Defending your fashion interest

[ThisHollywoodLfe]

Spike 413 and chiangsi1980 summed it up pretty good. . .

but, I can definately relate to this thread, and I just want to say that for me justification is not always needed with most people, my good friends understand becasue i've gone over it with them, but people are gonna have opinions regardless and as long as you are happy with the purchases who cares. I explain to people that im paying this much for a jacket or whatever but I'll have it for a long time and really love the piece. I don't like to talk money becasue where people go you are crazy but it goes back to the whole caring what you wear thing, most people jsut hear the label and don't understand the process of choosing a really great one-of-a-kind item.

 

[charlottesometimes]

Hmm, I thought it would dump you right into the test, but evidently not...

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/index.jsp

Ok, click on the link, then click on the British flag (far right of the flags). On the next page, click on "Go to the demonstration tests." On the next page, click "I wish to proceed." Then the page full of tests comes up: click on "Gender IAT." This test looks at attitudes regarding women and science.

The other tests are interesting as well, including the racism one.

Thanks tinuvielberen!
The tests are really interesting.

 

[Arturo21]

Wow, this is a wonderful thread. We need this. Most of us here do...

And you've all made excellent points. People just don't understand our aesthetic as related to living life. So what if a female doctor actually looks feminine. She deserves it, so people should let her be and respect her.

First of all..AYLI..wow, that is incredible. I feel so angry at what happened to you. That is SICK. Ignore trash like that, they don't matter...

I pretty much agree with Spike413 and AlexN.

I've only just started earning my own money at the dear age of 16. Therefore, I just wear average clothes at the moment (although I get a lot of compliments form my outfits). My problem is, I'm male, 16, and straight and I like fashion. People, SOCIETY can't grasp that. I have to justify myself to my parents and people I don't know time and time again. Frankly, I'm sick of it. People who call me superficial are just stupid and what they say to me backfires on them. Why? Because I understand craft and aesthetics in fashion, I understand emotions in fashion. They don't. That's why they're superficial only seeing the clothing as superfluous, only seeing the surface of the clothing and not letting meaning enter their stupid, hard heads. I've made sure that I'm not going to be ridiculed by friends or parents. I've already had an argument with my parents, with whom I get along very well, where I was bright red and at the top of my lungs defending my interest in fashion. And I'll do it with anyone who can't grasp my interest in fashion's meaning. People only see the trashy, chavy superficial fashion on TV and think that that's fashion. They don't see Carol Christian Poell and Martin Margiela. They have a perverted view of Chanel and Balenciaga. That's why they don't understand. That's why they'll never understand. That's why we have to stop not justifying ourselves because it's our money anyway and defend ourselves because I want to live with respect and I'm sure you do. People know I'm not an airhead, and I'll say it, I'm smarter and more cultured than they are. So if they dare call me superficial..

*Deep breath*

Thx guys, I needed this

BTW, I"m really a very happy person, but this has been building up for way too long.

 

[AlexN]

Yves St. Laurent (though I'm never quite sure how you say "Yves,")

Eve.

 

[impossibleprincess]

I'v felt this a lot recently because I've been filling out trainign contract applications for law firms and when it comes to the hobbies and interests box the first thing I think of is fashion, but instead I end up writing about reading, volunteering helping with children, and the socials I organise at university-all of which I actually do do, but they are secondary to my interest in fashion. That's just the way it is. My parents really do not get it, my friends are very into clothes but not fashion per se, and when I talk about designers I get met with blank looks from a a few people.

 

[As You Like It]

Eve.

Thank goodness I've been doing it right all these years, then.

I just take it as a rule of thumb that you don't pronounce about the back half of any given French word, and it seems to work out.

 

[fashionist]

I completely agree impossibleprincess, whenever i have to list my hobbies on a form i'm always worried about adding fashion (even though it's a MAJOR interest) in case they stereotype me as superficial because of it. Society's prejudices make me so angry

 

[snowqueen]

I love fashion because im not very accademic, you dont need to be good at righting or reading to understand fashion. People think im odd for liking it so much but for me its more then a hobbie its a way of life and a pashion. People think im odd when i come out with these random facts about designers etc. they think its odd when i can go around high street shops and look at all the items and say which designer they have taken inspiration from. For me fashion is like stepping out of my self and becoming some thing else. I love to shop and love everything about clothes from the material to designing them to making them to looking at pictures of them. Fashion is a way of expressing your self and making you stnad out from the crowd, fashion is what gives you your identity.

 

[J'aime_la_mode]

I just found this older thread its all so true espeically Arturo21's post.

 

[Scott]

Many people often see fashion as rather superficial and vain. Well,I'd probably agree with that to a certain degree. But often,I argue,that there are many facets in this industry...not just what one sees through mainstream ideaology. Many people have a different ideal of what it is or what it should be. And in my arguement,I tell them that there are many respectable creative talents who think of fashion as merely a foundation to express themselves;their emotions. Some may know nothing else to do, so they choose clothes to create their dynamics. Their world.

 

[snowqueen]

Were I live people care alot about "fashion" (well what they think is fashion) people generally dress head to toe designer etc. so ive never really had to justifie my self. People care a hell of alot about "fashion" here.

 

[Pinky*]

to pose a question on top of what has been said:
do you think well dressed men are perceived as more successful than well dressed women?

People often comment that items I purchase are frivolous for their price.. I tell them that if it was the exact same item for a much more 'affordable' price I would buy it as well. Yet, they seem not to believe me..

Often I think money comes into question. Horrible as it is, I think some people just can't put money behind them. They think you'll buy high end items simply for the exclusivity and 'glamour' as they don't appreciate the design. Its quite sad really, that this happens. I have a little story below if anyone is interested.

As for simply being well dressed, I think sometimes people feel threatened by this, as if you would be more judgemental of them..

The sad story:
My mother was always a big fashionista and loved being well dressed. Before she started business, she would go shop nearly every day (which is a bit much, I admit). I have fond memories of going to boutiques with her and watching my mom dress up in pretty outfits.

Well, then we moved to another country, making new friends. These friends at first would often talk about wishing to own a chanel dress, etc but not being able to afford it, etc. However, they were horrified to find out that my mother was wearing a chanel dress. "How can she spend so much?", "she cares more about fashion than her daughter", "Let her waste all her money if she wants to".

Its funny that they no longer saw what they admired - the dress. but instead all they saw in my mom was a walking price tag of wasted money, obsession with status, and neglect of the "finer things in life".

My mother, in her naievty thought that if she invited these 'friends' to choose some items from her huge collection, then they could finally be able to wear their dream clothes without the guilt from their wallets. They came of course, brought even their other friends my mother didn't know! After running off with their bounty the negativity became worse. "What, she thinks she can just give us her old clothes?", "shes trying to show off how rich she is to us, she treats us as low class people and we will be so grateful".. I have to point out these items were probably worn once and were classic, investment items, not 'rejected' clothes my mother no longer wanted..

lets just say they aren't friends anymore. I'm not sure what to say other than how sad it is.. all they saw was $$.. and it seems there is no good way to defend fashion for women. In my experience, men who buy sports cars are perceived more as successful than women who will shop at high end boutiques..

 

[Moonshine]

I hate when people tell me I'm vain or shallow because I am interested so much in fashion. It's called wanting to look good and everybody does it. Some care more than others. It's not such a crime.

 

[crankypants]

That's a sad story, Pinky.

 

[Avant Garde]

If buying a nice bag, or buying a lot of clothes give you more satisfaction than buying 'necessary' items. Than I say go for it! I know a wardrobe filled with the best clothes, shoes, accesories, will give me more happiness than a new car.

 

[Baizilla]

I agree with Arturo...

It is hard to be a young male, straight and interested in fashion...

.. i have to defend my interest in fashion almost everyday... People are always asking questions about my sexual preference...

In the end it is really exhausting to keep on defending, but i guess you have to fight for what you love...

 

[AlexN]

I really don't have any problems with people calling me gay or anything. I don't know...maybe some people perceive me that way from a distance at first glance, but I know I don't come off as being the least bit gay to anyone who meets me. However, I do get odd questions and comments every once in a while, but they're typically so dumb and pointless that it's almost humorous. Actually, I think I was asked "Why are you so dressed up today?" at least three times just this past week, to which I replied, "Because I put on nice clothes this morning." I find it to be the perfect answer; they just end up feeling dumb and awkward... "Oh, uhhhhh...cool." Then I give them a weird look and go about my business.

The only "problem" I have is with my mom, which I totally don't understand. She was a ballet costumer for a looong time, so I'd think she could understand and appreciate all types of fashion. WRONG. She thinks anything the least bit creative and artistic is weird, pointless, stupid, etc. It's so frustrating. I'll show her something I think is cool (it's usually not even that strange, at least by fashion standards), and she'll be like, "I don't get it. That just looks weird. The cut is bad. I don't get it." No, mom. The cut is different. That's the friggin' point. "That shirt is too tight." No, the shirt is fitted. Not everything has to be three sizes too big like the "American standard". "But that's how shirts traditionally fit." That doesn't mean it looks good to have the shoulders cut an inch too big on each side or to have the bottoms of the armholes practically at your stomach. "Why do you need those zippers there?" BECAUSE THEY F*CKING LOOK COOL. Do you use half the zippers on anything you own? Do you even use the pockets of your jeans? No.

God, it's SO stupid. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear she just argues with me for the sake of arguing. Then she'll see the plainest, most "classic" piece in a show and say how nice and beautiful it is. Why, Mom? It looks like the 500 other versions that have been done before. Fashion isn't about looking for the most boring thing you can find. It's about design, artistry, reinterpretation... That's another thing...she doesn't seem to grasp the concept of a runway show being for image and picking out single pieces from "unwearable" looks. Is it really that difficult?

I will never get anything across to her.

Arturo, you're right; this thread is great for venting.

 

[Arturo21]

I really don't have any problems with people calling me gay or anything. I don't know...maybe some people perceive me that way from a distance at first glance, but I know I don't come off as being the least bit gay to anyone who meets me. However, I do get odd questions and comments every once in a while, but they're typically so dumb and pointless that it's almost humorous. Actually, I think I was asked "Why are you so dressed up today?" at least three times just this past week, to which I replied, "Because I put on nice clothes this morning." I find it to be the perfect answer; they just end up feeling dumb and awkward... "Oh, uhhhhh...cool." Then I give them a weird look and go about my business.

The only "problem" I have is with my mom, which I totally don't understand. She was a ballet costumer for a looong time, so I'd think she could understand and appreciate all types of fashion. WRONG. She thinks anything the least bit creative and artistic is weird, pointless, stupid, etc. It's so frustrating. I'll show her something I think is cool (it's usually not even that strange, at least by fashion standards), and she'll be like, "I don't get it. That just looks weird. The cut is bad. I don't get it." No, mom. The cut is different. That's the friggin' point. "That shirt is too tight." No, the shirt is fitted. Not everything has to be three sizes too big like the "American standard". "But that's how shirts traditionally fit." That doesn't mean it looks good to have the shoulders cut an inch too big on each side or to have the bottoms of the armholes practically at your stomach. "Why do you need those zippers there?" BECAUSE THEY F*CKING LOOK COOL. Do you use half the zippers on anything you own? Do you even use the pockets of your jeans? No.

God, it's SO stupid. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear she just argues with me for the sake of arguing. Then she'll see the plainest, most "classic" piece in a show and say how nice and beautiful it is. Why, Mom? It looks like the 500 other versions that have been done before. Fashion isn't about looking for the most boring thing you can find. It's about design, artistry, reinterpretation... That's another thing...she doesn't seem to grasp the concept of a runway show being for image and picking out single pieces from "unwearable" looks. Is it really that difficult?

I will never get anything across to her.

Arturo, you're right; this thread is great for venting.

EXACT problem I have with my parents. Now I get along with them, but they always say 'That's too big'. If anything isn't at least 2 sizes up, they say it's too small. I say, but mom, that's how it's supposed to be...fitted! No, look around you arturo, who wears fitted clothing? Ok..I'll go buy an XXXL Ashworth polo if that makes you happy...Then they always have their little snide remarks, how much did you spend on that $300

"$300 DOLLARS!!! WHAT A RIPOFF!!"
I don't think so , anyway, I like it and plus I didn't spend full price on it.

Yeah, right, that yoox place you got it from is such a ripoff. They're not telling you the truth about the retail price, they just put some high retail price so that you'll be it at the high "sale" price.

COME ON....AS IF IT'S TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE THAT ANY JACKET COULD COST MORE THAN $45!!!

Then they go and say that they bought a perfectly nice one from some department store at $50 on sale.
but lately they're more accepting..and anyway i tend to get along with them really well..but they don't understandmy liking fashion.

Then at school, ppl are like, " how much did you spend on that" Then I go all humble and say "I dunno my mom bought it for me at a department store in the mall"

or then there's the

"That thing looks so cool, it looks like something you would find in europe! what brand is it, man that looks expensive"


Then I kind of shy away...I don't want to be praised either. Baizilla, alex - it's nice to know that there are more of us, isn't it?

and Alex, that's the perfect response for the 'dressed up' thing, i"m definately using it!

 

[Melisande]

So many sad stories... but I have a NICE story to share...

...the head of admissions of one of the top US universities once told me that she thought a prospective student was perfect because she was a courageous individualist wearing bright purple high heels in a very conservative country.

Isn't that great? (the heels weren't the only reason of course! )

So, people who do understand, DO understand. I think it's those people we should keep in mind when dressing. I know it can be hard though. I have lots of mileage on guilt trips.

 

[MV AgUsTa]

Well, my family never really had much money to spend on clothes for me. I spent pretty much my whole life shopping at Kohls.

Last year I got a job for a mortgage company and took a year off before I went to college. I made some good money, most of which I tucked away in an IRA and savings account. A small portion of my paychecks went to...well, Express Men and 1 pair of designer jeans. Let me tell you, I've never taken more flak from my family over money.

"You spent HOW MUCH on a single pair of jeans?!?"

I guess that's how life is as a "poor" college student. You splurge once and never heard the end of it!