't quite related to my age, but something has happened!) is how badly made so many of the high street items actually are. Basically, I currently live on a budget: I live alone, so pay full rent and bills, run a small business and have many outgoings, so I simply can't afford to shop at more expensive stores right now. And as a result of this, I still find myself choosing my staples from stores such as Topshop, H&M, and so on. But I am becoming increasingly irritated by what I purchase. So much of it is cheaply made, badly constructed, and the majority of garments are unlined, too sheer ( I am certain that this is for wont of better fabrics than an actual trend signifier) or too damn short.
I am currently trying to locate a summer tea dress that actually comes below mid thigh and finding it almost impossible. The closest I have found has been via Cath Kidston, but I'm not particularly fond of this seasons offerings and would prefer not to have to dry clean a dress I would be wearing regularly.
Has anyone else encountered this problem? It is as if there is no middle ground between the frumpy and the 'too edgy'. I must also add here that I don't actually believe there ought to be a set of rules for dressing after a certain age: so many of us approach these things differently, some of us might not look our age and would feel uncomfortable forcing ourselves to dress in a way we may consider austere, too mature, too simplified, etc. There is so much to take into account, especially since we are all so very diverse in our fashion interests to begin with.
What I have noticed is that my mind has altered first, before my face and body shape. I still seem to give off the impression of a mid twenties 'girl', yet I am actually approaching 40. It tickles me and freaks me out simultaneously. But the thing is, I am no longer focused on what interested me in my twenties, and my 'sense of style' is most definitely entering a new phase. I don't know if this is an age related issue or merely one of experience (or both), but I find myself drawn to quality tailoring, unique ideas, simplified silhouettes, ...and ok, just quality in general. And yet my budget balks at the thought!
So, I am still sifting through Topshop, H&M, etc, for items which are suited to my own particular look, which is often more concerned with myself as an individual than my current age on a passport. I was never a fan of overtly youthful clothing, even in my teens, but there are certain styles which are difficult to avoid on a modest budget - baby doll, peter pan, etc. I have had to pass on so many pretty frocks for this reason, because i simply don't wish to give the impression of being younger than I actually am. There are drawbacks to this cherished state of apparent youthfulness: I am rarely treated with the same respect as those who look older than me, men half my age are the only ones who tend to approach me in social situations, and no matter how I may have matured as a person, I have found myself having to adjust my behaviour/assertiveness to convince people that I am actually the sum of my years. Hence, how I dress is often crucial to this very issue, and I am currently attempting to transition without compromising my sense of fun, experiment and love for fashion.
I am still seeking more over 30 fashion blogs, yet the ones I have recently discovered (like a 3 of them!) are quite wonderful. What inhibits more mature girls from creating fashion blogs? Or am I simply missing them? If you consider an average lifespan to reach the grand old age of 80, then the concept of being too old for fashion at 35 seems crazy! I would so love to see blogs authored by ladies well into their seventies, to tell the truth, because I like to look forward, and with as much a sense of adventure as I had at 20.
I appreciate that this is a long and rambling post, so I will leave it there. Just a bunch of thoughts. I find the the entire 'fashion & age' issue so confusing, yet fascinating. There will come a time when I do start to look older, when i do begin to look my age, and perhaps this is when I will settle into myself with more confidence and less confusion. Perhaps there is a lot to be said for growing older after all
I am currently trying to locate a summer tea dress that actually comes below mid thigh and finding it almost impossible. The closest I have found has been via Cath Kidston, but I'm not particularly fond of this seasons offerings and would prefer not to have to dry clean a dress I would be wearing regularly.
Has anyone else encountered this problem? It is as if there is no middle ground between the frumpy and the 'too edgy'. I must also add here that I don't actually believe there ought to be a set of rules for dressing after a certain age: so many of us approach these things differently, some of us might not look our age and would feel uncomfortable forcing ourselves to dress in a way we may consider austere, too mature, too simplified, etc. There is so much to take into account, especially since we are all so very diverse in our fashion interests to begin with.
What I have noticed is that my mind has altered first, before my face and body shape. I still seem to give off the impression of a mid twenties 'girl', yet I am actually approaching 40. It tickles me and freaks me out simultaneously. But the thing is, I am no longer focused on what interested me in my twenties, and my 'sense of style' is most definitely entering a new phase. I don't know if this is an age related issue or merely one of experience (or both), but I find myself drawn to quality tailoring, unique ideas, simplified silhouettes, ...and ok, just quality in general. And yet my budget balks at the thought!
So, I am still sifting through Topshop, H&M, etc, for items which are suited to my own particular look, which is often more concerned with myself as an individual than my current age on a passport. I was never a fan of overtly youthful clothing, even in my teens, but there are certain styles which are difficult to avoid on a modest budget - baby doll, peter pan, etc. I have had to pass on so many pretty frocks for this reason, because i simply don't wish to give the impression of being younger than I actually am. There are drawbacks to this cherished state of apparent youthfulness: I am rarely treated with the same respect as those who look older than me, men half my age are the only ones who tend to approach me in social situations, and no matter how I may have matured as a person, I have found myself having to adjust my behaviour/assertiveness to convince people that I am actually the sum of my years. Hence, how I dress is often crucial to this very issue, and I am currently attempting to transition without compromising my sense of fun, experiment and love for fashion.
I am still seeking more over 30 fashion blogs, yet the ones I have recently discovered (like a 3 of them!) are quite wonderful. What inhibits more mature girls from creating fashion blogs? Or am I simply missing them? If you consider an average lifespan to reach the grand old age of 80, then the concept of being too old for fashion at 35 seems crazy! I would so love to see blogs authored by ladies well into their seventies, to tell the truth, because I like to look forward, and with as much a sense of adventure as I had at 20.
I appreciate that this is a long and rambling post, so I will leave it there. Just a bunch of thoughts. I find the the entire 'fashion & age' issue so confusing, yet fascinating. There will come a time when I do start to look older, when i do begin to look my age, and perhaps this is when I will settle into myself with more confidence and less confusion. Perhaps there is a lot to be said for growing older after all
mighty_isis
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Lapin - care to share the 30-something bloggers? I've found a few 30 & up bloggers but I didn't find them very inspiring.
Lapin de Lune
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There are a few mentioned earlier in this thread, although I only have 2 bookmarked:
http://deuxarmoires.wordpress.com/
and
http://www.pinkbow.net/
I suppose it is tricky locating them because a lot of the 30 something bloggers, like myself, don't offer their age in their profile, so they might be easy to overlook, especially if they look a bit younger, which many just do. I've noticed that the under 25's always seem to type their age into the sidebar, for some reason, but after this age range I think it becomes a bit more ambiguous.
http://deuxarmoires.wordpress.com/
and
http://www.pinkbow.net/
I suppose it is tricky locating them because a lot of the 30 something bloggers, like myself, don't offer their age in their profile, so they might be easy to overlook, especially if they look a bit younger, which many just do. I've noticed that the under 25's always seem to type their age into the sidebar, for some reason, but after this age range I think it becomes a bit more ambiguous.
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Tiger-lily
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I was having a similar issue recently. I was looking for a simple, but colorful cotton day dress. I finally gave up on searching the department stores because most of the dresses were too short or not quite a day dress look. I found two decent dresses at a local thrift store.
Oooh I found this thread really interesting; I'm in my thirties and still have long hair and look very similar to how I did when I was younger and get ID'd a lot - I'd also say that I am - ahem!! - mentally still quite young and some slight confusion creeps in about how I dress now.
I used to wear neutral basics when I was in my twenties, but now love brightly coloured cashmere and printed dresses (I honestly think black doesn't suit me as much anymore, the one thing which is noticably different about me is my skintone, alas!). I hesitated over buying a silk sundress for the first time last month as I feel a bit 'deceptive' that people think I am still in my twenties and wondered if it was too young for me (it's a simple shift dress in a nice pattern) but then decided to go for it, one of the ladies at work usually compliments me on my dresses and I've noticed she's started wearing them more and she's in her fifties, which is nice to see. I think a pretty frock (if that's your style) can make you feel feminine at any age.
I'm still very happy with wearing cashmere, pencil skirts, jeans, dangly earrings etc even though I do have the odd wobble about dresses if I wonder if the print is too young.
I used to wear neutral basics when I was in my twenties, but now love brightly coloured cashmere and printed dresses (I honestly think black doesn't suit me as much anymore, the one thing which is noticably different about me is my skintone, alas!). I hesitated over buying a silk sundress for the first time last month as I feel a bit 'deceptive' that people think I am still in my twenties and wondered if it was too young for me (it's a simple shift dress in a nice pattern) but then decided to go for it, one of the ladies at work usually compliments me on my dresses and I've noticed she's started wearing them more and she's in her fifties, which is nice to see. I think a pretty frock (if that's your style) can make you feel feminine at any age.
I'm still very happy with wearing cashmere, pencil skirts, jeans, dangly earrings etc even though I do have the odd wobble about dresses if I wonder if the print is too young.
Lapin de Lune
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Sundial, I am so familiar with this mode of thinking - about wondering if my choices are somehow deceptive, even though I am merely being myself and make no real effort to look anything other than my own age. Yet, the more I pondered this, I came to realize that I would not like to look back in the future and feel that I had restricted myself. I dare say there will come a point when certain items will no longer work, or won't suit me, so perhaps indulging in them now is the right thing to do. I do not suit mid length skirts, and still look better in mini's or maxi's. I tend to avoid anything overtly suggestive of age in any context, but then most of my stuff still hails from Topshop/UO, etc, and if you google search 'Topshop 30 something' you will find literally tons of debate leaning towards the mindset that if you're over 30, Topshop just won't do anymore.
I have a friend who is in her mid twenties who considers herself too old for most high street stores and only ever wears either jeans, cargo pants and tshirts. The thing is, this is just 'her', and she would feel out of place dressing any other way. So I do think that it is dependent upon the individual, for right now I am happy to continue as I am, yet also experiment with new things. There are some things which we simply know to avoid, not necessarily because we are older, but more so because we are perhaps a little more experienced with regards to choosing what works and what doesn't. For instance, when I was in my early twenties I made some astoundingly bad fashion choices, not merely because I was 'finding my style', but more so because I was too excited to try every new trend that evolved. Only a small selection of these trends really suited me, regardless of my young age.
I thought I could include a little picture of myself wearing some recent items of mine. I don't consider myself to be stylish, exactly, but it does give a decent impression of what some of us are wearing. I am sure that my current tastes will alter as the years, or even months roll forward
My images, canon&webcam.
Click the thumbnail to view larger.
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Aww, you look so pretty and lovely! Definitely age appropriate. Even if you do still look like a teen In the nicest possible way, the outfits look lovely on you.
Yeah thirties is not a death knoll as such so I guess it's all the advice about wearing more expensive pieces etc and the debate about 'age appropriate'..it won't stop me wearing black tights with an above the knee pretty dress though.
My dad died two days ago and i saw him for the last time in the Chapel of Rest today and then got outside a hundred yards down the road and a teenager literally came up and told me I had knobbly knees (I was wearing black tights and a pretty shift dress) - for a second I was really furious and thought 'shuttup you little whatnot my Dad has just died!! And so what if I have knobbly knees??' but then let it go.
In the nicest possible way, the outfits look lovely on you.Yeah thirties is not a death knoll as such so I guess it's all the advice about wearing more expensive pieces etc and the debate about 'age appropriate'..it won't stop me wearing black tights with an above the knee pretty dress though.
My dad died two days ago and i saw him for the last time in the Chapel of Rest today and then got outside a hundred yards down the road and a teenager literally came up and told me I had knobbly knees (I was wearing black tights and a pretty shift dress) - for a second I was really furious and thought 'shuttup you little whatnot my Dad has just died!! And so what if I have knobbly knees??' but then let it go.
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Lapin de Lune
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Thanks x
I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss, Sundial. And how badly timed that ridiculous insult actually was.
Something similar happened to me many yrs ago, when a bunch of adolescent girls in my neighbourhood began taunting me about various things concerning my appearance. I think I may have been around 25 at the time. After months of enduring their insults whenever I passed by where they hung out, I finally faced up to one of them and asked what the deal was. When they discovered my actual age, they immediately apologized and changed their attitude towards me. It seemed as if discovering I was around twice their age, their interest in me evaporated. This never happens any more thankfully.
It is also very disturbing to live in a culture which deems it ok to walk up to complete strangers and assess their physical appearance, this weird 'body policing'. And it seems to be getting worse.
As for above the knee dresses, it would strike me as somewhat militant to insist that a woman over 30 should even consider them inappropriate. Women of all ages wear above the knee skirts, well into their 50's and 60's. Who creates these rules??? As with anything though, I do believe that it is how we actually style ourselves as opposed to the exact length/tightness of a garment.
We should not be confined to midi's!
I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss, Sundial. And how badly timed that ridiculous insult actually was.
Something similar happened to me many yrs ago, when a bunch of adolescent girls in my neighbourhood began taunting me about various things concerning my appearance. I think I may have been around 25 at the time. After months of enduring their insults whenever I passed by where they hung out, I finally faced up to one of them and asked what the deal was. When they discovered my actual age, they immediately apologized and changed their attitude towards me. It seemed as if discovering I was around twice their age, their interest in me evaporated. This never happens any more thankfully.
It is also very disturbing to live in a culture which deems it ok to walk up to complete strangers and assess their physical appearance, this weird 'body policing'. And it seems to be getting worse.
As for above the knee dresses, it would strike me as somewhat militant to insist that a woman over 30 should even consider them inappropriate. Women of all ages wear above the knee skirts, well into their 50's and 60's. Who creates these rules??? As with anything though, I do believe that it is how we actually style ourselves as opposed to the exact length/tightness of a garment.
We should not be confined to midi's!
I am not 30 yet but I feel your pain about finding affordable, classic, and quality pieces which are still somewhat "fun" to wear. I look up A LOT at what FLOTUS wears because her dresses are never boring. Fortunately for me, I am not really on a budget. I am not really into super short dresses and those days it's very hard (at least for me) to find colourful dresses, funky dresses which are long enough (ie knee or a few inch higher without it being mid tight) and could be used for daily events or nights events with the right accessories. Sometimes I feel like some designers those days create clothes for 15 years old (Valentino I am looking at you) and it's..annoying
