Once an ugly duckling.......

[Ghost]

HORMONES
I hate them

 

[russh_kris_z]

I hate pimples.. I hate scars .. i hate bad haircuts and chapped lips. All of this equals for me low self confidence . Being uglyy isn't a problem really. Most of the most popular girls (not the cliche movie types) are really not all that goo looking at all. They just really fun and kind and know how to do their hair etcc.

 

[bismarck]

I used to feel like an ugly duckling. But I figured out the best way to become a swan is to feel like one from the inside. One stupid secret/trick of mine when I am in a bad outfit and have a lack of confidence (which is honestly, pretty much everyday) is to imagine myself in a great outfit. Usually something off of a wishlist of mine... currently that Gap Rodarte bow dress. I walk with more confidence, and fashion also puts a smile on my face I'm starting to become more social. And also, if I actually get the outfit, I've built up my courage by then and am brave enough to wear it. I don't know, if I feel more confident on the inside, it shows. I know it sounds silly

I don't think that sounds silly; on the contrary, it sounds quite beautiful for some reason.

 

[BaroqueRockstar]

this thread makes me so sad
also brings back a lot of bad memories

 

[Whitelinen]

this thread makes me so sad
also brings back a lot of bad memories

What did you experience? How did you get over it?

 

[fashionista-ta]

I recently read The Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks, and seriously recommend it to anyone who wants to change his or her life ...

 

[BaroqueRockstar]

What did you experience? How did you get over it?

it was actually reading your post that triggered the memories...
it's hard to explain. i was just, always, a little out of place. no one would ever come out and say anything or directly do anything to me, but it was a million little things that make you feel really alone and different.

 

[BaroqueRockstar]

ok, me again.
when i was little, i used to move around a lot. my parents were still in school, so i would stay with some aunt or uncle for awhile, and then with some grandparent, and get passed around. the hardest part was school and making and keeping friends. when i finally permanently moved in with my parents, they were living in texas and the people weren't the nicest in the world. i'm very mixed, i have both south american and asian blood and white, and i remember in elementary school there were always a few kids making nasty remarks like "i don't like mexicans" or "i don't like japanese people" (i'm not even mexican, but peru is "close enough"), and then i didn't fit in with the asian group or the latino kids because i was too white.
throughout junior high, most girls started really caring about how they look, and how other people looked. i was deathly self-conscious. i spent so much time, money, and effort trying to look like and act like everyone else. but it always seemed like i could never get it right. if i didn't wear eye liner, someone would tell me i should because i'd look "like, sooo much better" and if i did someone would tell me i look like a vampire. i also used to have bad acne, and i was tall (i was 5'6'' when i was 11, when everyone else was 4-5 inches shorter), really skinny, and completely flat (it seemed like a death sentence).
at the end of JR high, i kind of gave up on trying to look good, threw out all of my makeup/nail polish/ jewelry/hair stuff.
interestingly, somewhere around the same time, guys went from thinking i was ugly to "adorable". girls, or at least the bleached blonde, fake tanned "popular" girls still thought i was ugly, so i learned (unfortunately) that the best listeners were boys, especially the the older ones trying to get into my pants. i also used to be very christian at the time, so i wouldn't sleep with them, and then they would give up and leave, so in short it led to some very bad experiences.
around junior year, i thought i finally started hanging out with the right people (people i can actually be myself around) and getting a grip, but it's still hard and i still have problems trusting people (especially boys). i'm still very self-conscious about how i look, but i would never admit that to anyone i know, and i pretend like i don't care at all. that way, if i don't look good, it's because i didn't try (even though i did). i especially hate my hair. the color is really weird (it's reddish brown) and thin and impossible to deal with, and i hate my nose. it's too wide, and just looks completely out of place and awkward. i really admire the people who honestly can completely not let how they look get in the way of what they want to do. i wish i could be like that, because i feel really pathetic and foolish as it is right now.

 

[russh_kris_z]

Baroquerockstar!! I had so many bad experiences too.. so bad !!!people even said I was a tryhard for trying to make a joke in primary school!! And thought my eyelashes were too long and made me look very very ghostly. Thank god that was primary school and its kind've over..but it was the most painful time of my life , I couldnt even put on lipgloss without them calling me a try hard..but its sad you had to deal with that.. you sound so nice and kind.. stupid ugly popular girls always trying to bring down peoples self esteem.

So many celebrities like Mischa Barton, Christina.A ,Nicole Kidman they were considered UGLY in school but look at them now and look at where all the people that bullied them are?

Also elise crombez also said that most models are the ones that thought they were so ugly , too tall and completely flat and yet those are the models now. The ones that people in school thought they were ugly. Its truth even Jessica Stam admitted this , that she really was not considered gorgeous in highschool at all . But really everyone has a beauty inside them , that is what I'm trying to say. You may be a beauty but you jsut don't know it. Just look at those models and actresses

Never ever mind what people say. If the people said I'm ugly I'll jsut laugh and go yup yup I'm ugly you wish you were ugly likeme =] but I'm sure it can hurt at times.. I understand , it must be even harder to move school and stuff.. dw ..we all have to go through crap to be strong!!!

And what is ugly and what is beautiful anyways? People who tell you you look like a vampire SUCK and I'm glad you are much happier now. xD


the end

 

[Whitelinen]

I guess you are quite beautiful then, BaroqueRockstar, if letting go of make-up etc. made you more interesting to other people. Good for you

I wish it would be as easy to just not care. Of course there isn't a textbook answer into what is beautiful and what is not. However, there are people who are ugly and people who have charm and beauty. I am also a little bit fed up with people coming up and saying that "y'know, this is going to make you stronger". Right, feeling worthless for as long as I can remember has made me stronger? It hasn't, on the contrary, I am weaker than ever have been. The are limits to everything, and right now this is starting to feel like a bad joke.

As for models and actresses. Of course they say they were ugly and bullied! That's what brings them money, when "ordinary" people feel they can relate to them and thus they are interested about the person, go to see her films, listen to her music or buy the magazine where she is in the cover. Because, you know, she's just like one of us. And why should looking up to a person who build their life around worshipping their own beauty and egoism be considered good role models to anyone, especially to people who have already distorted minds?

 

[fashionista-ta]

Since my post seemed not to cause a ripple in the pond, thought I'd explain just a little about what the Law of Attraction is

It proposes that your thoughts, and most especially your thoughts combined with strong emotion, are very powerful.

What you put your focus on, you get more of, and you attract to yourself.

If you put a lot of thought into negative feelings, guess what you get ... more of 'em

I can tell you that this is something I'm making a conscious effort to steer my thoughts away from. The book calls it bridging ... basically you build a mental bridge and cross over from the negative to the positive and focus there instead.

Once again, if you really want to make things better for yourself, you have the power to do so ... and I found this book to be a really helpful explanation of the process. If, however, you wish to wallow ... well, we are all experts on that, no explanation needed

 

[Whitelinen]

I did notice your suggestion, and did decide taking a closer look of the book I think it might be a good read, but it doesn't help with changing the outside. This is not all just in my head, and I need advice in that

Thank you for the suggestion

 

[gsquared]

i think everyone has one of those awkward stages. Mine was in late elementary-junior high. I had really frizzy hair..like my hair is usually straight..but some just grew out like zigzags! So my parents made me cut my hair really short...and I looked like a boy. I also wore big, hideous glasses and because I used to be tall compared to other students...I didn't walk straight...

I can still look 'ugly' now (but then..there are very few who are gorgeous w/o makeup)...I'm not the type that likes waste time putting on makeup and stuff...so I look pretty generic without it. But ever since high school..I can definitely look better when I want to...it just takes some time and effort.

A good haircut is really important..as is skincare. Then slowly work with enhacincing your features with make up (but not too much..natural is much better).

If you have a pretty face..it doesn't matter so much on what you wear. But if you're not confident about your physical looks..then a good sense of style with nice clothing and shoes will definitely give you a boost =)

A finally..I think inner beauty is def the most important. If you have a bad personality...it WILL BE reflected. I've seen many gorgeous girls with their designer ensembles and perfectly coiffed hair and updated makeup....but because they have a bad attitude/snobby etc....they look unapproachable and snotty. They don't realize this...but other people can tell. Even if you don't have a pretty face..but you're kind..people WILL notice =)

 

[Whitelinen]

I've had an awkward stage of nearly two decades... I think it is time for it to finish.

 

[heaven]

i think everyone goes through an awkward stage, i sure as hell did, but i think i would have been able to deal with it better if i actually had people at home encouraging me, or complimenting me, or telling me positive things, beauty is felt through self-confidence, and the teen years are when it should be built up, i think if i had my parents telling me i was okay, rather than not saying anything, i would have been more confident, but i didn't and i wasn't.....i had to teach myself in my twenties and mature on my own to not care about others, and know that not everyone is perfect, and everyone has some good qualities.

this thread makes me feel both sad and happy

 

[Whitelinen]

Now twice in a row someone has mentioned these awkward stages... how long did yours last? Mine's lasted for sixteen years. I don't think that can be called an "awkward stage". If it is, then I think this world is too full of irony.

 

[BaroqueRockstar]

fashionista-ta, i'll definately check out that book, thanks!!!

gsguared, i definately agree. it's hard though, because i've been putting on this "i don't care how i look" attitude for so long. next year, when i (finally) leave for college i think it'd be a nice chance to start over and come clean.

about "awkward stages", it's hard, i think, to define when mine were. they don't come up out of no where, and then magically disappear (or if they do i'm still waiting!). i guess for some of us it's more of a chronic awkwardness.

 

[chanelnumber5]

WhiteLinen I can really idenitfy with how you feel, so I have a couple of suggestions for you if you still want ideas. You said you dont want to use make up and I don't wear much either ( because I dont want to worsen my skin as its very oily and blemish prone) but I find curling my eylashes really helps to "perk up" my face. If its the chemicals you dont like in make up, there are quite alot of natural make up companies now. You mentioned your skin, sometimes the skin look tired because of a build up of dead cells, so exfoliating can help. I think theres a thread on here about exfoliating so there might be someone with sensitive skin who could reccomend you a product that would not irritate your skin. On clothes, you sound like you have a good figure, what sort of style of clothes do you like/want to have? I hope I've helped a bit

 

[Whitelinen]

Thanks! To be honest, if you look at the amount I spend thinking fashion and here at tFS, and then compare how I look and my wardrobe, you would never guess I liked fashion.

I don't know what I want... grace, elegance. But then, don't we all want that?

I took some photos of myself (face, silhouette, body) so I could ask people advice. I don't want to post them here in these threads, but if anyone is interested in checking them out and giving their opinion (and if you want, advice), send me a private message. I appreciate all help, even if you just take a quick look and then tell me what you think. It doesn't take much time.

Thank you

 

[sedirea]

Oh yeah.. I was an ugly duckling up to age 16ish.
I started to realize i wasnt really ugly that I just let other people make me believe it.

So I started doing these things to help fix it..

Plucking my eyebrows.
Exfoliating!
Getting your acne under-control.
Conditioning my hair twice a week (my hair goes past my butt!)
Wearing foundation! Only use it in places you really need it.
Losing weight, I lost around 50-60 pounds.

I wish i had wavy hair though