For years intersex activism didn’t have a face. In 2013, when my novel Golden Boy, about a sweet teenager, Max, who is struggling to hide his intersexuality from his friends and love interest, came out, public knowledge of the condition was embryonic, even though it affects up to 1.7 percent of the population. (That means it’s as common as being a redhead.)
Intersex readers wrote to me saying how much it meant to see a protagonist who was like them. I emailed back and forth with these kids; most had been suicidal. But they felt less alone just knowing there was a fictional character out there who understood what they were going through. Still, it was fiction: Intersex remained largely invisible on the real-world stage. Young people were scared of coming out; there was no one for them to gather behind, no wider community for them to be a part of.
Then, in January, Belgian supermodel Hanne Gaby Odiele, 29, revealed she's intersex in an interview with USA Today and announced a partnership with InterACT, an advocacy group, taking aim at the genital surgeries performed on intersex children to make them appear either male or female. I knew from my research that these surgeries often result in infertility, additional surgery, hormone therapy, and loss of sexual pleasure. They are performed on children, sometimes shortly after birth, and parents are put under extreme pressure to consent to them, to give their child a “normal” life. In 2015 the United Nations deemed such nonconsensual genital surgeries a human rights violation.
Overnight after Odiele shared her story, the intersex community had a new face, a new “Max,” but this time she was a real person, and she was speaking out for them. I remember thinking how chill and happy she seemed in a video for InterACT. I am a big believer in constructive activism—not raging against the machine but, with positivity and cooperation, building a new one. Odiele wasn’t angry; she wasn’t self-shaming. She talks about intersex in a way that was just another kind of “normal,” and in doing so she is helping others come forward. I caught up with her to see how her life has changed.
GLAMOUR: First, let’s tackle something: People often confuse intersex with trans.
HANNE GABY ODIELE: Intersex is about sex characteristics [such as genitalia], whereas trans is more about gender [identity]. You can be both! I don’t want to speak about differences, though. At the end of the day, we all want to be ourselves and to be loved.
GLAMOUR: Beautifully put. And when did you first start to know you were different?
HGO: Doctors discovered pretty early on that I was intersex, but I only learned when I was 17. I was reading an article in a teen magazine about a girl who’d had surgeries, couldn’t have a period, and I thought, Hmm, that sounds a lot like me. I actually showed it to my doctor, who confirmed it for me: That’s what you are. But I always kind of knew too*—other kids didn’t have to go to the doctor and pull their pants down.
GLAMOUR: And how did your parents talk to you about that?
HGO: They never really got the whole story. The doctors were just like, “Oh, we’re just going to have a surgery, she’s going to have to take medicines, then it’s going to be OK.” They never really explained the whole concept [to my parents]. This was the nineties; it was like, whatever the specialist said, that’s what you’re going to do…. When I found out the full truth, it was a relief. Because I’m intersex, sometimes a doctor would say, “Don’t tell anyone.” So you feel a lot of shame, and you feel very alone. From 17 on, I was able to meet other people like me, and things got a lot better.
GLAMOUR: Did you have to have hormone therapy? And how does that affect you?
HGO: Yes, because of the surgeries. I [was born with] androgen insensitivity syndrome, which means I’m XY chromosome like typical boys but with internal undescended testes; my body looks female. Surgery removed the testes, [but that impacts your] hormones, which affect your mood, your development, your bones. You need hormones, so since age nine I’ve basically been on birth control. For someone who can’t have babies, it’s ironic!
GLAMOUR: Was there an exact moment you felt ready to go public? Were you nervous at all? You seemed really cool and calm!
HGO: I’d just gotten married last year, and then I was reading some stuff online that kids were still going through surgery. That’s just wrong. We’ve ignored this long enough—it’s time that we can talk about this. It’s 2017, why not?
GLAMOUR: There’s been a big wave of activism about being more accepting of people’s sexual identity. Do you think it would have been possible for you to go public even five years ago?
HGO: Personally, I wasn’t there. I was working so much; I was not in the mental space either. It was something that I always wanted to do, but I didn’t want to be overwhelmed. Like, right now I have more—time, everything. I’ve been very lucky. Without my friends, my family, my husband, and their support, I would have not been able to come forward. I was just ready, personally ready.
GLAMOUR: How has your relationship with your husband helped you get to this point?
HGO: He’s a great support for me. He really encouraged me in this coming out. We’ve been together eight years, and he’s known from pretty much the beginning. For him it’s never been an issue. Also, he’s adopted, and the only point I was struggling with a bit was that I can’t naturally have babies. He was like, “We can adopt! I’ve been adopted; I had a great childhood. Maybe one day we can do that.”
GLAMOUR: You’ve been working with InterACT. Have intersex teenagers written to you about your activism?
HGO: Many, many, many. I also know parents who just found out their child is intersex. They were considering surgery, and now they’re like, “Oh, we’ll wait.” That’s one of the best reactions.
GLAMOUR: And what do you hope for the future for intersex people?
HGO: I want to end the irreversible surgeries on kids who don’t know what’s going on. I don’t want kids to go through the same thing that happened to me. Every day these surgeries still happen. I think by being able to talk freely and openly, more and more intersex people can have their own identity and won’t have to hide their struggles. Being intersex is actually really wonderful. I feel very happy. Sharing my story has made me stronger. Right now I’m stronger than ever.
