lust, caution
'Twas more than a few years ago that I began to shop online, even though I lacked regular use of the Internet at the time. Since I couldn't look at the merchandise at my leisure, I'd scribble out a list of apparel and accessories I found appealing from, say,
Urban Outfitters or
dELiA*s. (Yes, I grew up in a state that, to this day, does not have a UO. But maybe that's a
good thing.) Each product would be accompanied by jottings on price, desired size and coveted color. Sometimes I'd even compile images of all the things I wanted in a Word document, then print them out on paper. Then, anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, I'd carry that list around with me. Whenever I had some time to mentally wander, I'd take my list out and ruminate over whether those items fulfilled my deepest desires. Or my most basic needs. Either way, I'd cross off item by item 'til my catalog was whittled down to only the best (and, of course, what I could afford). Then I'd rush to the computer lab at school and in a breathless exhilaration start clicking on the "Add to Cart" or "Buy Now" buttons.
Nowadays, my Internet access is thankfully more regular. However, I still tend to keep a list of things that I'm tempted to buy so that I may contemplate fondly (or talk myself out of) more purchases while on the bus. I've been keeping these lists in my all-purpose mini-notebook or on random scraps of paper I find on my desk, but seeing this [COLOR="r DarkSlateBlue"]
Want Book[/COLOR] on
{A} makes me want to consolidate all my desires into one such tidy stack of bounded papers. I've already brushed off one of my leftover, large spiral notebooks and started sketching away at, in a novice manner, various heels I'm craving from
Zappos.
The philosophy behind such a book is one near and dear to my heart. As I mentioned in my
ode to Bona Drag (not to mention in many other
less obvious circumstances), I take my time while falling in love. Sure, when I see some enchanting, feathered accessory or darling cross-chest leather satchel, my heart oft dares to reply with a lusty, "I want you! I must have you!" And for sure, I don't dare to deny that I desire it. However, the issue always comes back to appreciation (a major personal theme of mine). Gaining appreciation for something takes time. In the same way that one may fall in love at first sight, the relationship only deepening and blossoming with time's perception and understanding, so do I have similar bonds with my frocks and flair. And so, I proceed as simply as this: I try my best to only buy things that I significantly appreciate. Sure, I don't premeditate every purchase from H&M (uh...actually almost none of them) and there are the occasional impulse buys (which are actually my way of practicing making quicker decisions and breaking my turtle ways). But on the whole, especially since I make much of my purchases online and see so many marvelously enviable items featured on your blogs, I do have the time to recognize the greater value (or not). So take that time I do.
This Want Book is symbolic of the slowing down process; it is a tool to help us gain control over our whims and wants. I don't want to live my life in the grip of insatiability for worldly goods. There are far more important things I want to devote my thoughts, my time, my energy towards. My goal in life is to be the best human being that I can possibly be, and I won't let greed or superficial, mindless consumption overpower that. Though I shall always adore and yearn for clothes with the most frolicsome of joy, I want that joy to be uncontaminated, unburdened by guilt or anxiety. In my heart of hearts, I know that this can only come to one who has complete mastery of herself: organization in one's finances, full belief in oneself, optimum physical and mental prowess, possession of and allegiance to high moral standards...essentially, performance in life to the best of one's abilities. Fashion is not a discrete category in my life; it is connected to the very essence of who I am and how I act. By no means have I achieved total discipline over all aspects of my life; I am, however, better off striving than not. I refuse, refuse, to let my relationship with fashion be a desperate, eternally unfulfilling, only partially satisfying pursuit. My hope is that one day my love for fashion will be a sheer, unbridled delight, liberated and pure like the rest of my life.
I'm proud to say I'm getting there.
Not THE Ann D lace-up boots? Now this thread is getting as bad as the "Secret Shopaholics/What did you buy today" ones. People, you're supposed to be curtailing my shopping impulses! And Ta-ta, if you want to make me even more miserable, go right ahead and post a picture of your ribbon/suede shoes.
. Have you closed it or planning on keeping it private?
.
I hate thinking about fall really, and I really don't want to think of all the things I had to buy that I really didn't want to. Knits, coats...ugh.
For me, this list is really reduced.
) piece rule more than in the past (really, I don't think a tank top qualifies as a 'piece'), although i'm not sure if footwear and accessories count- what do you guys think?
