Should We Always Dress to Impress?

[Bgeltunsd]

I have two views on this: on the one hand, I love to feel good, and dressing well and being well groomed definitely contribute to that. I also completely understand the politeness thing, I recently apologized to a friend for looking like ****, when she only saw it as wearing no make up. It's a very subjective thing, and usually I don't think about people's reaction to the way I look (unless it's for say, a job interview), I think about my own opinion of myself.

On the other hand, sometimes I just really like to wear baggy jeans and a pair of sneakers, put my hair in a bun, and that's as far as styling will go. (I do wear a top then too ) What I'm saying with this look is "leave me alone" (I guess it depends on where you live, but sometimes I just can't stand men staring, it's just rude and annoying), or it's what I'll wear to go outside quickly like to take out the trash or buy bread, just can't be bothered to make an effort to look good.

As for romantic destiny: if a man can't be into me when I don't look my best, then he's not someone I'd be interested in anyway.

 

[Les_Sucettes]

I think it's all about context. I think you have the responsibility to look good in contexts where it is a sign of respect to others the fact you bothered to make an effort, to look polished. Whether be at work or simply a friend that invited you to their birthday. For the rest people should do as they please as long as they are clean, sometimes i dress in a way that i know will make me invisible, and i cherish that feeling. No make up, hair in a bun, a parka covering everything, glasses instead of lenses. And i'm ready to just walk around with no particular purpose. I find it quite liberating. But it does not mean at all i would feel comfortable always presenting myself like this, but to have that option is something we all should cherish.

 

[Feline]

What a lot of interesting views here. I don't agree with dressing to impress others. For a start, how would we know THEY would be impressed? We are all individuals and what would 'impress' one person would certainly not 'impress another. We should dress to please ourselves and what makes us feel good about ourselves in whatever situations we are in. As we all know, what is on the inside is far more important.

 

[softgrey]

i wish more people would care about how their appearance in public affects others...
ugly or ill-fitting clothes hurt my eyes...
...

sometimes i really have to avert my eyes from the ugly......
there is some horrifying stuff going on out there...


conversely-
i really appreciate someone who is well put together and happily tell them so...
i think we need to encourage the good and discourage the bad...

 

[cologne_rocks]

i wish more people would care about how their appearance in public affects others...
ugly or ill-fitting clothes hurt my eyes...
...

sometimes i really have to avert my eyes from the ugly......
there is some horrifying stuff going on out there...


conversely-
i really appreciate someone who is well put together and happily tell them so...
i think we need to encourage the good and discourage the bad...

I think a certain absence of style can be interesting, too. I love for example seeing beautiful people being dressed not so fashionably. It's like an antithesis. You see them very rarely, though!

 

[fashionista-ta]

Fashion sense, or personal style, is like a sense of humor--not everyone has one. I feel really bad for people without a sense of humor--to me that is an incredibly serious handicap and missing survival skill. I think it should be covered under the ADA [Americans with Disabilities Act, for those who don't live here]

Lack of fashion sense I see as considerably less serious. Some people who don't have it never will, and that's just the way it is. I accept it. And I also accept that some people are prioritizing something else, and that's completely legitimate too. Fashion sense is also a luxury--it doesn't cost money, but it does have a cost in terms of time, thought, effort.

 

[MulletProof]

I think a certain absence of style can be interesting, too. I love for example seeing beautiful people being dressed not so fashionably. It's like an antithesis. You see them very rarely, though!

One word: crusties. I'm inevitably attracted to them (hope it's not politically incorrect to call them that ).

 

[YoninahAliza]

That was very beautifully put Fashionista-ta. It's true, not everyone has a sense of style and that's okay. And you know, I'd never thought of fashion as a luxury but you are so right, it is. What I find interesting though is that sometimes it's the people who have all this money to spend on fashion who really lack a sense of style. But it's the person struggling to get by who has an innate sense of style. Maybe for some people who have less money they see more potential in an item of clothing because they have to be more creative with the things they own. Obviously this isn't always so but I've certainly seen it before.

I knew this older women who was an artist, she lived on a rundown farm and didn't have a lot of money, but she had some of the most amazing sense of style I've ever seen. Whenever I'd go to visit I always looked forward to seeing what she'd be wearing. She was an artist, so maybe this was part of it, but still, when she showed me her closet filled with gorgeous shoes and hats that she'd collected overtime I could tell that she treated each item with care. And I think that this is part of the issue with how people dress nowadays, they see clothing as disposable thus they don't care if it's wrinkled or stained because they can always get something new. They don't have a sense of respect for the garments they own. And I think it can translate into how people dress.

 

[mimo]

Its sad that nowdays looking like you haven't washed your clothing in ages is a type of style. I don't expect prim and proper 24/7 but using the iron isn't going to kill anyone. As a society we have become way too casual and egocentric. If I'm comfortable in pajama pants and a tank top than why should I care what others think?

As someone that worked in a second hand store I've always admired how people took their time to pick things out. I would see ladies turning dresses inside out to look at the lining and at tags for the materials.

 

[lucy92]

i wouldnt trust any of my peers that have bad taste in music (or no taste in music) or bad taste in art.

so why should bad taste in fashion be any different?

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ I guess the question is, trust them for what? To choose something for you, or to have your back or pull you from a burning car?

I like spending time with people who have taste, taste for food at a restaurant, taste for art at a museum ... but you can have character without taste, or one kind of taste and not another. I have foodie friends who have terrible taste in clothes ... I don't want to limit my experience of other people by insisting that they all have taste and discernment in many different areas before I can associate with them. If I put these kinds of standards in place, I think it would really un-enrich my life, not to mention making it impossible for me to associate with my coworkers

I keep protein bars in the car, and when I see people with signs asking for help, I check out their faces. If I'm good with what I see, I ask them if they want one. I remember one man with a long white beard who thanked me in a really beautiful way ... he was just a perfect example of how to be thankful for whatever you're receiving in this moment. I really don't remember what he was wearing, I only remember him and where he was, but I think it's safe to say he wasn't well dressed. If I had been judging him based on his clothes and taste, I never would have had that beautiful encounter with another human being.

 

[lucy92]

if i had a friend or had a peer who loved justin bieber or had similiar "taste" in music. i would seriously question their judgement, taste/sanity. it leads me to believe that the person cannot differentiate good from bad.

similarly, no taste in music/fashion/art troubles me. why shouldn't i look at philistines askance?

i would even go as far to say i consider philistines dangerous to society in my view.

 

[tigerrouge]

Given how many 'philistines' there are in society, any person is probably better off being friends with them rather than finding reasons to set themselves apart, because self-engineered isolation is more damaging than generic tastes.

You can never have too many friends and positive connections in life. A builder who never reads a book but who can create a beautiful home is someone worth knowing, even if he spends his life looking like he just stepped away from a cement mixer, and insists on playing the greatest hits of Genesis as often as he can.
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[fashionista-ta]

if i had a friend or had a peer who loved justin bieber or had similiar "taste" in music. i would seriously question their judgement, taste/sanity. it leads me to believe that the person cannot differentiate good from bad.

similarly, no taste in music/fashion/art troubles me. why shouldn't i look at philistines askance?

i would even go as far to say i consider philistines dangerous to society in my view.

It's certainly your right, but it will limit you.

Obviously Justin Bieber has an audience, much of it probably very young. As they grow up, probably many of them will likely continue to have a soft spot for his music. To me, that says they will have a taste for nostalgia. Nothing bad about that.

I noticed that my own taste in music changed fairly radically when I turned 30. Before that, I couldn't tolerate country music at all. Afterwards, I found it kind of interesting, amusing, and tolerable. Before, I liked alternative. After, I found its rhythms unsettling and not the music I wanted to spend time with. I was the same person at 29 that I was at 31. Same except different. People are welcome to judge me, but there is no one right, no one definition of good taste. One can also have taste without character. I feel people who fall in that category have really limited usefulness, and in my view they present a far greater danger to society than 'Philistines.'

 

[lucy92]

^ i was only referencing my immediate peers however/folks my own age. i wouldnt begrudge a small child who grew out of their justin bieber taste because they didnt know any better...or the homeless.

i have often used "fashion" clues to make judgement calls that i believed affected my health or the health of those that i loved.

i asked to see another veterinarian at an animal hospital after the one that was assigned to us dressed, in my view, unbecomingly and odd. her hair was straggly and unkempt. she wore a scunchie with dated, worn clothes. if she cannot keep up with her own appearance how could i expect her to keep up with the latest health news and advances in the vet field? if she doesnt care about her own hair then why should she care about my pet's coat or appearance?

similarly, i asked to see another doctor after i saw that the primary care doctor that i was assigned to had bad skin. i felt that he might not take my own skin issues seriously or give me the medicine that i needed for my skin.

 

[tigerrouge]

I have met a good number of people in the fields of science and technology who clearly had different priorities than 'dressing to impress' but that certainly didn't mean they weren't astoundingly brilliant at their particular jobs. Their focus was on matters of life and death, doing endless hours of research, getting things right, getting things done, rather than wearing the appropriate hair accessory according to someone else's arbitrary tastes.

And someone like a vet might reason that people will judge them mostly by results - because if an animal dies, their client isn't going to be consoled by how impressive their vet's watch is or how expensive their highlights seem. Those things can even start to seem like an insult in such moments, as if the vet is generally more interested in painting her nails than attending to the often 24-7 demands of keeping animals alive.

 

[fashionista-ta]

My vet tends to look a little bedraggled ... roots showing, etc. Usually looks tired, not much makeup, hair damaged, poor choice of hair color. Not once have I seen her really look great. If I were judging by her appearance alone, she'd be history. But I already know that fashion and dogs don't much go together. I judge a vet practice by the cleanliness, neatness, etc. of the non-public areas, which I get a tour of immediately. Also how they treat my dogs and me, and just like a human doctor, how open they are to my being part of any decision making process. Because I used to foster dogs for a breed rescue, I've been to many different vets, and I can't remember a single one I'd give a gold star for appearance.

I've been going to this vet for years, and I know she's good. When my dog needed to be put to sleep, she made a house call on a Saturday, which was very important to me. She found a parasite in one of my dogs that the rescue's vets failed to identify and treat. Etc. ...

Maybe working in high tech my entire career has trained me not to judge people by appearance At work, it's not unusual for the most attractive, well-groomed people to be among the least effective and competent.

 

[Zarina]

i wouldnt trust any of my peers that have bad taste in music (or no taste in music) or bad taste in art.

so why should bad taste in fashion be any different?

Nobody can be an expert in all fields - maybe they have a deep insight in other topics.

Fashion is fun, and surely it can be used to express yourself, but some people simply don't find it interesting. It doesn't mean they are not trustworthy - unless you ask them to buy clothes for you.

 

[Psylocke]

I must admit I do the same, judging people by their appearance. Not saying I'm not ready to have them prove me wrong, but when I go to the dentist and he has crooked and neglected teeth (that has happened to me before!) I will certainly wonder how he can have the capacity to decide over my teeth. If he doesn't seem like his own appearance is important enough to invest a minimum of time into it, why would I believe he wants the best of results for his clients?
Same goes for when I'm in a boutique and a sales assistant is wearing ill-fitting or mismatched clothes. I'm not going to let anyone give me styling advice when they themselves don't know how to put together a nice outfit and choose clothes for themselves that are actually flattering on them. Chances are I will assume they are only after my money and don't actually want to advise me.

Does that mean I couldn't be friends with those people? Of course not, I'm not judging their character by their fashion sense, but I do think it is in some cases justified to make judgments based on physical aspects when it comes to deciding whether or not you trust them to be the best in what they do. Especially with people who work at hospitals or restaurants there is the hygiene coming in as a factor, too. If someone reeks or has greasy hair I wouldn't trust them to meet all the regulations concerning cleanliness and such.

 

[Zarina]

Being clean and being fashionable are two different things imo. Of course it gives a bad impression if you are dirty and smell badly.