Do you and your partner have similar "spending styles" ?Confessions here!!

[QuirkyCool]

Uhm confession time!! I have recently read a few articles in women's magazines about women earning and spending their own money and hiding their purchases from their boyfriends/husbands.Or vice versa.

There is an article in UK Elle (September 2005) called "Help,I'm a financial adultress" and I could totally relate!!!

Unfortunately I don't seem to be able to find a website for Elle UK so I can post the article.

I was wondering whether anyone else here has this problem.

It's like this...I love clothes and fashion and I always have.It's one of my great passions and it's what most of my disposable income goes on.

Boyfriend is very thrifty.As long as he is neatly and appropriately dressed,he's happy.When I spot a new pair of shoes I like for him,he'll say something like "But I already have black shoes!".He checks the prices of different brands when buying groceries.

We live together but each earn our own money and our finances,other than household stuff,are completely separate.

Now,he already thinks that i spend a ridiculous amount on clothes,but he doesn't know the half of it.

He doesn't notice clothing much,so the age-old "I've worn this so many times before...you don't pay attention!!" or "I've had it for years,I just don't wear it much" quite often does the trick.

But there's more!! When I buy shoes,I often take them without the box,all the better to smuggle them into the house.When I've shopped at several boutiques,I'll often go into the dressing rooms of a department store to consolidate everything into one,better smugglable parcel.

If my purchases don't fit into my roomy Roxy or Paddingtons,I leave them in the boot of my car for a moment when bf is absent.I rip off pricetags and conceal them carefully in the garbage.

I carefully time NAP purchases to arrive on my free day when he is at work.If I miss a delivery,I run to the mailbox first to get the slip out before he sees it.

I reiterate,I am spending only my own money and I have no debts,though of course my savings account isn't nearly as healthy as it should be.My spending doesn't directly affect him in any way,yet I know it bothers him.

In every other way we are the perfect couple... .

I guess I'm a dreadful financial adultress and a cliche of our times....but do I stand alone?

 

[rhiannonmars]

My husband and I have the same spending style, as in, spend it all, buy expensive, etc. The only difference is that I have more guilt that him. My mother was an insane guilt tripper, so I always have it in my back of my mind that "I'm spoiled" or "where else this money could be going to". I am lucky to have found such an amazing husband who is just like me though in most every way. He doesn't blink at a $2000 purse tag, none the less a $4000 coat tag! Money is here to enjoy while you are living, so we do that!

Also, I get way more things than my husband. Mens clothing just doesn't have as much to offer! He doesn't need purses. He doesn't need jewelry beyond a watch. He does buy electronics though. Often they are for both of us, but those are his toys. (cameras, cell phones, playstation, etc.)

Next month though we are going to have more money so were strictly dividing up his spending money and mine. This way I'll have less guilt about him not getting enough, and I can spend till the cows come home with in my own budget.

 

[izze]

Uhm confession time!! I have recently read a few articles in women's magazines about women earning and spending their own money and hiding their purchases from their boyfriends/husbands.Or vice versa.

There is an article in UK Elle (September 2005) called "Help,I'm a financial adultress" and I could totally relate!!!

Unfortunately I don't seem to be able to find a website for Elle UK so I can post the article.

I was wondering whether anyone else here has this problem.

It's like this...I love clothes and fashion and I always have.It's one of my great passions and it's what most of my disposable income goes on.

Boyfriend is very thrifty.As long as he is neatly and appropriately dressed,he's happy.When I spot a new pair of shoes I like for him,he'll say something like "But I already have black shoes!".He checks the prices of different brands when buying groceries.

We live together but each earn our own money and our finances,other than household stuff,are completely separate.

Now,he already thinks that i spend a ridiculous amount on clothes,but he doesn't know the half of it.

He doesn't notice clothing much,so the age-old "I've worn this so many times before...you don't pay attention!!" or "I've had it for years,I just don't wear it much" quite often does the trick.

But there's more!! When I buy shoes,I often take them without the box,all the better to smuggle them into the house.When I've shopped at several boutiques,I'll often go into the dressing rooms of a department store to consolidate everything into one,better smugglable parcel.

If my purchases don't fit into my roomy Roxy or Paddingtons,I leave them in the boot of my car for a moment when bf is absent.I rip off pricetags and conceal them carefully in the garbage.

I carefully time NAP purchases to arrive on my free day when he is at work.If I miss a delivery,I run to the mailbox first to get the slip out before he sees it.

I reiterate,I am spending only my own money and I have no debts,though of course my savings account isn't nearly as healthy as it should be.My spending doesn't directly affect him in any way,yet I know it bothers him.

In every other way we are the perfect couple... .

I guess I'm a dreadful financial adultress and a cliche of our times....but do I stand alone?

Oh my! You remind me of Rebecca Bloomwood from the Confessions of a Shopaholic books.

Yes, I can relate. I'm the same way with my husband. He's very thrifty in most ways. I like to spend my money on new clothes, shoes, bags, etc. I've used the line "This old thing? I've had it FOREVER" many times.

He knows the truth though... it has become a joke between us when I say that, he knows I JUST bought it and luckily he finds it amusing. Thank goodness my husband loves my faults.

However, this is something I would love to correct and stop doing! Maybe next month...

 

[jpymon]

I am a huge spender, usually buying things I am not quite sure I will ever get around to wear (Louis Vuitton Geronimos which i find is incredibly uncomfortable, but i loved it, and a vintage tooth necklace that looks a bit too much David Beckham on me, for example), and more often than not, I find myself lying not just to my boyfriend, but to anyone, that things are super old and that I just hadn't come around to wear them. I have had a few problems with him ebcause he says I spend way too much on eveything, and urges me to buy ten Zara items for the price of a pair of Gucci loafers, but man, monogrammed feet do make me feel good. And at the end of the day I end up buying the Gucci and the Zara, so whatever. I always tell him that it's my money, so stay out... his birthday is coming up next week though.... I can't be frugal now when he knows how much i spend on myself! sh*t!

 

[Missoni~Heiress]

I have been hidding shopping from my parents since the dawn of time... thats why i use big handbags... i am a shopaholic where is rehab? x

 

[Hebden]

If my purchases don't fit into my roomy Roxy or Paddingtons,I leave them in the boot of my car for a moment when bf is absent.I rip off pricetags and conceal them carefully in the garbage.

I carefully time NAP purchases to arrive on my free day when he is at work.If I miss a delivery,I run to the mailbox first to get the slip out before he sees it.

I reiterate,I am spending only my own money and I have no debts,though of course my savings account isn't nearly as healthy as it should be.My spending doesn't directly affect him in any way,yet I know it bothers him.

I don't know what to say...you're spending your own money but you're acting like a fugitive because YOU'RE spending YOUR money on things for YOURSELF "bothers" your boyfriend.

 

[charlottesometimes]

He doesn't notice clothing much,so the age-old "I've worn this so many times before...you don't pay attention!!" or "I've had it for years,I just don't wear it much" quite often does the trick.

But there's more!! When I buy shoes,I often take them without the box,all the better to smuggle them into the house.When I've shopped at several boutiques,I'll often go into the dressing rooms of a department store to consolidate everything into one,better smugglable parcel.

If my purchases don't fit into my roomy Roxy or Paddingtons,I leave them in the boot of my car for a moment when bf is absent.I rip off pricetags and conceal them carefully in the garbage.

I carefully time NAP purchases to arrive on my free day when he is at work.If I miss a delivery,I run to the mailbox first to get the slip out before he sees it.

I reiterate,I am spending only my own money and I have no debts,though of course my savings account isn't nearly as healthy as it should be.My spending doesn't directly affect him in any way,yet I know it bothers him.

In every other way we are the perfect couple... .

I guess I'm a dreadful financial adultress and a cliche of our times....but do I stand alone?

QuirkyCool, I do exactly the same...the car boot, the price tags, the consolidated smugglable parcel. I have my ebay purchases sent to my parents address.

It's my money I'm spending, and we're not in debt (apart from out mortgage) or have money worries, but my husband is so thrifty that I sometimes feel guilty. He doesn't get why I need so many clothes, shoes, bags etc.

I think that money is for enjoying life and I get so much enjoyment from my wardrobe. My husband gets no joy from such things, so just tends to save his money.....except when he wants to buy a new surfboard and then money is no object.

So, no....you do not stand alone..I wish to confess my sins as well.....

 

[QuirkyCool]

Hebden,you're right,it does sound weird put like that.I guess that somewhere within myself it must bother me,too....otherwise I would just think "keep out of my affairs,dear!".

Charlottesometimes...glad to hear someone else can relate!!!

Izze...when the first Shopaholic book came out I was given it as a present,so strongly was my friend reminded of me .And I thought I was reading about myself!!! Good that your hubby has a sense of humour about your "weakness" LOL!

Yup...it's always going to get better next month...

 

[cupkate]

i too live with my bf. he knows of my shopping skills. and even if i feel the need to hide it... i usually end up telling him. he tends to hide from me more. he'll get a package in the mail that i've never heard anything about. but he's not a clothing guy... he's an electronics guy. so it seems for every item of clothing i buy it seems he's getting something to build a computer or a new video game.

i'd say we're even and fairly understanding.

 

[QuirkyCool]

^^^ You guys are lucky and well matched then,cupkate .

BTW I love the way you call shopping a "skill" rather than a weakness,excellent attitude!!!

 

[Winter-Blossom]

I cave to my other half's pressure tactics... Like, I am passing on a Chloe Paddington Bag even though it would be my own money paying for it, he's giving me this huge guilt trip about buying a $1400 bag! If only he knew what I had purchased before he came into the picture... But his expressed dissaproval over the paddington has kept my credit card safely ensconsed in my lv wallet! I just think that I'd feel guilty and not enjoy the bag so much knowing he doesn't approve. So, next time I'm in lust over a piece of clothing or a bag, I'm just going to buy it and not share the price of the item with him! I also tell him that I have had whatever the new piece in question is for ages... And I get rid of the tags and recipts before he can snoop around and find them! Isn't it silly what we do?