Once an ugly duckling.......

[Ghost]

oh yes when i was in art class, we were asked to draw our own portraits.
i draw a guy with very straight hair and my friend was like " i think your actual hair is very messy and curly"
i was like F * C K Y O U

 

[muffy]

A Pirolf, I sympathize with you, I really do. I have read through this entire thread and like you, I am still an ugly duckling and have no good "inner qualities" to make up for being ugly on the outside. I don't know if the people here whose ugliness was "cured" by eyebrow shaping or a good haircut were really ugly to begin with, but I know I have done these things, and they have not made any significant difference. I have never been beautiful in my entire life and the way things are going now, probably never will be! (unfortunately, of course, my greatest dream is to be beautiful...)

 

[heaven]

And I really feel it's my turn now, to be pretty.[/quote]


i second that!!!

 

[lollicandy]

Oooh I just found this thread! Where to begin. First of all, I'm Asian/White or Eurasian whatever they/we are calling it now. So I didn't know anyone that looked like me where I grew up. However, I grew to be extremely dissatisfied with how I looked. I was just awkward because I was very naive and had absolutely no self-consciousness about my looks, hair, skin or body. I now think that it was a gift. No child should be as self obsessed with their looks as some of the other children I met.

Lets see. Enormous glasses that covered my face.-->'Owl.' Frizzy, curly hair that couldn't be tamed and a mom that teased my baby bangs into a pompadour. Giant front teeth --> 'Rabbit teeth.' Hitting puberty earlier then everyone else (at 10.) Teased mercilessly meaning having candy thrown at my head and people being rude. Summer camp, I was a total outcast. People took my things without asking me, wore my jewelry for example, ridiculed how I dressed and looked, (no Prada bags at 13 in the woods? Not cool.) Led to depression, eating! (yum) and weight gain. I gained 10 sturdy pounds every year in highschool, was waay overweight. Skin went bad too (oh those hormones). Went on Benzaclin and other rx, cleansers made my entire face red and peel. I remember going in a bathroom at the mall and other women were staring at my face.

And then I went to university. A girl called me and some other girls 'fat and frumpy.' Two doctors told me that I seriously needed to lose weight. I decided I need to make a make/break it decision. I wanted to 'grow up'. No more glasses ever (I would alternate my 'owl' glasses with contacts). Grew my hair out, acne subsided with hormones naturally. Started to lose weight by simply paying attention to what I ate. I had no concept of health, eating or how to take care of myself before. Exercising in little ways like walking everywhere. Staying away from negative people ('fat and frumpy' girl became universally hated and left my dorm, we were all thrilled). Wearing makeup that complimented me, not because they were mom's 'free gifts.' Finding my own style of clothes that fit. All this helped.

I just really don't understand the other people/children who teased me. They weren't just teasing, it was bullying and for me it was sheer psychological torture. My adolescence was a real hell for me, and I really hated being made fun of; it made me isolate myself. It truly changed me forever and led to low self-esteem. All I can do is just pity them now, they must be miserable themselves to have done what they did.

Honestly, I just needed time to figure myself out, and let nature or my body, whatever, do what it needed to. I also agree that as you get older these things become so petty, and indeed meaningless as you say iamthewalrus28. It truly pains me deep in my soul that people are made to feel so worthless at such a young age, if I could travel back in time I would give myself at 13 a hug and tell her it'll be alright. There's just too much pressure on being perfect and conforming (I'm looking at you Hollister/A&F culture) too young. With time you forget, you grow up, and the pain lessens. I know I don't look like an ugly duckling anymore, but sometimes it takes a while for you to feel that way too.

 

[kalli]

Where have all the posts disapeared?I`m sure there were more.

 

[silk skin paws]

^really?

I wasn't an ugly duckling I was invisible. I wasn't the pretty or ugly girl. I wore baggy clothes until middle school because I felt awkward and skinny (and I'm still awkward and skinny) I'm not completely over it and I'm still working on this self-confidence thing. I just have to fake it until I really have it. I don't think I changed a lot besides wearing better fitted clothes, working on my skin and wearing a bit of mascara. I grew into my looks. It takes time and this may sound cheesy but it starts within.

 

[tigerrouge]

I was an attractive child, so when I was young, I never gave appearance a second thought - which meant puberty came as a shock as I filled out at 11-12 and got problem skin and haywire hair. I went from being active to being quite introverted, because suddenly I was all too aware of my "flaws" and how people reacted to my new appearance.

Then when I reached 16, I started gaining control over my own routines (yes, I had strict parents too) and transformed into a person who made an impression and was popular with the boys (and girls also, as I wasn't perfectly pretty). However, this brought its own problems, as I started getting too much attention and ended up with stalkers. I then retreated away from making the most of myself, into the world of putting weight on and wearing baggier clothes.

From 22 onwards, adult life also brought the mundane reality of having to work in an office and fit in and look sensible, so there wasn't much room for experimentation.

Now that I'm thirtysomething, I can look back and realise it all starts from within. I now have the personal authority to be able to cope with any person who wishes to undermine me. Developing that authority does take time, but you will gain it. No-one has it at 16 - it's built day by day from all those bad moments you go through. Your reward is something good - strength.

And don't forget - if you didn't win any prizes for beauty when you were a teen, there are still many ways to triumph. I've lost count of how many people I know who have descended into a thirtysomething slump, losing their looks, while I remain fresh and lovely, because I looked after myself. We all have our moments in the sun.

 

[*Bianca*]

Where have all the posts disapeared?I`m sure there were more.

There's another thread: Feeling ugly
which maybe you may have read some of the posts there and got mixed up with this one? I dunno, heh.

 

[Dulcisima]

I used to be an ugly duckling till i was 20....ppl dont recognize me now!!! i think its the weight loss, my features became sharper ...my mom once told me that a gals beauty peak starts in her mid twenties....she was damn right

 

[lollicandy]

kalli, I posted in this thread earlier and i was the newest post at the time, I think that's all there is.

Dulcisima, I think your mom is right! I used to get upset because I heard all the time how women are most beautiful at around 16/17. I think that's crap, I think prob mid-late twenties is more like it! Of course all of this relative, but I'm thinking in terms of unwrinkled/unblemished skin and fast metabolism.

 

[__neversummer]

I was but it was more by personal choice if that makes sense. I was a massive tom boy I wore guy's pants and t-shirts all the time. I'm a skateboarder/snowboarder and back then I dressed the part and looked the part. I was happier covered in mud and scrapes than I was in make up and nice clothing.

What changed I grew up. Last few years I made an effort to just take some pride in my appearance and stop acting like a dude and I'm finding that I feel really good about myself. In the past I always just felt dirty and ugly. Now I actually feel pretty. I still go out and skate and snowboard. I'm still covered in the scrapes and bruises, and I'm still a tom boy. But that's ok, it's part of who I am.

 

[kalli]

Dulcisima, I think your mom is right! I used to get upset because I heard all the time how women are most beautiful at around 16/17. I think that's crap, I think prob mid-late twenties is more like it! Of course all of this relative, but I'm thinking in terms of unwrinkled/unblemished skin and fast metabolism.

I was disgusting at 16/17,it was my worst period.I don`t even wanna remember that.Some people peak when they`re teens and some later(for example Monica Bellucci who looked her best in her mid thirties).Most people who look gorgeous when they`re 17 don`t look very good when they`re older because they take what they have for granted.If there`s one good thing about this "ugly ducking"period it`s that I`ve learned I have to take care of myself.

 

[russh_kris_z]

I was disgusting at 16/17,it was my worst period.I don`t even wanna remember that.Some people peak when they`re teens and some later(for example Monica Bellucci who looked her best in her mid thirties).Most people who look gorgeous when they`re 17 don`t look very good when they`re older because they take what they have for granted.If there`s one good thing about this "ugly ducking"period it`s that I`ve learned I have to take care of myself.

My worse period is NOW
its starting to get better i hope
I did some hair treatments and skin treatments and their working and I'm forever greatful

 

[Ghost]

Couturetribe......I believe in Karma..you get what you sow...lol
when people make fun of someone's ugliness, just know something is going to return to them

 

[kalli]

^^I don't believe in Karma it would be nice if it did exist but I haven't seen it happen too many times,but I do remember this one guy who used to make fun of my face because I had acne and I saw him a couple of years late and his face was covered in zits and worse than I ever was.I must admit I smiled a little on the inside when I saw him not very noble from my part but oh well at least I didn't make fun of him.

 

[mousquerader]

Looking back on some old photographs, I think I was a pretty cute kid. Too bad it didn't last.

As I got older, I seemed to get uglier. My face was wide/round (I was made aware of this fact when a boy told me that my face was really wide--and he used his hands to exaggerate and make the point--and he gestured that everyone's elses faces looked normal by putting his hands close together to make a "skinny" face), my eyebrows were thick and unshapely, and I had way too much thick, frizzy hair... it didn't help that I had REALLY bad hair cuts. I remember once my sister took me to the salon to try to get my hair sorted out. She thought it would be cute if I got a bob. The hair stylist didn't agree but ended up making my hair even shorter, like a boy cut. It was awful. So then my hair was puffy AND I looked like a boy. While it was growing out it just looked even puffier. I used to put gel on it, but I guess I put too much on because one day my teacher noted that my hair was as hard as a rock. :/ So I cut back on the gel.

There was another time in 5th grade when a girl I thought was my friend randomly told me, "You're ugly," with the most placid expression. I didn't get mad. I just never spoke to her again. Completely ignored her.

By the 6th grade I was breaking out. That just made everything worse. My sister used to pop my zits for me... even when I didn't want it. I swear she'd lock me up in the bathroom and just squeeze my zits forever. It HATED it. I always protested, but then she'd get mad. "I'm trying to help you!" Yaddayaddaya. I really resent that.

In junior high, I didn't care what kind of clothes I wore. Not that I could afford to have a lot of clothes anyway. I used to wear the same ugly black jacket all the day with different pants and different shirts underneath. I used to hear people comment, "Didn't you wear that yesterday? Eww." (or they'd say that about other people, and then I became aware that I was like the person they were talking about.) To this day, I really don't understand how wearing the same thing 2 days in a row is "gross" or "nasty" especially if it's clean, but I don't do it anymore. I always tied by hair up into a pony tail, too, because I didn't know how to deal with it.

In freshman year of high school, I got some new clothes and that made me feel better. But I still wasn't pretty like other girls. My hair sucked. Then I was introduced to the flat iron in sophomore year... I've been straightening my hair since. I never go out in public without straightening my hair. I mean, if my facial features aren't so great, I can at least have nice hair, right?

In sophomore year, I started to wear eyeliner. I tried the cheap wet 'n wild eyeliner in dark brown. I didn't know any better, so I thought I looked good with dark, heavy lines around my eyes. It often melted and smudged, so it looked pretty bad. Once I was walking down the hall with a friend, and he and I were arguing about something. And he had this completely random comeback, "So? You wear makeup!" as if that invalidated my opinion or something. I was upset but I didn't let it show. I wasn't about to give up eyeliner completely because I didn't like the way I naturally looked, so I tried to be more subtle. Then I tried using brown eyeshadow as eyeliner, and I've been using that ever since; it's so subtle people are always surprised when I say I wear makeup. I was really outgoing that year, though. I wore lots of clothes that I mostly got from forever 21 and I just felt good about myself. In fact, I was even liked by a couple guys. One asked me out, but I had to turn him down. I reasoned, if I can't even like myself, how can I expect others to like and respect me? I didn't want someone to have to try to make me feel beautiful about myself. The other guy was pretty nice and polite; he told his friends who told me that he wanted to get to know me before he asked me out. He ended up never asking me out. I don't know why.

In junior year, I stopped wearing most of the clothes I used to. I thought I was getting so silly and superficial. That wasn't me. Over the summer I went to an esthetician regular and now my skin is clear. It's senior year now, and I thought clear skin would give me more confidence... but it didn't. I'm not as confident as I was two years ago.

Why is this? Because I don't wear great clothes? Because I don't wear a lot of makeup? I want to go back, but I don't want to be wearing certain clothes or makeup to make me feel better. I don't want to be fake.

I seem to have gotten the sucky genetics because my two sisters always look great without makeup. They're beautiful. Damnit. Why wasn't I as lucky?

 

[jjbunny79]

i feel really screwed up right now...

 

[mass]

i'm still ugly but i'd like to think i dress better. T:

 

[J.M.L]

When I was 12, I was so heavy, probably one of the biggest in my grade. I started getting breakouts and I had glasses to top it off. All through middle school I felt ugly and fat and unattractive. I hated the way I looked. I was so uncomfortable and to this day, I still hate my body, but I did lose weight by walking and walking and walking my dogs. I got contacts and started eating much healthier. My diet has done a 180. I'm so much healthier now, but I need to work on my body still.

 

[ravensWood]

I was an attractive child, so when I was young, I never gave appearance a second thought - which meant puberty came as a shock as I filled out at 11-12 and got problem skin and haywire hair. I went from being active to being quite introverted, because suddenly I was all too aware of my "flaws" and how people reacted to my new appearance.

Then when I reached 16, I started gaining control over my own routines (yes, I had strict parents too) and transformed into a person who made an impression and was popular with the boys (and girls also, as I wasn't perfectly pretty). However, this brought its own problems, as I started getting too much attention and ended up with stalkers. I then retreated away from making the most of myself, into the world of putting weight on and wearing baggier clothes.

From 22 onwards, adult life also brought the mundane reality of having to work in an office and fit in and look sensible, so there wasn't much room for experimentation.

Now that I'm thirtysomething, I can look back and realise it all starts from within. I now have the personal authority to be able to cope with any person who wishes to undermine me. Developing that authority does take time, but you will gain it. No-one has it at 16 - it's built day by day from all those bad moments you go through. Your reward is something good - strength.

And don't forget - if you didn't win any prizes for beauty when you were a teen, there are still many ways to triumph. I've lost count of how many people I know who have descended into a thirtysomething slump, losing their looks, while I remain fresh and lovely, because I looked after myself. We all have our moments in the sun.

This is an excellent post and mirrors my experiences and feelings almost exactly!