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Astronaut Lisa Nowak charged with attempted kidnapping of romantic rival

I read this today and I'm so shocked and surprised, yet fascinated.
 
trench coat...wig and BB gun....steel mallet, a 10-centimetre folding knife, rubber tubing, US$600 and garbage bags...a pepper spray package, an unused BB-gun cartridge, latex gloves and e-mails

Lordy, I have all this stuff in my house right now. Apparently, I just need an object of my courtly love upon whom I can blossom with my favor. See Wikipedia, "The Stages of Courtly Love":

Stages of Courtly Love (Adapted from Barbara Tuchman[12])
  • Attraction to the lady, usually via eyes/glance
  • Worship of the lady from afar
  • Declaration of passionate devotion
  • Virtuous rejection by the lady
  • Renewed wooing with oaths of virtue and eternal fealty
  • Moans of approaching death from unsatisfied desire (and other physical manifestations of lovesickness)
  • Heroic deeds of valor which win the lady's heart
  • Consummation of the secret love
  • Endless adventures and subterfuges avoiding detection
Just switch the genders, omit the "subterfuges-avoiding-detection" bit, and add a steel mallet---Romance!
 

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