Robert Pattinson Is Alive Again
By
Taffy Brodesser-Akner
The Twilight heartthrob seemed damned to be a brooding ex-vampire forever.
But then he drove a stake through his career and got to work resurrecting it.
So it’s settled, says Rob Pattinson, we’re going to do ayahuasca together!
Ayahuasca is an Amazonian hallucinogen that people take to journey to the center of themselves,
usually with a shaman, usually on a retreat, and it is a totally normal and
valid way for us to spend one of our two days together, I completely agree.
Yes, Rob, let’s do it. For the great big stunt of our GQ cover story,
let’s take great big doses of ayahuasca.
Let’s slide down the gooey tunnels of our ids until we Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich.
Then I look it up. There’s a really long period of your trip where you’re just vomiting.
But we’re up for some vomiting! Nobody here is a newborn babe who can’t handle a
little reverse peristalsis! We just met, after all, and what better way to get to
know each other than a little kayak into each other’s insides? Me and Rob Pattinson!
Vomiting up a storm! What a story! But—but—maybe all that vomiting would make it hard to talk?
Maybe it would change our psyches irreparably and return us to our loved ones forever altered?
It might, right? Back to the drawing board.
But you know what they say: There are no wrong ideas in a brainstorm.
read more at
gq.com