Sisters, pale is perfect
Bronzing is so last century, but that doesn't mean you can't exude a rosy glow says Hannah Betts.
May and the advent of sustained summer light means that a perfectly serviceable winter maquillage will begin to look - how shall we say - a tad transvestite? Let me, immediately, make myself clear: I am not proposing resorting to the ghastly platitude that is getting, or simulating, a tan. If there is one thing ITV's The Only Way is Essex has given us - pudenda ornamentation apart - it is the realisation that Tangoing has reached its cartoonish postmodern limit.
Bronzing, after all, is a painfully recent phenomenon - and so last century to boot. For millennia the ideal was to be sun-shielded; for a mere few decades it's been all about getting scorched. We should view a tan for what it is: the mark of traumatised skin attempting to rectify damage.
I would not deign to darken my skin any more than I would expect a black friend to lighten hers. Instead, I am advocating valuing what nature gave us - black, white, or, in my own case, pale green.
Can I just get one other thing out of my system? Regarding sun protection: SPF is the only proven anti-aging product. And please do not fret about not scoring enough vitamin D, because you can get vitamin D out of a packet, there being no equivalent method to acquire a new face.
If you're an indoor-plant like moi, you can get by with a high-factor moisturiser à la Arden's nicely padding Ceramide Plump Perfect SPF 30 (£49; 020 7574 2714), or Saint Bobbi of Brown's Extra SPF 25 Moisturising Balm (£59.50,
www.bobbibrown.co.uk ).
Venture outdoors for more than 20 minutes and you will require a blockier block. I judge these not only on screening ability, but their capacity not to render subsequent slap akin to Jackson Pollock on an off day.
Dior's Capture Totale UV Protect SPF 35 lotion (£38; 020 7216 0216), Lauder's creamier Re-Nutriv Sun Supreme for Face SPF 30 (£70;
www.esteelauder.co.uk ) and Clarins's pearly pink Day Screen High Protection SPF 40 (£29; uk.clarins.com ) rate highly.
Do not commit the schoolgirl error of neglecting hands, neck and décolleté: invest in Boots's Soltan Moisturising Suncare Spray SPF 50+ in its portable 75ml incarnation (£5.29), or Neutrogena's Anti-Ageing Hand Cream SPF 25 (£4.55). The brazenly barefaced among you may simply require a little light concealer by way of subsequent augmentation. However, my feeling is that, if Mother Nature didn't want us to sport foundation, she wouldn't have given us Bobbi Brown. The Bobster's Creamy Concealer is the best in the business (£17). While I could enthuse about my other BB pashes, get yourself to a counter, describe the skin you hanker after and Team Bobs will give it to you.
Dior also excels in this quarter. My all-time favourite base is the bolstering Diorskin Sculpt Line-Smoothing Lifting Makeup SPF 20 (£33). Nevertheless, I am lightening up with Dita Von Teese's favourite Radiance Restoring Serum Foundation (£62). The brand's Nude Glow is a bit of an innovation - non-make-up make-up that imparts a healthy, sunlit gleam (£29.50). While Chanel's Ultra-Light Skin Perfecting Makeup is so very veristic that one can get away with pretending its dewy sheen is one's own (£31; 020 7493 3836).
May I propose a glimmering blusher rather than a turdily tawny bronzer? Becca's Pressed Shimmer Powder in the rosy gold Gypsy for those beautified by a pinkish palette (£30); Lauder's Bronze Goddess Sea Star Bronzing Blush for girls preferring a glinting coral (£29;
www.esteelauder.co.uk ). If you must include a bronze element, then Bobbi Brown's multi-toned Shimmer Bricks take the tawdry out of tan (£30.50).
From here on there are two sultry weather options: eyes or mouth.
Those of us who balk at the mess of lip colour can amuse ourselves with subtly shimmering, or resplendently colour-popping lids. Boots's 17 Solo Eye Shadows (£3.89), Barry M's Dazzle Dust (£4.50;
www.boots.com ) and Urban Decay's shadows (from £13.50;
www.houseoffraser.co.uk ) have both guises covered.
Lips can then be played down with one of Clinique's diverting Chubby Stick Moisturising Lip Colour Balms (£14,
www.clinique.co.uk ), or a clear, yet coloured Dior Addict Crystal Gloss (£20). That said, Chanel's Rouge Coco Shine has converted this lipstick phobic: sheer, ultra-flattering, cinchy pout polish (£22.50).
Those happy to lard the lips with more gusto will have a field day in the long, hot summer months. Keep eyes minimal: a flash of MAC's felt-tip style Rapidblack Penultimate liner, say (£14,
www.maccosmetics.co.uk ).
English rose types should investigate YSL's Rouge Pur Couture in Le Fuchsia and Belle de Rose (£22.50), or the Bobster's out-of-this-world Cosmic Raspberry (£16). Olive-skinned lasses who suit satsuma hues must seek out YSL's Rouge Pur Couture in Le Orange, or Chanel's zingy Rouge Coco Shine in Rebelle (£22.50).
WTF Chanel, it's Scandinavia! Have you got ANY clue how pale we are? 
. I heard Laura Mercier and Stila have shades suitable for a fair skin, but can anyone reccomend me something tried and tested?
