When Public Feedback Goes Wrong

[oanadobre]

Well, being a fashionista is hard, IMO. The average taste of people is...well... average. Every time I go outside dressed according to a new trend, I get the STARE. The other day I went someplace wearing a pair of shoes with ribbons on them They ere very nice shoes: dark blue, with very fine ribbons. The look was also very erll put together, too: dark blue belt, an white and dark blue shirt and a very nice white shirt. I was actually quite proud of myself. As I entered the room, I got the STARE. Then, a girl in army-pants with a horrible jeans jacket shouted: your shoes are horrible! You look like you wew in the 50's! I tried to explain to her that it was exactly my idea to create a sexy 50's secretary look, but she kept on laughing!
How do you cope with that?

 

[mikeijames]

well there are two types of stares (both i ignore, but one is the stare of assessing look (trying to identify what label, what trend, what look you are going for are participating with); the second is the scoffing look (which seeks to somehow belittle you, or make you feel wierd)...

the funny thing is...these looks don't just originate from the unfashionable or those whose generation has passed, it comes from other fashionistas, too.

 

[oanadobre]

Believe me, as her "portrait" shows, she is not a fashionista. However, she did manage to make me feel uncomfortable. I sometimes get this feeling also in my neighbourhood, where most of the girls my age wear low- waist jeans, with their thong showing...

 

[faust]

Originally posted by oanadobre@Mar 17th, 2004 - 9:18 am
Well, being a fashionista is hard, IMO. The average taste of people is...well... average. Every time I go outside dressed according to a new trend, I get the STARE. The other day I went someplace wearing a pair of shoes with ribbons on them They ere very nice shoes: dark blue, with very fine ribbons. The look was also very erll put together, too: dark blue belt, an white and dark blue shirt and a very nice white shirt. I was actually quite proud of myself. As I entered the room, I got the STARE. Then, a girl in army-pants with a horrible jeans jacket shouted: your shoes are horrible! You look like you wew in the 50's! I tried to explain to her that it was exactly my idea to create a sexy 50's secretary look, but she kept on laughing!
How do you cope with that?

Yea, wow, it's really hard, you know, like, you try putting so much effort in how you look, and then like, people like judge you, you know, like what the hell, they can't dress at all, but they like judge you or something...

 

[oanadobre]

Originally posted by faust+Mar 17th, 2004 - 11:17 am--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(faust @ Mar 17th, 2004 - 11:17 am)</div><div class='quotemain'> <!--QuoteBegin-oanadobre@Mar 17th, 2004 - 9:18 am
Well, being a fashionista is hard, IMO. The average taste of people is...well... average. Every time I go outside dressed according to a new trend, I get the STARE. The other day I went someplace wearing a pair of shoes with ribbons on them They ere very nice shoes: dark blue, with very fine ribbons. The look was also very erll put together, too: dark blue belt, an white and dark blue shirt and a very nice white shirt. I was actually quite proud of myself. As I entered the room, I got the STARE. Then, a girl in army-pants with a horrible jeans jacket shouted: your shoes are horrible! You look like you wew in the 50's! I tried to explain to her that it was exactly my idea to create a sexy 50's secretary look, but she kept on laughing!
How do you cope with that?

Yea, wow, it's really hard, you know, like, you try putting so much effort in how you look, and then like, people like judge you, you know, like what the hell, they can't dress at all, but they like judge you or something... [/b][/quote]
Exactly. I thought some of you might have had the same experience...

 

[Sugo]

hahaha
faust
LMAO
oanadobre :hint: sarcasm

 

[oanadobre]

Originally posted by Sugo@Mar 17th, 2004 - 11:45 am
hahaha
faust
LMAO
oanadobre :hint: sarcasm

Maybe so, maybe not... However, the problem exists (at least for me), therefore, I thought I could share it with you...

 

[leyla m.]

Originally posted by oanadobre+Mar 17th, 2004 - 5:51 pm--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(oanadobre @ Mar 17th, 2004 - 5:51 pm)</div><div class='quotemain'> <!--QuoteBegin-Sugo@Mar 17th, 2004 - 11:45 am
hahaha
faust
LMAO
oanadobre :hint: sarcasm

Maybe so, maybe not... However, the problem exists (at least for me), therefore, I thought I could share it with you... [/b][/quote]
oanadobre,

i know what you talking about. but when you wear something it should be cos youre convinced it looks good on you= you dont even feel the comments or stares!

where i live, i often get stares. but now the people here know me and i couldnt care less what they think. and they got used to me looking a bit different sometimes B)

you just should take it with humour

 

[CelineChic]

Unfortunately I dont handle it very well

Sometimes I get offended and forget about having class.

I had come back from a trip to NYC and had bought a pair of Manolos when they started to become popular when SJP was wearing them on SATC. ANYWAY, I went back home and went to a bistro with my buddy and his new girlfriend. I of course wore my new shoes.

His girl had the balls to say to me "Honey those look like plastic shoes that the girls working the corner wear"


I retorted with "I'll wear these over your 15$ wal-mart shoes any day. These probably cost more than your months rent"


I felt terrible and my face turned red. I dont know what got into me. So now when people make comments I either say "Well I like it" or "Too each their own opinion"


It still upsets me though especially when its people who have no personal style themselves

 

[banana]

People will always be snobs no matter what you wear. In grade 6 I used to wear hand me down sweaters that my aunts wore in the 70s and would get laughed at by everyone. Two years later the whole 70s look was mainstream and everyone was wearing the same style sweater that they had bought from the GAP.

I know this doesn't help when people are being rude and constantly teasing you about it, but you will laugh at it down the road. I just dealt with the situation by wearing more boring clothes to school until I made friends with people who were more accepting and had their own individual style.

 

[softgrey]

some evil creature at the office once had the nerve to tell me that my outfit looked like i was going to go jump out of a plane..it was a cdg parachute top w/cropped pants and those flat rubber prada sandals and glasses i had made to look like clear plastic goggles...

she laughed in my face and said what are you wearing?!---this is a 40 yr old woman with a weight problem and dandruff issues...she's critiquing me...



i laughed right back at her (how could i not!) and said-i know, isn't it great!!!...she looked at me again and said ...i like it, actually...

i think if you have the confidence and really love something, it doesn't matter who says what and people will respond better if you feel comfortable with yourself...

try to have a sense of humour about it all...

 

[Sugo]

My outfits have provided the secretaries with hours upon hours of gossiping
and I love it!!

 

[Annako]

I join with what everyone said so far, and i will tell you that no matter where you live, the same thing happens. (I'm in NYC). I like colors, usually bright ones, but well matched with the other parts of the outfit. I was once ostracized really badly because I was wearing a bright orange loose shirt, with a green toned shirt underneath. I was told that I reminded the speaker of a traffic light (together with being so tall-way above her head). You know, the reason I mention it, is that if you let people bother you about one thing like your shoes, it will have no end. Next its the color of your clothes, then something else. You cannot let other people's insecurities (that is most probably why they say it in the first place) run your life and your choices.

 

[Jaim45]

I get stares ALL the time. Sometimes I feel like I am overdressed everywhere I go - but I'm not trying to steal the thunder, its just me!

Most of the stares come from snobby insecure teenagers in my experience

 

[softgrey]

Originally posted by oanadobre@Mar 17th, 2004 - 9:18 am
Well, being a fashionista is hard, IMO. The average taste of people is...well... average. Every time I go outside dressed according to a new trend, I get the STARE. The other day I went someplace wearing a pair of shoes with ribbons on them They ere very nice shoes: dark blue, with very fine ribbons. The look was also very erll put together, too: dark blue belt, an white and dark blue shirt and a very nice white shirt. I was actually quite proud of myself. As I entered the room, I got the STARE. Then, a girl in army-pants with a horrible jeans jacket shouted: your shoes are horrible! You look like you wew in the 50's! I tried to explain to her that it was exactly my idea to create a sexy 50's secretary look, but she kept on laughing!
How do you cope with that?

i will have to clarify one point...having re-read the original post...i have never considered myself a 'fashionista' nor do i think does anyone else think i am...so maybe it's not the same...not sure...

 

[LadyIllusion]

I can really relate to what everyone here has said. Being 6 feet tall makes me stand out, much less my clothes. I think if you feel great in what you wear or how you put your outfits/accessories together are far more important that the jealous comments people will always make.

I know someone who was like that with me, everytime she saw me she would look me up and down to see what new thing i was wearing or which designer bag i was carrying, if it was better than hers, it would be a negative comment. I have very long wavy european hair(mixed with black/asian and white) and she would always tell me to tie it back, when i left it out, "because it was too bushy or big". My husband would tell me not to listen to her, because she was jealous of me. I didn't believe it for a long time, but that didnt change anything, instead it made me dress more funky or carried a new handbag, wear my hair out more when she was around just to annoy her

BE YOURSELF and DONT LET JEALOUS PEOPLE CHANGE YOU

 

[Julie Michele]

Hmmm, great topic. I get the stares too. It makes me a little self-conscious, but not as much as it used to when I was younger.

As soon as the negative voices in my head go, "What is their problem? I'm getting sized up, did I mismatch something? Do I look weird?", I shew them out of my head with, "They're looking cause you look great and they want to know where you got that outfit and that bod in it!" It helps. Especially when you have self-confidence lulls which I went through a 2 year period of something terrible.

The last semi insulting comment I got came from a long time friend of mine about a year ago. Bless her heart, she is SO homely and has no sense of style so I didn't get too offended because I figured she didn't know what she was talking about anyway. I mean, how long have flair legged jeans been out now? I wore these flared Donna Karan jeans with an Arden B delicate cap sleeved cheer chiffon top with a petite ruffle running down the front. When I walked into the room she started laughing and calling me Marsha Brady. Now, really, I do have blonde straight hair and the probably the same height and build as Marsha, but it was clearly the outfit she was knocking and IMO it was a pretty ordinary outfit. I was like, "Are you HIGH? What the hell are you talking about? Look at your out of date hair you've had for 20 years and dressing out of some kind of plain Jane catalog like Newport News!" She got a big kick out of calling me Marsha and still does to this day.

 

[Lena]

Originally posted by softgrey@Mar 17th, 2004 - 10:45 pm
think if you have the confidence and really love something,it doesn't matter who says what and people will respond better if you feel comfortable with yourself...

try to have a sense of humour about it all...

so agree with you softgrey

i get stares all the time but i honestly never pay any attention, let them stare until their eyes fall down.. i dont care at all.
actually i mismatch on purpose, i try always 'not to fit in' no matter where i go, i like to surprise people and never anyone said a nasty thing to me about the way i look.

apart one time.. (and that was ages ago) i was wearing dark glasses at night, it was in an open air club -summer- and a guy comes to me with the question "how comes you are wearing sunglasses at night"
guess what? i replied "why dont YOU??"
you can well imagine he run hiding...

confidence makes all the difference and please pay no attentionand if they say anything just be quick and clever in replying and attack with humour.

 

[TheSoCalledPrep]

I have been contemplating starting a thread on this for some time.. thank you so much for doing it for me!!

This problem is horrible for me. I'm in 8th grade, so the people at my school aren't even insecure teenagers yet.

As I mentioned in the Pointy Toe thread, constantly, people say "Are you an elf?" and "Don't those HURT? Are your toes, like, up in the end? Owww." I just roll my eyes.

A couple monthes ago, I wore black cashmere lounge pants, trainers, and this extremely fuschia sweatshirt that I bought at the thrift for .49 kiss and cut the neckline really long, and cut the elastic off the wrists. I knocked it off my shoulder and wore a black tank underneath. It was very 80s. And, I got: "Hey, 80s girl." "You look like a aerobics instructor." "Just get back from dance class?" "Ewww, look at that pink thing she's wearing." No respect at ALL for the current 80s trend that was going on.

A white cotton shirt, beige wool trousers and pointy stilettos is a pretty simple outfit, right? Well, that kind of outfit creates such a stir. Every other girl at my school wants to 'fit in', and they think wearing blue jeans and "expensive" 25$ Abercrombie baby tees will help them be part of the crowd. I guess it does make them part of the crowd. Who wants to be part of the crowd?

Since I have to keep up my celebrity-like status lol, my next shocker for the masses is going to be a copy of the Comme Des Garcons off-lipstick.

 

[Lena]

(regardless that i have a soft point against stilletos)
you need to show compassion to those little brics in the wall dear socalledprep,
uniformity is so sad and people need badly to 'belong'

they also need badly someone to point this finger out screaming "shes different, how dare she has the guts ewwww"
by dressing up 'out of the norm' we are always reminding people they TOO could have a chance and this makes them MAD, because it brings out their own pathetic uniformity / comformity