Kim Kardashian (please put all Kim news here)

[funkystar]

Twitter is having a field day with this news and I found some hilarious tweets from an Aussie site . Post any other funny tweets you find

KIM Kardashian's divorce has given comedians a target as big as her ample behind. Here are the best jokes.

@EliBraden
It's a shame Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries won't be together to celebrate the one year anniversary of the first time they ever met


@Chet_Cannon
@KimKardashian is getting divorced... I've known that for 72 days. #OldNews


@jenneraub
I can't wait for E!'s obligatory Kim Kardashian 2-Hour Divorce Spectacular!


@nealbrennan
Kim Kardashian fails to pick up 2nd season of her own marriage.


@MattGoldich
"72 days? I've had sex longer than that!" - Sting


@MattGoldich
Question for my wife: does this mean I can erase the Kim Kardashian wedding special from the DVR?


@GeorgeTakei
Kim Kardashian files for divorce after 72 days. Another example of how same-sex marriage is destroying the sanctity of the very institution.


@sbellelauren
i can't wait until the episode where kim realizes she has to send back every present & decides not to get divorced after all


@Kaneshow
Lindsay Lohan's line of coke #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage


@JchapSU
#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage Taylor Swifts acceptance speech before Kanye interrupted her

@DamienFahey
Excited for the release of the Kardashian Kollection's convertible wedding dress that also turns into a pantsuit for divorce court hearings.

news.com.au

 

[Ochi Chernye]

Where are you guys getting that she earned $18 million from televising her wedding? That seems like an obscene amount of money, especially for a network like E. I don't doubt she probably earned a good amount of money, but $18 million?! Are there any reliable sources for this?

 

[Label Basher]

^ I read 17 million but who's counting. It's been on plenty of sites so it 'must' be true.

 

[Ochi Chernye]

I found an article on the New York Post that broke down the earnings. I don't know if it's true, but it's a bit more clear on that number being published around on different sites.

Payments they received
* $15 million plus profit for four-hour, two-part wedding special on E!
* $2.5 million for exclusive photos with People magazine
* $300,000 for exclusive engagement announcement with People
* $100,000 for exclusive rights to bridal shower with Britain’s OK! mag
* $50,000 to have bachelorette party at Tao in Las Vegas

Stuff they got for free
* $15,000 to $20,000 Hansen’s Bakery wedding cake
* $20,000 Vera Wang wedding dress and fittings
* $40,000 for two more Vera Wang evening dresses
* $400,000 in Perrier Jouet Champagne
* $150,000 in hair and makeup for photo shoots and TV “home video”
* $10,000 in Lehr & Black wedding invitations

Deeply discounted
* $2 million 20.5-carat engagement ring and $1 million wedding bands by jeweler Lorraine Schwartz. The amount they paid for these items hasn’t been revealed, but it’s much less than their worth.

 

[Label Basher]

Also Kris has released a statement which hasn't been posted from TMZ -

Humphries told TMZ.com he was "committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents.

"I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce ... I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work," he said.

Imagine if he refuses to sign the divorce papers.

 

[Kenysha75]

Kris Humphries Wasn't Kim Kardashian's First Choice For A Fake Husband

Meet 23-year-old Italian piece Danilo Gallinari, the former forward of the New York Knicks and Kim Kardashian's first choice to play her trophy husband in the multimillion dollar whoretastic shi* show that was her soul-sucking manufactured wedding. That's what Wetpaint is alluding to, anyway. According to their source, before Pimp Mama Kris trapped Kris Humphries and threatened to sic Khloe on his family unless he signs his name in piss (the official ink of the Kardashian family) on a marriage contract, E! executives tried to set Kim up with Danilo. Danilo made the best decision of his life by turning those whores down and the rest is pisstory.

The source claims that while shooting the first season of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, Danilo was wanted by Kim Kardashian and E! tried to make it happen. They told Danilo that if he started dating Kim in front of the cameras, his career would blow up like her as*hole when it's forming a fart and he'd become an overnight star. Danilo said the words that Kris Humphries wish he was smart enough to say: "Thank you, but no thank you. And please tell Khloe to heel, because she's chewing on my favorite kicks." That's when E! and the Kardashian whores moved on to their next victim.


dlisted

 

[Nemova]

Interesting take on the subject: http://www.forbes.com/sites/clareoc...im-made-millions-but-what-about-her-sponsors/

 

[CommanderTMugler]

Ok right now I'm annoyed at "People" for paying them 2.8 million for photos.

 

[colourmefashion]

i knew this was going to happen once they got 'engaged'
doesnt surprise me one bit.

i bet the other sister is next to walk down the isle with that arrogant asss of hers.

 

[moirla]

I don't understand people who will do anything for money.
And I do agree with that Forbes article, this will be bad for Vera Wang.

 

[lizbabe09]

If this was a sham (which I won't speculate) who would even agree to this but someone who is desperate for attention. The fact that her first marriage at 19 years old lasted much longer than her marriage at 30 is embarrassing. I remember catching a part of the wedding special where she said she had been planning her wedding for years and he said that if that's the case she could pick anyone to get married to..so much foreshadowing took place in that special!

 

[colourmefashion]

i dont know much about kim but she was married before ?

 

[franki]

^ yes, she got married in vegas when she was 19! they were actually married until 2004!

 

[MyNameIs]

^WOW. That is brand new information. To whom was she married?

Ok right now I'm annoyed at "People" for paying them 2.8 million for photos.

Why? This should teach People and all those other publications a lesson not to get sucked into this sort of thing. Though I guess if the issue sold well for them, it's a win win for them, no?

 

[franki]

Damon Thomas was her first husband. i think he might be a music producer? they were married for about 4 years from what I have read (though they may have been separated for a while before divorcing).

 

[RandomGlitter]

I really hope the media respects her privacy during this difficult time.

 

[colourmefashion]

^

its for the media attention, so i doubt it

 

[Kenysha75]

YOU cannot put "kim kardashian" and "privacy" in the same sentence
Its not possible

 

[Style Savvy]

LOL, it's sarcasm.

 

[Kenysha75]

I know Im just sayin that for the kourtney letter sayin her sister needs some privacy and shi*